


Perchance to Dream

by Sanguied



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-13
Updated: 2011-01-13
Packaged: 2017-10-14 17:47:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 64,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/151845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sanguied/pseuds/Sanguied
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A peek at a very different Scoobie Crew and Fang Gang when an alternate universe mixes with our own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Inside the belly of the Beast

**Author's Note:**

> This was written sometime in the 90's. It's won a couple of awards and I'm thankful for each mention.  
> There are non-detailed mentions of rape and later on some details of violence.

Part 1

“Name?” The bored soldier barked with his machine gun aimed at the nose before him.

He remained calm, despite the flash of fear streaking up his spine and the gun aimed in his face, if this failed. “Harris, Alexander- Human.” He handed over his clearance card.

The soldier took the little plastic card, adjusted his smog mask with the same hand, and finally scanned the card through a machine attached to his hip. “You’re cleared for three hours Mr. Harris. Please enjoy your stay.”

Xan took the card back and quickly walked towards the gate. As it opened, he called over his shoulder, starting towards the large building. “Yeah, thanks. I will.”

From the outside the building looked like any other. After the fall, all building looked tore up from the floor up, but this. This had a menace, a presence that filled him with dread. Maybe it was the building itself. Maybe it was what he knew. Xander paused mid-step. Shit, he’d forgotten to ask the soldier if there’d been any arrests today. At least that way he would’ve known if they had made it. There was no going back now. He’d just have to hope.

There were two more checkpoints before he actually made it to the door. He now only had two hours before he had to meet the team in the fourth floor utility closet. He’d studied the building plans for weeks and Will had quizzed him endlessly. Now there was no doubt in his mind that he could find the closet, but finding what they had risked their lives for. That was a whole other matter.

The lobby was crawling with soldiers. He kept his head down. The carpet looked new, dark red and fluffy. He hoped he was leaving acid rain induced rubber marks on it as he walked towards the walls. Each onyx covered wall held a computer and as he made his way to the closest, he sent a prayer to whoever would take pity on him.

He touched the computer screen. “Please insert identification card and be ready for retinal scan.”

He did as the computer asked and stood very still for the scan, though his hands shook. A wall came up around him, protecting him from the casual glances of the guards and others in the lobby. For the first time he let out the breath he’d been holding since the gate.

“Thank you Mr. Harris for your loyalty to Wolfram & Hart.” Xander bit off the immediate nasty remark. “You have been given three hours to enjoy the accommodations of this building. Please begin by making your first section.”

He scanned the lists of options and found the one he’d been schooled to press.  
“You have chosen, pleasure.” He pegged the button that said this was correct.

“Please pick, breed.” He skimmed the list. Damn, he’d no idea this building was big enough to hold all the different types of demons, vampires, humans and even a section called ‘others’.

“You have chosen vampire, is this correct?” Damn machine, he wished Will had been the one to do this part. Then again Willow had enough to do. This was the least he could do for her. He shoved the correct button.

“Please choose, gender?” And there were, of course, more offerings than just male and female. He didn’t bother trying to sort it all out and hit ‘male’. He barely refrained from punching the correct button. He glanced at his timer, by now the rest of the team had entered the building. He hoped they’d made it at least. Damn, worrying about them wasn’t going to get this done faster.

“There are 45 male vampires in this building. Would you like the computer to choose, or would you prefer a picture listing?” Xander moaned at the number, but it could have been much worse. He reminded himself they had at least four times that many humans. “You have chosen, picture listing. You may see all pictures, or narrow your search by physical feature.”

“What feature would you like to narrow the search to?” He speed-read the options. There was only one he knew for sure, hair could be changed but eyes.

“You have chosen blue eyes. There are 25 with blue eyes. Would you like a picture listing?” Xander sighed and hit the ‘yes’ button and felt like a pervert in a grocery store.

He peered at each picture as it floated in front of him. He started to panic, as the list grew smaller. He was nearly panting when he reached 25, without seeing who he was looking for. He bit off the scream of desperation. They knew he was in this building. He hit the ‘more’ button and prayed with fevered curses.

“You have chosen, more. There are 2 more vampires with your qualifications. They are high-level clearance. If either is chosen, you will be added a large penalty.”

“Yeah, yeah, damn machine.” He hit continue.

A picture pulled up. Same eyes, but they were missing something. No time for that now. He’d know that eyebrow scar anywhere. He mumbled. “Jackpot.” A name pulled up under the picture. William Taylor Banning. Not the name he thought they’d use. Before pounding the ‘yes’ key, he paused and decided it wouldn’t hurt to see who the other poor sucker was.

A face popped up. He didn’t recognize him but that meant nothing. He read the name out loud, to help it stay in his memory. In case he ever needed it later. He could always sell the information. “Nicholas De’Brabant, aka Nick Knight.”

He hit the back button. He really didn’t want to know why these two had been singled out, and ignoring the possibilities his mind provided, he hit ‘yes’.

“You have chosen a high-level. There will be a penalty of 50 WH credits. Please insert your card to have the credits charged.” Xan groaned. 50 WH credits would’ve been more than a couple of thousand in the old world order. Xan silently begged that Willow had put that much on the card. She’d said she added enough ‘in case’ credit, but how the hell much was ‘in case’ credits these days? Here’s hoping. He inserted the card.

“This charge will leave your card with a worth of 10 credits. Are you sure you would like to complete the transaction?” *Go Willow! *

For the last time, yes, he tapped the key. The card was spit back out. He pocketed it and waited.

“The room is number 666- level 10. Please take the key offered below. You now have 2 and half hours remaining. Thank you, hail the New Order of Wolfram & Hart.”

The screen dropped from around Xander. He backed away with a mumbled. “Hail the New Order.” With a sod off whispered beneath his breath. He headed towards the elevators.

He had to insert the room key to get the elevator to start its rise and he paced as he waited. Damn it all. If he, or they, were caught, that was it for them. They’d be dead. Gone like so many of their number. His team was the best. He reminded himself and they’d make this.

The elevator stopped just as he’d started taking calming, but not hyperventilating, breaths. He stepped into the hall as the elevator called out to him, “Hail the New Order.” Xan kept the nasty comment beneath his breath and stopped cold, biting his lip to keep from whistling. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been in somewhere so clean and upscale. Before the new order that was for sure, wow. He checked the blinking arrows on the wall in front of him. He went left for the number he wanted.

Even numbers were on the right side of the hall. He kept his eyes that way as he hurried past. He was running out of time here. Damn computers. Then number 666 was staring him in the face. That had to be that number, didn’t it? Jeez, if he believed in signs this would be a bad one.

Taking a deep breath, he inserted the damn key. The door slid open. The room was rather dark and he tried not to jump as the door slide shut behind him. Xan really hated going into dark rooms. He raised his hand and felt the wall for the light source. There wasn’t one. He waited for his eyes to get used to the minimal light.

The only thing he could hear was soft music, classical and romantic. His eyes made out a shape, white and low to the floor and he felt, rather than saw it move. Not knowing what else to do he asked out. “I need more light.”

The room must have been on computer, cause the light rose enough to make him gasp. The white thing was the vampire he’d been looking for. He was in complete white, kneeing on the floor, and with his head down. All Xan could see was the top of long, dark blond hair.

“I live to fulfill your fantasy, Master. How may I serve you?” The head did not rise. The words were soft and yet still very British. Xan felt like he’d been punched in the gut. What had they done to him?

Xan, at a loss, kneeled in front of the figure. He watched his own hand shake as he tilted the figure’s chin up. “Oh God, Spike?”

The figure’s eyes were wide and all so blue, so childlike, and so very fearful. This wasn’t the vampire he’d known, where was the brash, the rudeness, the smirk?

“Xan, is that you?” Such hope. God, he felt like a total shit for taking so long to get here.

“Yeah, it’s me. We’re going to get you out of here.”

“We’re?” He looked around Xan, and seeing no one, he tilted his head up at him.

“They’re waiting for us. Come on, get up, my knees are killing me.” Xan pulled himself up and dropped his hand to help the vampire. God knew how long he’d been in that position.

It was unneeded. The vampire jumped up. Xander had forgotten how small Spike was. Not to mention he’d never seen Spike in white, a long white sweater and silk white, well sort of sheer pants. In all, the Spike he remembered and this one were so different and yet exactly the same. He’d just forgotten.

“We don’t have much time. Do you want to change and maybe put some shoes on?” He glanced at his timer. They had an hour to get to the closet and they were going to need as much of that time as possible to get to the darn place. And the vampire wasn’t moving, just staring.

“You’ve really come to get me out of here? It’s been so long.” Xan paused. Poor guy, he looked rather delicate. Xan was tempted to explain what had taken so long. However that would waste time. Time, they so did not have.

“I’ll explain later. When we’re out of here and back at base.”

Spike looked like he wanted to ask something but then decided against it. Xander knew it what it was. Where was Angel? Then second, who was left? Xan was glad the blond had put it off. He really didn’t have time to walk that road. Maybe that one was best left for Will.

“I can’t leave.” The vampire looked so miserable even as he mumbled.

“What do you mean, you can’t leave? You’re leaving.” Xander was aspirated. Maybe he should just knock the vampire out and hope for the best. Then again that would be a compromise to the mission.

“I have this collar.” Spike fingered a gold band around his neck. “So they can control me. I can’t leave this room.” Xander wordlessly lifted the leg of his worn leather pants and pulled out a flat gray card.

“Turn around.” The vampire gave him a hopeless look but followed the instruction without comment, which twisted Xan’s stomach. Spike, listening without question, it was an abomination.

The gray card took a moment before glowing red, signaling the collar had been turned off and he released it. Willow was his god. She’d thought of everything. He handed it to the vampire, who threw it across the room with a disgusted growl. “Any more problems? You’ll need to hurry if you want to change.”

“This is the most covering outfit I have. So I’m not changing and,” the vampire dropped his gaze to the floor, “I don’t have any shoes.”

“Then we should get going.” The floors in the building were nice and carpeted. So they wouldn’t have a problem with the shoe thing until they were outside and then he could just carry the vampire.

“Is there anything you want to take?” Xander looked around the room, wow. He didn’t have a chance to look around before. Glass covered cabinets covered every available wall, showcasing various torture devices, whips, chains and bondage materials. Jeez, this place was better stocked than the adult shop on 5th Ave. Complete with the biggest bed Xan had ever seen, before or after the new order. The room was made for sex in any shape or size.

He was almost afraid to ask. “Is this your actual room or is there another where you keep your stuff?”

Spike looked around him and saw the room from Xan’s point of the view. He sighed, shame coloring his features. “This is it.”

Xan didn’t bother looking at the sex toys. The rest was more amazing, clean carpet, a real bed, a refrigerator, and a working microwave. He hadn’t seen perfect working stuff like this in a long time. He’d gotten so used to Will’s fix-ups he’d forgotten what they had originally looked like. “Where are your clothes?”

Spike nodded towards a door in the room. Xan figured, at the very least, he could get some clothes for the vampire and if Spike didn’t want them, they could always sell them.

The room was small but packed with clothes. The vampire hadn’t been lying when he’d said the white outfit was the most covering he had. Every outfit in the small room was cut to profile the blond vampire’s looks. He didn’t even bother wondering why there were young girl’s dresses in the mess. Spike wouldn’t want any of these but the materials were the best. They were so well made. Xander was sure they’d fetch a good price. He grabbed a pile, found a sack and shoved the clothing in, now to get the hell out of here.

As he left the room, he groaned at having to leave the microwave and frig behind. It was a damn shame, but that would surely draw attention. He could just see himself, trotting along with the appliances, not to mention Spike and the clothes. Then having to explain to every guard and Willow why he was taking the whole room.

Xan looked up and froze. Spike had systematically opened every glass-covered cabinet and broken everything. Chains, whips, everything lay in torn tatters around the room. Xan hadn’t heard a thing, * how the hell? *

Xan didn’t ask out loud. He didn’t want to mention it at all. If he did, Spike might tell him what they’d done to him and Xander couldn’t stand hearing that. Not now, maybe never.

Spike looked at the bag of clothes in Xander’s hand, and with a snort of disgusted, he moved to take them away. “No, they’re not for you. We’ll sell them, okay. We’ll use the money to get you some decent ones and some shoes. Come on, be reasonable, you’re going to need some credits to get something black, right?”

The vampire dropped his hand and Xander headed towards the door. From the corner of his eye, Xan caught a glimpse of a dark figure. He pushed the vampire away and headed towards it. He hadn’t seen this doorway before and as he called for the lights, he realized it was a bathroom. The person he had chased in here was his own refection.

It had been awhile since he’d looked at his own face. A short beard made him look older than his twenty-two years and a scar could be just slightly seen through the beard. His eyes looked old and tired. For the first time he could understand why Will was always telling him to take a break. He looked like a mercenary. He looked mean and he’d thought Queen C had been kidding him when she’d said he scared the new troops. He tried to smile, that improved the picture. At least he was clean and groomed.

He had to remember to smile more often. It felt strange so he probably didn’t do it enough. Long leather coat, blue shirt and black leather pants, did he look like one of the head leaders of the resistance? Yep, which meant they had to move fast. God, no matter how much more he was wearing than Spike, he still felt naked without his guns. He needed to get to the team.

He didn’t jump when the hand touched his own but he did turn and grab it. It was only Spike, who was looking up at him with curiosity. Xan turned from the mirror and his inspection to the door.

It was easy, too easy, as they used to say in the movies. By the time they reached the closet, Xan was sure they were being tricked. Spike clung to him and followed every instruction without back talk, which helped out. Xander had to admit having the vampire clinging to him didn’t feel all that bad.

He listened at the closet door before entering. He heard Willow’s voice and deemed it safe. Without a gun he really had no choice, he mumbled. “Trust in Willow,” before turning the knob.

He pulled himself and the vampire through the door and was met face to face with a gun, which now a days didn’t upset him all too much. Guns were too often in his face. Calmly, he reached out and took it from the redhead holding it. “Hey Will, when I said watch my guns, I didn’t mean shove them in my face.”

She smiled and hugged him. She leaned back to look at his face her green eye taking him in. The other eye, with a metal iris, read his vitals to make sure it was him. Once both eyes were satisfied, she looked towards blonde. “Spike.”

Xander sighed. They all had to make sacrifices for the cause and some were more seen than others. Will’s implants were of the more obvious kind. Her eye had been removed and replaced with a robotic. With it, she could download information faster than with any normal eye. Not to mention scan for life signs and vitals and God knew what else. She also had a jack up cord inserted into her wrist, which allowed her to access any pc system. Even with the robotic parts she was still Willow and all friend.

The redhead began giving the blonde the same treatment. Xander stepped around them to Queen C. He could hear Spike ask about Willow’s implants.

Cordelia Chase, known only by that name to her oldest friends. To everyone else, including the troops, she was Queen C. A bitch and a topknot shot. Willow’s hair was long and braided down her back and her clothes gypsy-like. Willow looked more like a mystic than a rebel and he was perhaps more the mercenary type. Queen C was all resistance rebel. She wore her hair black and short, with army fatigues and all three of her guns were always fully visible. Queen C always looked ready for a fight and was known to give better than she got.

The Queen was currently looking over a pc screen, her eyes glazed. She glanced up at him before returning to the screen. “I think Will and I set off a silent alarm sneaking in. I think they know we’re here and they just want to know what we want. I sent Wes and G to check out the floor. If they’re not back in 5, then they’ve been taken down. According to this, the air vent we came in on is down now and we don’t really have a way out, unless you can talk Will into doing something.”

“Alright. I’m on it. How long?”

Queen C was not known to be shy, which was why she was their main recruiter. If you made it past the Queen, you were all right.

“Depends, if Wes and G walk through that door. At tops, 20 minutes.”

Willow was, at one point, the best magic they had. The implants changed that. Another sacrifice they hadn’t known about before hand. The implants altered magic users. She was still powerful, but very unpredictable. Now Wes was the best they had and he learned everything from Willow that he could.

And while Wes was good, damn good, his power was still not as great as the redhead’s had once been. However because Willow never really knew the outcome of her spells, getting her to do one was nearly impossible. Only a select few could get her to even try.  
With help she might have been able to improve, but in the new order who could afford a therapist?

Willow was still talking with Spike, who looked grimmer with every word he heard from the witch. Xander picked up the rest of his own personal armory from the table Queen was working at and wandered over to the pair. “I hate to interrupt kids but this is about to be a rather public party. Willow, we need some of that magic stuff.”

Willow’s green eye turned to anguish and she buried her head in her hands. Xander knew how to make this work. Working with vampires for years now, he knew how good their hearing was, he whispered Spike’s name under his breath. When blonde looked up at him, Xander quickly whispered for him to go along and to keep quite with what he was about to say. The vampire nodded and dropped his eyes. Xander again mourned the loss of the old Spike.

“Willow, sweetheart, listen. If they catch us they’ll kill us, right?” He kneeled in front of the box she was sitting on and pulled her hands from her face. One eye had a tear slowly making its way down the lovely face. The other coldly regarded him. Xander concentrated on the green eye. She nodded her head at his words, unable to speak.

“Yeah, we’ll be dead and it will all over for us. The leaders of the resistance will be no more, but they’ll carry on. So no big loss, but what about him?” He pointed with his head towards the vampire. Willow followed it, looking at the blonde, who looked stark white with terror.  
Xan pushed on, letting his urgency show. “What do you think they’ll do to him? Will, the room I found him in was just a sexual torture chamber and now that he’s tried to escape. What do you think they’ll do? They won’t kill him. It will be far worse.”

He had his ‘in’ and he pressed it without mercy. “What about Wes? Sweetie, remember how scared he was to come here? He was terrified. Do you think they’ll just kill him? You know they won’t. They’ll put him in a room right next to Spike. Remember how much he would be worth to them? Ambrose is still looking for him.”

Willow nodded, sniffing. Her green eye flowed freely and she reached out to the vampire’s face. The blond violently flinched from her. Her green-eye flashed with pain. Then it was as cold as its robotic counterpart, still looking at Spike, she hissed. “Those bastards. I’ll try, as soon as G and Wes return. I’ll use Wes to stabilize a portal to the old magic shop headquarters.”

Xander patted her knee and heard noise outside the door. He stood and moved beside it as it opened. G reacted as calmly as Xan had at the guns presence. Wes pushed it away from his face as they came in but both waited at the door until Willow nodded, indicating it was them. Xander lowered the gun. “What’s the sit?”

G only had eyes for his girlfriend, moving Queen C’s way to give her a kiss. It was a ritual, whenever one had been away from the other. Wes jumped in. “They know we’re here. They have troops on the way. About 10 minutes and we’ll be surrounded.”

“Wes, help Will with a spell. G, Queen get us loaded up.” Queen jumped up, shutting down the pc, and grabbing the various items they had brought.

Gunn reloaded his gun, cocked it at ready and grinned towards Xander. “Locked and loaded man.” G had noticed Spike when he came in. No doubt Wes had as well, both were too cautious not to. Xan watched as G put his full attention towards the vampire. “Long time no see vamp. Ready to rejoin the fight?”

Instead of saying anything the vampire just nodded with a slight smile. When Gunn looked to question, Xander motioned not now. G dropped it but he looked concerned. When Spike was quiet, all was not of the good.

Wes was the only one on the team who didn’t use a standard weapon. Instead, he used a green ball which formed from his hand. The green ball was actually natural only to Wes. Even Willow couldn’t copy the act or the raw power. A lovely green light which made Wes’ hands glow and was as deadly as any standard weapon. Honestly, much more so. Wes used it with pinpoint accuracy and over the years it was as natural as breathing for Wes to always have it. Instead of the playful little ball it was normally Wes had expanded it to full size. It glowed dangerously in his hand as the threat to them came closer.

Even after all this time that energy ball grabbed Xander’s attention. He didn’t notice for a moment what Wes was doing. Until he looked up from the ball and noticed how Wes stared at the vampire. Xander was standing close enough to hear him whisper to Willow. “Are you sure that’s Spike? I don’t remember him being so quiet.”

Willow nodded sadly. The green eye again threatened tears. “It’s him, Wes. They just really hurt him.”

Wes took her at her word. Not only because all knew the electronic eye could not be fooled, but if anyone knew pain and what Wolfram & Hart could do with it, it was Wes.

Willow, not wanting Wes to start thinking, quickly started instructing him on his part in the spell and Xander drifted away. He helped Queen C and ignored what he’d heard. He didn’t want to know about anyone’s pain.

Sweat poured from the redhead as she twilled her hands and spoke her tongue. Wes shook on his feet but did not let the ball fade from his hand. All too soon voices could be heard outside the door.

Xander pulled the vampire behind him, readying his gun towards the door. All he could hope for was that most of the guards would be human, but he knew it wouldn’t be so. Yet again he called to a God he was sure no longer heard him. A portal burst to life behind him. He heard Willow scream and start yelling at everyone to go through. They headed that way.

One jump, they had to all go at once and when he felt everyone behind him at the brink of the hole, he pushed. He grabbed Spike with his gun free hand, just as he saw the door burst open and then it was gone.

Having long gotten used to pre-implanted Willow jumps, Xander landed on his feet, both guns out.

As a soldier, he took stock of his team and his whereabouts. The magic shop but it didn’t look at all like he remembered. Instead of a ruin it was a fully loaded shop.

Everyone else looked as confused as he did. Wes still had the glowing ball. Everyone but the vampire had all weapons ready.

Xander’s eyes covered the room and came face to face with himself.


	2. 11 Pizzas later

Part 2

Xan stared in shock while very familiar people pulled themselves from the floor. He watched as his other self crawled out from under the table. Without moving his eyes from-well-himself, he called back to his witch. “Will what’s the sit?”

“Umm, E-eye says it’s us. I mean them. So I guess I kinda, over jumped our universe.” He could hear the hitch in her voice.

Xan was going to reassure her but G beat him to it. “Good job, witchy woman. We’re not in the new order’s hands, are we? You did good.”

Xander was about to full heartedly agree when he saw her and the older man. “Buffy? Giles?” He watched them walk towards them and he could not believe what he was seeing. It was like the ghosts of the past. He was afraid if he reached out they would be gone.

Then she spoke. “You’re not vampire Xander, are you?”

Unable to speak, he shook his head no, and Queen C spoke up. “Don’t mind Xan. Its just, on our side of the universe, you’re way dead.”

*Two hours and 11 pizzas later.

It had been a long time since anyone in the resistance had pizza, not to mention soda. Both parties sat back from the table, staring at each in amazement and shock, so many differences.

Where the resistance came from Queen C, Wes, and G were with them always. Here, they lived in L.A. and were only visiting Sunnydale. Here, they had never heard of the new world order but the L.A. folks sure knew about Wolfram & Hart. Buffy and Giles were alive and people they’d never heard of Tara, Dawn, and Anya worked with their counterparts.

Their counterparts had been suitably shocked by the new world order. They were stunned to learn Buffy and Giles had been killed in the first wave and that Dawn had never existed. Most awing to them, was that the Scooby’s and their troops were the only thing between death and life for all. Not just with the supernatural stuff but in a full out war.

Xan glanced down at the vampire sleeping at his feet and the blonde head resting on his knee. Spike’s counterpart wasn’t here but would be later. Xan wondered how the two would get along and how his Spike would like seeing how he used to be.

The quiet blond had caused quite a stir and Xan had left all questions about him unanswered. While the blond had been awake he was never further than a foot from Xan. He had only spoken once since their arrival and that was to say no when offered some pizza.

They asked about his hair, which was different than the last time Xan had seen it as well. Dark blond and no long dyed. The bangs were long, the back short, a pageboy cut, as he thought they were called. It made the vampire look like a kid. The fact that their counterparts Spike wore black and this one had shown up in all white, theirs was rude and his never spoke a word.

Xan deflected every question, while letting the vampire know it was okay to stay near him. He just hovered as Xan’s silent shadow. He was tempted to wake the vampire to see if he needed some blood but thought perhaps he needed sleep more.

The Willow’s were discussing the implants. Queen C was telling Cordelia she didn’t know what she was missing not giving Gunn a chance. As for himself, Xan couldn’t help but think about how soft the vampire’s hair was running through his fingers. He also wondered how the counterpart of himself could be such a child. Then again this Xander had a right to be. He wasn’t the head of a resistance.

Unfortunately it was time to bring up his vampire and explain, to both sides of the universe a little of what was going on so issues could be avoided. “Your attention everyone.” His quiet voice overrode the conversations and he had the floor. His people looked ready to listen. The counterparts looked shocked at the command coming from him. It seemed his counterpart had to do some work in the forceful department.   
“He’s asleep and I want to get this out of the way before his counterpart shows up.”

Buffy looked under the table and saw the vampire asleep against Xan’s leg. “Why wouldn’t you tell us about him earlier?”

Earlier he’d said they were escaping a new order building while rescuing one of their own. Now he explained in slightly more detail on how Spike was caught by the new order four years ago. How they had looked for him and when they’d finally found him, it had taken months to get in there after him.

He explained very little about the room, the collar, the clothing, and just hinted at what Spike had said to him when he came into the room. Reliving that moment gave him chills. Xan was a seasoned warrior, very little gave him chills, but seeing the vampire on his knees, ready to take anything had.

Now his people knew and that would put them on protect and defend mode about the vampire. The counterparts would perhaps treat him a little more kindly than they treated their own Spike. He finished up with. “I don’t think he likes to be touched. I think he’s touching me cause I’m the one that got him out. So just watch it. I don’t know how he’ll react if provoked. Remember my Spike isn’t chipped like yours.” He looked to Cordelia. “Ms. Chase, did I hear you mention that Angel was out with your Spike?”

“Um yes. I was telling me, I mean, Queen C.” Cordelia gave her counterpart a weird look, not sure about the moniker Queen C. “That he was out patrolling. We’re just here researching. Spike got antsy, so they went out.”

“So he’ll be coming back here with your Spike. I don’t suppose you could tell me about their relationship.”

Xan and the resistance were distressed to find out that on the counterparts side Spike and Angel barely got along more often fighting than not.

Giles noted this and waited everyone out, before questioning. “I take it on your side it’s rather different.”

Xander just nodded and glanced under the table at his own version of Spike. Queen C took up the mantle. “You could say that. They’ve been lovers for like years and years.”

Once their counterparts had come down from the shock and their own distress, G took his ladies hand, kissed it, and continued for her. “They were good for each other. So leave it alone. It’s not your Spike and Angel. Don’t worry about it. In any case, our Angel went out one night to meet someone about finding his Wil and he never came back. We don’t know where he is and we haven’t had a chance to mention to Spike about him yet.”

Xander spoke up. “And we’re not going to. Until we get home. We’ll let him think our Angel is back there. We just won’t mention it. We will; however, have to tell him when we return. So I don’t want his last memory of any Angel to be one where the guy is, in any universe, treating him like a jerk. So do you think you could talk yours into being nice to our Spike?”

Buffy jumped up. “I can do that. Once he understands, he’ll agree.”

Queen C stood up as well. “Permission Sir, request.” Knowing Queen as he did, Xan gave his permission. By his counterpart’s faces, this proved how different they really were. “May I come with you Slayer? I want to take a look around.”

Buffy, not trusting her voice for the shock, just nodded.

Xan looked at his Queen C, a warrior with various guns and her army wears. Then, as the slayer and Queen C left, he turned his attention to this universe’s Cordelia. He couldn’t imagine her wearing fatigues, much less shooting a gun.

What a few changes in the world could do to a person? However as big a difference as there was between the Cordelia’s. There were more between the Wesley’s. His own looked like a young rebel, short leather coat, leather pants, green tee shirt, and the ever-present green ball. The green energy was presently small and harmless looking while Wes played with it, rolling it between his fingers or between his hands.

Wes’ counterpart looked like a young professor. A professor, who not only couldn’t do the green ball, was attempting to question Wes and doing badly at it. Xan could tell his Wes was trying very hard not to singe the guy just to shut him up. His Wes was not known for patience and tolerance of questions.

Then there was Xan’s own counterpart, a child with goofy taste in clothes and a girlfriend named Anya. In all, someone that was enjoying his youth, his counterpart’s eyes had very little of the pain he was sure his own had. He was too tried to even be jealous. There was just a small ache for what could have been and perhaps a little glee too. He looked better with the beard than without. Will had been right about that one, his counterpart’s girlfriend kept giving him the eye. He winked at her and loved the jealously on the other Xander’s face.

The Willow’s were night and day, so different in looks and choice in partner. True, both were lesbians, but unlike Tara, Reboot packed a punch. Reboot did have the same body type as Tara but four times the presence and mouth. He’d often teased Willow over the past four years, that she must have really been missing Spike’s mouth to date Reboot.

Even with their Spike back, he could sadly continue the joke. Poor Reboot was probably going mad with worry. However Xan knew she and everyone else would follow his orders to stay put and not follow them out. He figured he had two days before his troops would ignore his word and go out looking for them.

A good leader knew his troops.

Even looking so different, the Willow’s, both being more heart than anything else, immediately liked each other. Unlike his thoughts towards his own counterpart the Will’s looked to be really hitting it off.

Deeming it safe enough, Xan nodded towards his G, who was talking to his own counterpart, which oddly enough there was, besides clothing choice and a few missed matched scars, very little difference. His G nodded back, signaling he’d keep watch and Xan shut his eyes.


	3. Reckless in the pursuit

Part 3

The door pulled Xan out of his light doze. He’d become far to use to having his guard up to let it go while asleep even in a ‘peaceful’ universe. He’d heard his own counterpart leave with his girlfriend about an hour ago and the numerous conversations that went around him before and since then.

The door only pulled him completely up because he didn’t know who was entering. Retaining his relaxed position, he glanced from under his lids and watched Queen C bounce in. Knowing this meant she had seen the vampires, Xander sat up and fully opened his eyes. He thanked Giles for the coffee cup he was handed while Queen C made her way to him.

Queen C paused to kiss her G and pulled him along with her towards him and the table. Like himself and G, Queen thankfully grabbed a cup of coffee, before sitting on G’s lap next to Xan at the table.

Coffee was the blood of the resistance and living on it for so long, a ‘thank you’, didn’t cover the comfort that came from drinking the black stuff. Besides it was a better tasting stuff than Reboot had ever made.

Giles sat next to them and Xan guessed it was because Giles had enough of trying to make the Wesley’s get along. He’d heard his Wes singe his counterpart about 20 minutes ago. Xan threw a glance that way. He saw his Wes, completely unrepentant, and his sweater-wearing counterpart busy staying far away.

He didn’t give Queen the chance to enjoy her coffee. “What’s the sit, C?”

“We found them.” Her face was alight with glee. It had been awhile since Xan had seen Queen this happy about anything, other than some sweet thing G had done. “God Xan. They’re exactly like I remember them being, but without all the kissy luvy stuff. I mean Spike, before you know, and he was all Spike and Angel was as stoic as ever and they,” G held her close as her voice broke and she buried herself into his arms.

No one, besides Spike, once his Spike found of course, could be upset as Wes had been about Angel’s disappearance, but Queen was a close third.

When Spike had been caught it had been a heavy blow and Angel had been an unholy rack of pain and anguish. Everyone was so busy trying to easy Angel’s pain no one had time to really feel pain about the blond vampire. Then, when Angel disappeared, the grief was unbearable.

Several times he had to stop Wes from a suicide mission just looking for answers and his death. Queen C was too strong for that but she suffered. Pain from Spike’s capture and Angel’s disappearance had nearly taken the heads of the resistance to their knees.   
Queen C, G, Will, Wes, and even he were guilty of being reckless in their pursuit of the vampires. Once Spike had been found, they would take no one but themselves on the suicide run. He knew they did it as much for themselves as for Angel, wherever he was.

Having Spike back in their number, sitting at the leader’s table again was going to do a lot for the morale of the troops. He was just going to have to make sure none of them got close enough to see the terrible changes in the vampire. Then again, no matter what his Spike did now it would be blamed on the grief for his Angel.

Queen C was putting herself back together and Giles handed her a tissue. Xan had forgotten how useful the man had been. Or maybe, he hadn’t wanted to remember. It had been a long time since he had thought of Giles or his slayer. Some things just weren’t dwelled on.

Buffy came through the door and on her tail was a sight he thought never to see again, Angel.

Xan fully understood Queen’s breakdown. He had the long leather coat and the walk. His hair was short where their Angel had worn his long. But it was Angel and man was he a sight for sore eyes.

This universe’s Cordelia met him at the door and whispered to him. Buffy walked over to the table and stopped next to Xan, glancing again at the sleeping vampire next to him. The vampire hadn’t moved once since falling asleep. Xan didn’t know whether to be jealous that anyone of their number could sleep so well, or upset that the vampire just didn’t care anymore.

Though no one else had, Buffy kept her voice low, like she was afraid to wake the blond. “I spoke to him and told him everything and it’s a go. Angel said he would be nice but I told him not to over do it, so your Spike wouldn’t be upset. Oh yeah, I want to state for the record. I like your Spike better than ours. You can take both back with you when you go.”

“Thanks Buffy for talking to him and that won’t be necessary. One Spike is enough for any universe. Where is yours anyway?”

“Please don’t refer to him as my Spike. It makes me a little sick, but he’s outside finishing his cigarette.” Buffy rolled her eyes.

Buffy refused any coffee but sat at the table across from Xan, giving Queen C and G the eye. Xan pushed past Buffy thoughts from his mind as Angel disengaged himself from Cordelia.

On his way to the table, Angel said hello to Wes. Then did a double take and looked between both Wesley’s. Angel’s Wesley nodded a greeting. The one in leather saluted him. Angel somewhat saluted back. Wes laughed at the attempt and reactivated his green ball to toss. Angel stared at Wes and the green ball before looking at to his Wesley, who just shrugged and went towards the coffeemaker, making sure to step clear of Wes and his glowing ball.

Xan wanted to stand to meet the man, but with the blond’s head still on his leg, he didn’t dare. Instead he took the vampire’s hand when it was offered.

“You must be the other Xander. I have to admit as far as doubles go you two look nothing alike.”

“I have better taste in clothes. Please call me Xan. I have to say Angel you’re a sight for sore eyes. One I’d never thought to see again.”

“I heard about it from Buffy and Queen C.” He nodded towards the red-eyed woman, who was looking up at him from G’s lap. “I just want to say how noble I think your battle is.”

“I don’t know about noble but it has to be done.” This man was so close to his own Angel. He didn’t blame G for staring or Wes for avoiding. Hell, Queen could barely look at him. Will just hummed softly, half-looking and half-pretending the vampire wasn’t there. Having none of options the others had to avoid this, he tried to keep his emotions from his face.

Angel looked around, before looking back down to Xan. “I can feel my childe outside, but I can feel yours too. Where is he?”

Xan raised his hand and pointed down to the other side of his chair. Angel wasted no time going around.

“Oh, Wil.” The dark vampire whispered, kneeing down. It was the whisper of a man who had just realized he’d found something he hadn’t known he’d lost.

Xan figured maybe their counterparts didn’t know the whole story about their vampires. With a past like theirs one just didn’t stop loving sometimes it just changed names and hid.

Buffy seemed shocked, was the girl foolish enough to think the vampires had no past? Angel was his Sire that had to mean something. Giles at least looked like he understood the situation, as did this universe’s Wesley. Cordelia had the same amount of disgust and shock as Buffy did, and his Queen C just started again to cry.

Both Gunn’s were not very emotional and ignored the emotional flow, and Wes. Wes just upped the power of his green light. Xan watched Wes look into its green deeps as if it might share the answers to all the madness with him. And with that thought Xan wondered if maybe he shouldn’t order Wes to stay away from his girlfriend for a little while. It was bad enough they were hardly ever apart but when Wes started acting like his girl, Drusilla. Xan had a right to worry.

Angel lifted the blond from the floor and Buffy was kind enough or in shock enough to move and let him have her seat.

Angel was in awe. This Spike looked like his used to, maybe a hundred years ago. He had no eyes for anyone or anything else.

Buffy mumbled something about keeping their Spike occupied outside for a few minutes and slid out the door. Xan had a feeling the emotions and love Angel was looking at the blond with had something to do with her decision.

Cordelia approached the table and with an odd look towards G and Queen C, she walked around to Angel’s side. She looked down with him for a few moments. “Angel what’s wrong, it’s just Spike? Well another one. You don’t even like your own.”

Angel didn’t even look up at her but answered all the same. “Cordy, you just have no idea. He’s my childe. I can be mad at him. I can be pissed as hell at him. On occasion, I may even threaten to kill him, but through all that he’s still my boy. I’ll always love him and when he hurts. I hurt.”

Xan was happy to know their universes weren’t so different that Angel would honestly hate his own childe. Cordelia tried again. “Angel, he’s impossible to love, no matter how cute he is.” Catching herself, she paused looking for the words.

“Yeah, I know. He tries to be, but I made him. I know what lies under all that brass and rudeness and it’s a very sweet, very lovable person.” Angel had yet to look her way.

Cordelia sensed nothing she could say would make a difference and so she returned her attention to Queen C, asking her if Macy’s had survived the new order.

Xan was the only one paying attention to the two vampires when Spike woke up. Xan almost reached for his own gun to put himself out of the misery he felt at seeing the hope in those sapphire eyes. He watched the blond lift his hand and touch older vampire’s hair.   
Then those un-souled eyes pierced the older vampire’s.

Xan waited for the outcome. He could hear the pauses in the other’s conversation as their attention had also turned the vampire’s way.

“You’re not my Sire. You belong to this universe.” Angel nodded solemnly, his throat too tight to answer. Spike lightly kissed Angel’s cheek, before pulling himself off the vampire and walking over to Xan.

Xan held his hand out and was, for some reason, so relieved when the blond took it. He signaled G and Queen C out of their seat, which they gladly did. G pushed the seat next to Xan and the blond sat, staring at the other vampire. He looked up to Xan and whispered. “I want to go home, now.”

“Soon.” Xan turned towards Angel, watching as the vampire’s fingers lightly brushed his check where the kiss had landed.

To Angel it felt so like a kiss of long ago. It was a reminder of times unforgettable, but best forgotten. Unshed tears filled his eyes. Angel got up from his seat and stumbled towards the back of the shop.

Cordelia looked around for a moment before following Angel into the back. Xan turned his attention towards the door as a blur of leather came tearing through. It stopped roughly a couple of feet from the door, Spike. The Spike he remembered from four long years ago, black duster, red shirt, black tee shirt, black jeans, hair messed and standing in angles, Doc Martins, and the ever present smirk.

“Oi Peaches, tell your slayer to stop hitting me.” Spike paused, realizing Angel wasn’t in the room to save him and called for back up. “Red, save me from the Slayer.”

Buffy chose that moment to slam into the room after him and throw to him into a wall, twice. With his hands full, coffee in one and the other holding his own Spike, Xan just didn’t have the time to signal the stand down.

Before anyone of this universe could fully comprehend the situation, Buffy was against the wall, held in place by a longhaired Willow. Buffy was looking straight into the one green and one gray eye of a killer. No one looked more surprised than the leather wearing Spike. Buffy struggled but there was no release from the implanted arm of Xan’s Willow.

Xan released both his coffee and his Spike in a hurry trying to reach the situation. He buzzed by Queen C and G as they joined him. Wes didn’t bother getting up. He just shrugged with a cruel smile.

Xan rushed to her side and grabbed the leather clad Spike, who was in too much shock to resist. “Release her Wills. They were playing. See he’s fine.” Xander turned towards the vampire. “Tell her you’re fine, now.”

“Hey Red, I’m fine. Let her go, okay.”

Willow ignored them all. “You.” She hissed into Buffy’s face, slamming her head once solidly against the wall. “Will not touch him. If you do while I’m here. I will kill you myself. Do” slam “you” slam “understand?”

“Yes.” Buffy’s voice sounded ragged and when Willow let her go she slid to the floor. Willow turned away from her and patted the leather clad Spike on the cheek as she past. She went back to her conversation with the other Willow without as much as a pause.

Xan helped Buffy off the floor. “I’m sorry. Wills has always been a little overprotective of Spike and when she saw you hurting him. He asked for Red to help and instinct took over. I’ll make sure she doesn’t kill you.”

Buffy looked a little dazed but accepted his apology. “Yeah, I understand. It’s alright.” Once Xan was sure Buffy could stand on her own he walked back to the table.

He heard his Wes behind him. “You’re lucky Red got there first, slayer.”

Without looking behind him, Xan called out. “Wes, no ones hurting anyone here.” He turned, as he was tapped on his shoulder to see Spike following him. “So you’re the blokes from the other side of the mirror?”

“That would be us.” Xander was amazed. He could tell no difference between this Spike and the one from four years ago his world.

Then again, his Spike would have never called for Red to save him in a play fight. His Spike knew how so called ‘Red’ would react. Their Spike would also never look so surprised that they would protect him. Well four years ago he wouldn’t have, who knew now.

Spike looked like he was going to comment when he stopped cold. Xan looked ahead, the other Spike, his, was standing. Xan stepped back as they circled each other.

The leather clad one spoke up first. “What the hell have you done with my look? ‘Hate to tell you this, but white is not a good color on me.”

His Spike almost smirked and Xan silently cheered. “Least I’m not chipped, mate.”

Xan dropped his smile, shit! They looked fit to kill each other. The leather-clad vampire slid into game face, as did his. Everyone, including Buffy, backed up. He knew his people didn’t know what to do and the counterparts looked unwilling to interfere.

Xan was about ready to try to separate them himself when a breeze pushed past him. Angel stood between the two Spikes. One hand wrapped into a white shirt and the other a leather duster. He shook them both once and lifted till their feet dangled off the floor. “I give you both to the count of one to get rid of those teeth.” Both dropped the game face fast. “Now lads, either one of you want to explain this to me?”

“He started it, Sire.”

“Did not. Peaches put me down.”

Both blond vampires squirmed in Angel’s grasp. He didn’t let either go. Instead he turned towards the back, where Cordelia still stood. Angel walked past her and into the room, as he called out. “I think me and my lads here are going to have us a little chat. Please avoid the back.” The door slammed shut a second later.

Buffy turned towards Xan with a slight pout on her face. “Why didn’t your Willow and Wes try to stop Angel from abusing them?”

Xan looked at her like she was crazy.

Will answered, from where she had stayed seated, during the whole event. “Slayer, no one gets between a pissed off Sire and his brats. He would’ve torn apart any of us that tried to intervene. And then both Spikes would’ve been pissed as hell at us for going after Daddy.”

Buffy had her doubts about this logic. However she wasn’t prepared to argue the point, having no weapons handy, so she let it go. It was enough for Buffy to know both Spikes were currently getting their asses kicked.

Xan was hoping the opposite. He hoped Angel was being very careful.


	4. Too many landmines

Part 4

Angel had no idea of what to say. All he did know was that he couldn’t very well have them going at each other’s throats. He dropped them both and shut the door with his foot. He resigned himself to the glares he received from both sets of cold blue eyes. Angel knew he had messed up. He’d embarrassed them in front of everyone and neither looked ready to forgive him. He hadn’t lied to Cordelia. He knew Spike very well and he knew the fighting was an outlet for something else.

Angel opened his mouth to tell them both that they’d be the death of him. Then realized how that would sound later, to the other universe’s Spike when he found out about his Angel. He closed his mouth and cursed himself for getting into this predicament. This conversation was filled with too many landmines. Instead he tried again to get to the bottom of the mess with as little mess as necessary. “Well what was that all about?”

His Spike sneered at him. “I don’t know Peaches. You’re the private detective, why don’t you tell us?”

The other Spike turned towards his double. “He’s a private detective?”

“Yep and a bad one too. Can you see the big lug crawling through the bloody bushes to snap pictures of a cheating bit?” The blond started laughing.

The other universe’s Spike looked him over. “Na, he wouldn’t go into the bushes. Think of his hair. Not to mention his big ass feet.” Then re-joined his double’s laughter.

Angel sighed. The one thing they had to agree on was that their Sire was a loser. He waited them out. He tapped his foot against the floor and did not dignifying any comment they made about him with an answer.

Angel had to wait for about 10 minutes. They insulted his hair, long or short, his feet, his soul and whatever odd bit they could come up with. Angel released his anger into his fists, tightening and releasing. He was not going to blow up at them. No matter how hard they tried to deflect the conversation from themselves.

Nothing like sire bashing to bring people together, Angel mused. To bad it wasn’t going to work. He was not going to let himself get mad enough to leave them alone. Soon there was nothing left just two blonds sitting on the floor and the odd hiccup.

“Are you two quite done?” They looked up at him from the floor and Angel had that feeling in his gut. The bad feeling, the feeling that said, ‘nice view, great positioning’ he pushed it far, far away.

“Nope Peaches. I was just about to tell him about the time you told the demon you were fighting to ‘hold up’, so you could take off your coat and check your hair.” The leather- clad blond smirked, trying to pull his cigarettes out, while still chuckling.

“That’s nothing.” The other replied, holding his hand out for a cigarette, which amazingly enough the other gave him without argument. “My Sire once held up an attack so he could pick out which black shirt would be right for the occasion.”

Angel felt as bad for the other Angel as he did for himself, well no, he felt worse for himself. He was the one standing here listening to this. “Look, I was fighting a shame demon. You know that doesn’t come out of leather and I didn’t ask it to wait. I needed that mirror to defeat it.”

Both gave him the same ‘uh huh’ look that Cordelia had given him at the time. He was not going to do this. He was not going to defend himself against his own brat and his double. He was the Sire here for Christ sakes.

“Enough.” Angel guessed he’d put out a little too much anger and perhaps channeled just a tad too much Angelus. Both froze, stood up, and cautiously moved just a little further away from him. He didn’t have to see either set of blue eyes to know there was fear there, damn landmines.

He released another sigh. Only his childe could get him to breathe and in this case, he was breathing double time. He tried again in a more ‘Angel’ like tone. “You both agree. I’m a terrible Sire. Alright?” The leather-clad Spike paid him no attention but other shook his head no.

Ever since Angel had carried them in here, he’d wanted to ask a question. Knowing he wouldn’t get an honest answer if he asked, he waited till they had put the cigarettes out on the floor. Boy that was going to piss Buffy off. Angel then put his question into an action, a theory in process.

Angel moved easily, grabbing the leather duster of his Spike and throwing him into the other. Both crashed to the floor. He didn’t wait for them to sort themselves out. He turned away and towards the door. There was only one reason he could have ever gotten away with that maneuver.

After that stunt he was wary of turning his back on either Spike, so he opened the door a crack and with his back facing it, called out. “Cordelia.”

He realized when his Cordelia appeared that it could’ve easily been the other. He reminded himself to make the distinction when calling for anyone next time. “Cordelia, grab that cooler we brought for me, heat it up and bring it back here. Please.”

Angel watched the two untangle from each other with a lot of cursing and graceful movements. Again he had to push that feeling down. Maybe he could push it as far as his toes and it would leave him alone, but he doubted it.

Cordelia nodded with an eye-roll. “Okay, the whole thing? They piss you off that bad?” Angel decided the unholy terrors weren’t going to come after him with anything wood. Like they were in any condition to do anything? Instead they sat on the floor, again with the glares. Oh well, he was the Sire. They could be pissed at him but they were going to listen.

“Yes the whole thing and no they haven’t pissed me off that bad. They’re starving to death.” He wasn’t explaining that to Cordelia. He was explaining that to the two blonds. He wasn’t dense enough not to notice. Oddly enough both quickly found something else to glare at other than him.

“Oh, I’ll be right back.”

He shut the door as he heard her heals click away. Both Spikes started to say something and both didn’t. Angel held up his hand. He didn’t want to hear it. He knew the excuses they’d give. He also knew the real reasons.

His Spike really didn’t have any way to get blood, except from Giles and Willy’s. Giles had told Angel earlier, just after they had arrived, he hadn’t had enough money recently to buy more than very little. Angel also knew something the watcher didn’t. Spike couldn’t go to Willy’s anymore. Not without getting beaten up for working with the slayer.

As for the double, Angel was pretty sure any incarnation of Wolfram & Hart wouldn’t feed a vampire anymore than they needed to. They wouldn’t want him at full strength.

Being as neither was rolling around the floor with hunger Angel figured both situations had been going on for long enough that their bodies had gotten use to the abuse. And they said he sucked as a detective. Actually he might, but he knew his childe and neither one would have admitted it.

He’d known when he’d lifted them. They hadn’t weighed anything and he may have forgotten a lot of things. Like most of the 20th century, but he remembered that his boy had never been that light.

He pulled out a foldout chair and sat down. He wanted to cross his arms but he recalled Cordelia telling him that crossing his arms made him look cut off and condemning. She meant it would scare off customers but Angel figured it would be the wrong message here as well. Yes, he was mad, but he really couldn’t blame them. For once something wasn’t Spike’s fault.

Angel realized he’d been yelling at his Spike for so long now that he really didn’t have anything to say and he knew he had to say something. Angel could read his boy, um boys, like a book and he really didn’t like where their thoughts had gone.

Angel was mentally begging Cordelia to just hurry up. Then he’d have an excuse to do something other than the staring he was currently doing but he couldn’t help it. They just had enough physical differences to tell them apart, but other than that, they were mirrors and the possibilities were endless.

No, there were no possibilities. He was not going to travel that road. What the hell was he doing in this room? One Spike had never been his responsibility and the other hadn’t been for a long time. That part was hushed down by the part that said this was Spike, which in any universe, was his childe and always his responsibility. Hell, who needed to talk, he had a whole conversation going on all by himself.

His Spike was playing with a lighter, a far off look in his eyes. Angel was going to ask him to quit. Spike with fire was making him a little nervous but the double yanked the lighter away.

“He”, the double nodded towards Angel, “gave you this, didn’t he?”

Angel took a closer look at the lighter in the double’s hand. God that had been forever ago but sure enough he remembered giving it to the boy. “My Angel gave me one too, but it’s long gone.”

The double tossed the lighter back. “The duster, was it from your 2nd slayer?” The double looked at his twin and Angel swore he saw a little jealousy when his Spike nodded that it was. “Bloody hell, I miss that coat.”

Angel knew what the other Spike had just gone through. After his conversation with Cordy, Queen C earlier, his Spike didn’t. Buffy had distracted the vampire from the finer points of the conversation.

Angel realized now that might have been a mistake. Without knowing, his Spike was going to ask a lot of questions, but since he was now being ignored Angel couldn’t find a way to deflect the questions. Angel figured this was about the time he should really go get some back up. Where was Cordelia? It wasn’t that much blood.

“What happened to yours?” The bleached version questioned.

“Wolfram & Hart.”

Angel noticed the fight seemed have gone out of them and this was turning into a civil conversation. Then he heard footsteps, damn now she comes, but the steps approaching where far too heavy and he got up from the chair. Neither blonde even looked at him as he went towards the door.

He opened the door before whoever it was got close enough. Neither of the Spikes were in good enough condition to have heard the approaching mortal yet but Angel wasn’t about ready to let this conversation be interrupted.   
Talking about Wolfram & Hart might do the other universe’s Spike good and who could you trust to talk too, like yourself?

An unapologetic, bearded Xan was the culprit. He handed over the cooler and loudly said. “There you go, all heated up.” Lower, he questioned. “Um, you haven’t done anything rash? I heard some noise from back here earlier.”

Angel caught the other’s eyes. He wasn’t accusing just concerned, very concerned. Angel stopped himself from growling mine, not only would it be stupid, he didn’t have the right. He held up a finger for the man to wait a moment and slipped back into the room.

Angel was still being ignored and he wasn’t sure for which crime. He’d already embarrassed them and thrown them around. They were still going over the great importance of the leather duster. He set the cooler down on the floor between them.

“Here, don’t make yourselves sick,” neither one made a move towards the cooler. He opened it and took two warmed bags out and threw one to each blond. “I said eat, now.”

Satisfied that they were going to do as he said, demanded, whatever, and having dispensed all the fatherly advice he was going to give, Angel backed out of the room.

Xan had waited at the door. He gave Angel a curious glance when the vampire grabbed his arm. Loudly, Angel pronounced. “Yeah, I’d love to show you around. Why don’t we take a walk?”

Xan played along and let Angel drag him towards the door. Xan was able to call out and order to his people to remain here and behave, before he was outside with Angel.

Xan dropped the act and pulled his arm back. “What are you up to vamp?”

Angel signaled Xan to follow him around the building. “I left them talking about Wolfram & Hart. I thought maybe you’d like to hear how that goes down?”

“Are you suggesting we invade their privacy and listen to their conversation?” Xan stopped, making no move to follow the vampire.

Angel stopped, feeling a little guiltily, “I thought you might like to know,”

“Cause if you are, I’ll lead the way.” Xan passed by the vampire and walked towards the back of the store. Angel shook his head and followed.


	5. Just take mine, please

Part 5

Spike used his teeth to rip into the bag and when the smell of pig’s blood didn’t assault him, he brought the bag closer. “Damn, I didn’t even think Peaches remembered he could have human blood.”

“Hey I’ll take anything that isn’t drugged.” The other blonde ripped into his own bag and for a few moments they were silent.

Between bags, the bleached blonde asked. “They drugged your blood?”

“Yeah, to keep me from acting up. They said I was to hyper.” He laughed a little bitterly.

“Giles does that every once and while. When there’s nothing going on and Buffy bitches about me acting up. He thinks I can’t tell.” The leather-clad blonde shrugged.

“Better than starving right? And sometimes it’s better than being completely awake in room you can’t leave.” The double pushed his bangs from his face.

“Yeah, I know the feeling. Ever been chained up in a bathtub? I guess they happened to your hair too?” Spike raised a hand to his own shorter, bleached hair.

“Do you think I’d do this to myself? I am fully aware of how I look.” He yanked said hair in his hands.

“Want me to cut it off for ya? Got a knife round here some-where’s.” He started pulling things out of the duster’s pocket.

“No way. I wouldn’t trust me to cut anyone’s hair. ” The blonde grabbed another two bags, offering one to the other.

“Oh yeah, right mate.” He stopped digging through the duster.

“I really do miss that coat. Don’t suppose you’d let me.” The double reached his hands out.

“You can’t keep it.” Spike shrugged out of the coat and leaned over the cooler, to hand it to his counterpart. Who threw it on like an old skin and settled back down.

“I miss the docs too.”

“Forget it, mate.”

The now leather-clad blond shrugged. “Can’t blame me for trying.”

“Those lawyers take the docs too?”   
“If you didn’t notice mate. I don’t have any shoes.”

“Yeah kind a noticed that before, when Angel had us dangling. Slayers never going to let me live that down.”

“I’m pretty sure Wes is going to make sure I remember and when he tells Dru,”

“Your Wes talks to Dru.”

“My Wes is mated to Dru. Isn’t yours?”

“Nope. The Wesley here is pretty much scared of her and everything else, a real poof. My Dru is somewhere causing trouble with Darla.”

“Our Darla’s dead.”

“Angel stake her?”

“Nope. Wolfram & Hart no longer needed her and put her out for a sunbath.”

“Then they did something right. Bloody hell, at least you don’t have a chip.”

“What does that thing do?” The longer haired blonde had to push his hair back again and tried not to sound too curious.

“Gives me a bleeding headache every time I try to feed or hit a human.” Spike looked at the bag in his lap with disgust.

“I had a collar that kinda did the same thing. If I attacked anyone they didn’t want me to it put me on the floor. Sucks, huh?”

“That’s not the half of it, but yeah. What did they do to you? Cause you look like a poof.”

“Thanks mate, needed to hear that. Not being able to see in a mirror and all that. You want to know what they did? They locked me in a room as a whore. So yeah, I look like a poof. I’m sure cause that’s what they wanted me to look like.”

“That’s rough. Sorry.”

“Did you just apologize to me? Don’t you dare pity me.”

“You don’t have the chip so fuck pity, but hey, you wanna fight about it?” The shorthaired Spike jumped to his feet.

The double put his hand into the duster and pulled out the cigarettes. He lit one and jumped to his feet. The first good meal he’d had in years ran wild through his system. The energy begged to be used. “Yeah, what if I do?”

“Then I say let’s go.” They were smart enough to move the cooler out of the way.

The place shook from the force of them tossing each other into walls. After Buffy opened the door wide enough to yell at them to knock it off, they stopped. Neither one wanted her to come into the room. Somewhere a long the line the double had taken off the leather duster. He reached for it now, pulling out two cigarettes and handed one to his other image. They sat, leaning against the wall and smoking.

“That was fun, haven’t been able to do that in years.”

“I get to fight demons and that’s about it. So where’s Peaches in your world?”

“When I was taken he was in the resistance with me. Be kind a hard if we were in two different places.”

“What would be hard?”

“You know, being together.” The alternate Spike thought perhaps the chip had damaged his counterpart.

The shorthaired blonde swung his head to his double. “Being together, as what?”

The double took his shock to mean this Spike wasn’t involved with his Angel. But he’d woken up in his sire’s arms or this other Spike’s Angel and he wasn’t mistaken about what he’d seen in Angel’s eyes, well oops. “I guess you guys aren’t lovers then?”

“Peaches and me, hell no! He hates me.”

The double opened his mouth to correct him but something totally different came out. “My Angel. My sire’s dead.”

For the second time his twin looked at him in shock. “What do you mean dead? Peaches? Are you sure? Nothing can take him out.”

“The first year Wolfram & Hart had me I was sitting around one night, just bothering the cleaning lady, the next thing I knew I was on the floor. I could hear him in my head. He said goodbye and then he was gone. Felt like someone ripped me heart out. I know he’s dead and no one wants to tell me.”

“You gotta be wrong mate. Angel just doesn’t die. He outlives everything.”

The longer haired blond wrapped himself in the duster, tears running down his face. “I’m not wrong. I felt my sire. My da’s gone.”

Spike didn’t know what the hell to do. He hated it when people cried. So he did the only thing he could think of, he gave him a hug. He could feel the tears hitting the side of his neck, felt the pain, but he still didn’t believe it. Peaches was unstoppable. He knew he had forever to make up with his sire, didn’t he?

He couldn’t imagine not having Angel around. The bloke always showed up, but he hadn’t shown up after the chip, had he? Nope. Maybe if he hadn’t had Angel tortured only a few days earlier he would’ve come. Didn’t matter his Angel hated him. Besides he didn’t need the wanker anyway.

He made a mental note not to cry in front of anyone, ever. It made him look just pitiful. He could always use it as a last resort, perhaps to get someone to cave in. Then again, who did he have to make cave in? No one. As far as pity parties went this was ridiculous. Spike said the only thing he could think of to make it better. “You can have mine.”

By this time the double had pulled himself together and pushed away from his twin, roughly rubbing the tearstains from his face. In the last few years that leather duster had wiped a lot of tears away. “Yeah right, mate.” He jumped up to get the cooler. The blood was still warm enough to get down. He grabbed himself a bag, and looking back at his shorthaired double, he grabbed another.

“Yeah. Go ahead take the wanker. He’s nothing but a pain to me.” This world’s Spike sounded completely sure this was the answer to both their problems.

The blond wandered back over with a devilish look. Anyone that knew Spike would’ve known this look meant trouble. Except for the one person who’d never had that look thrown at him, himself. He handed one of the bags to the shorthaired version. “You might have something there pet. I mean, we are at war and Angel would be far more useful to us. Red could send him back, if he ever wanted to come back. We might have to bring that up to him.”

“We could pet, but he’s got this thing with the wankers-that-be. He couldn’t just off and leave them.”

The long hair version smiled, ‘got ya’. Then proceeded to reel him in. “I don’t know about that. They might be able to let him go, for a worthy cause.” His own Sire, lover, hell his everything might be gone now but if he could get these two together. Then somewhere they would be together and all wasn’t really lost. Damn, he really was love’s bitch and pathetic. Neither revelation stopped him from carrying on. “Queen C, I mean Cordelia, could live a lot easier without those visions I heard her carrying on about earlier. The wankers-that-be could find another white knight. You’ve got quite a plan there, mate.” The double wondered if he’d ever been that exact color of white before. He looked about ready to be sick.

“Try it and I’ll take your bloody head off.” Spike seemed to realize what he’d just admitted and dropped his head.

“Yeah, I figured you might say that. I’m you- remember? I know how you feel about him.”

“Just don’t go yelling it about.”

“I won’t. Just let him know before it’s too late.”

“I will.”

Having settled that and both losing interest in the serious conversation, Spike looked over his double’s white clothes. “You know mate. I have some better clothes at the crypt. You know, darker. White really isn’t a good look.”

“Crypt, you live in a crypt? Hell sounds good to me. Can’t say I’ll miss the innocent virgin look.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything.”

“You don’t have to besides white doesn’t hold fond memories for me.”

The shorthaired version summed it up. “Angelus.” Both cringed at the memory.

“Angel wouldn’t treat you that way. I mean he does get pissed, but it wouldn’t be like that.”

“I figured. He’d feel too guilty about it. So you want to go get those clothes?”


	6. No time for love

Part 6

“Come on.” The vampire grabbed Xan’s arm. “They would’ve felt me during their whole conversation. So if I’m not inside and everyone tells them we went for a walk.”

“Then they’ll know we were out here.” The vampire nodded and Xan turned from the door.

The vampire and the warrior moved fast, wanting to get into the magic shop, before the gruesome twosome emerged from the back. Xan wasn’t running, but it was close and only his thoughts were moving faster.

His Spike knew what the rest of them had only guessed at. Angel, their Angel was dead. God, who was going to tell Wes? He hadn’t even taken time to break the news to himself yet.

Angel moved next to him, seemly unaffected by what they had so innocently overheard. Xan knew better. The vampire was shaken if not stirred and Xan knew it wasn’t hearing of his double demise that had done the damage.

They slowed at the door. Neither was out of breath but they smoothed over their hair. Giving each other a nod, they walked back into the magic shop. Xan didn’t see either Spike so he assumed they’d beaten them into the room. He nodded to his people, letting them know everything was okay. He gave Wes a glare. He had no idea what had been going on since he’d left, but Wes was giving off guilty waves.

Ignoring the smirking Wes, he turned his attention to the rest of the room. The Willow’s, Giles, the more ‘mature’ version of Wesley, and Buffy were at the table. He didn’t see Cordelia, but Queen and the two Gunn’s were talking quietly by the couch.

He followed Angel to the table. Giles pulled himself away from the conversation to watch them. “Um, yes Xan. We’ve been discussing your situation and there’s a slight problem.”

Xan frowned. He didn’t do problems. “And what would that be?”

Giles coughed and rubbed his glasses. Xan remembered that was not a good sign. “It seems when you came through the portal. It wasn’t exactly stable and you knocked it out of alignment. Which could be due too several factors,”

Xan turned from the watcher to his Willow. “Wills, what’s the sit?”

“I knocked the universes out of line. We’re stuck here for about four or five days while it sorts it self out. We’ve got two hours till sunlight and no where to put a vampire.” Xan smiled. Now that was the kind of answer he could work with. Will was always so straight forward and to the point. To fix a problem he didn’t have all day to hear about it. From the strange looks this universe’s counterparts were giving his Will, he figured maybe theirs wasn’t so forward.

“I don’t see Cordelia?”

Still staring at her counterpart, the shorthaired Willow spoke up. “She’s staying with her parents. Since they got back to being friendly and Cordelia isn’t mad at them anymore for being broke. She thought it would be best if she got back before daylight. So they wouldn’t be worried and call the police or something. She said she’ll meet back here with everyone tonight.”

Xan nodded several times as the witch spoke, but the woman had continued. Nope, maybe forward wasn’t the word, this redhead was plenty forward. Lord if his Willow talked like that they’d still be in the foxhole from 3 months back. “Thank you, Willow.” She had the same smile though and Xan couldn’t help but smile back. “Then we have to get us a place somewhere.”

Angel spoke up from Xan’s shoulder and he turned to look at the vampire. Yep there was some definite thinking going on beneath that calm. “Perhaps I could help. I have a suite at a hotel. Wesley was staying with Giles and Gunn has his own suite.” At everyone’s look the vampire sighed. “Yes, it was a company write off. There are two rooms in every suite. Queen C and ah, G could share one and Wes could share with Gunn. Xan, you could share with me and the Spikes could have the other room.”

The shorthaired Willow giggled. “Yay!” She grabbed her double’s hand. “You could stay with Tara and me. We’d love to have you.” Tara nodded as well, adding her agreement, and Xan figured out why Tara was so quiet.

His Will looked up at him. She wanted to go. He could see it but not without his say so. She’d go where the team needed her to be. He smiled at her. “Permission granted, Wills.”

Both Willows smiled at him and he felt like he was caught in the sun. Blinking, he turned away. Whatever happiness they could grab in the next couple of days he wasn’t going to hinder. Returning to the real world was going to be painful enough.

Gunn, of this universe, jumped up. “Look, I’ve got nothin’ against letting Queen and G have a room, but I ain’t gonna let psycho-Wes sleep in my room, armed with that green thingy.” The psycho Wes in question snarled and sent a green tentacle across the room. Xan snapped his fingers and the tentacle was gone, but the snarl remained.

Angel wide-eyed stared, now unsure about the arrangements and he turned to Xan for backup. “Perhaps Wes could stay with his counterpart and Giles.”

At this announcement the two English occupants at the table jumped in.

“I’ve had quite enough of my counterpart. Thank you.” Wesley was barely able to put down his distaste.

“Yes, I quite agree with Wesley. I don’t believe neither he nor I are equipped to handle him.” Giles was rubbing a hole through those glasses.

They didn’t have to worry. Xan understood. His Wes was a handful at the best of times. “Wes, get over here.”

The leather-clad, ex-watcher pulled himself up from the chair he’d been lounging in. “Yeah, Xan.” He stopped in front of Xan and the vampire.

“You will behave wherever we put you. No magic and no weapons period. Unless they are called for and that is only if anyone here is in danger and not towards any of them. This will remain in affect until I say otherwise. Is that clear?”

Wes stared, his eyes widening, the green ball fading away to complete nothing for the first time. He knew he’d pissed Xan off. Xan never told him no weapons and no magic. “I’m sorry. Xan please. I mean-you can’t- I never,”

Xan felt his point was made. “Don’t tell me. Tell these nice people to whom you have done nothing but piss off since they laid eyes on you.”

Wes turned from Xan to the room. “I’m sorry. I’ve been a pain and I won’t do it anymore.”

He turned back to Xan, his eyes pleading. Xan looked down to the very small green light growing between Wes’ fingers. “Turn it off, Wes.”

Xan could see the unshed tears begin to bloom. Wes didn’t do well with all his defenses taken away. Yet Xan needed to show these people he could control his troops and Wes had been pushing them since their arrival.

“But Xan,” The voice wasn’t cocky anymore. It was childish and pleading.

“Do you understand the order?” If Xan showed weakness now then Wes would never learn and he’d never be able to put him anywhere.

“Yes Xan.” The green light faded from between Wes’ fingers and he waited until Xan nodded, before sulking back to his chair. He twisted away from everyone, folding his arms on the arm of the chair and rested his head on them and was quiet.

He heard Giles speak to his Willow in a hushed tone. “I thought you all were the leaders of the resistance, why does everyone listen to Xan?”

“Oh we are, but Xan’s like the leader of the leaders. He and Angel used to co-lead, but well, it’s just Xan now.”

Xan, sure Wes was going to be much more subdued for the time being, turned back to the table. He ignored both Giles’ question and Will’s answer. He didn’t want to get into the workings of the organization with anyone. No matter who they were or what universe they were in. “He’ll behave now Giles. Do you think you can handle it?”

Angel was rather jealous. He could never get his Wesley to do what he wanted.

“Yes, well he’s behaving now. What about after you leave? Then he’ll be terrorizing us again in no time.” As promised Angel’s own Wesley questioned Xan’s leadership.

Xan was about ready to put another Wesley in his place when Will quietly added her knowledge, cutting Xan off from saying anything rude. “Wes never disobeys an order from Xan. It used to be only Angel that could get him to listen, but now he’d do anything Xan asks. You don’t have to worry once Xan’s said the word that’s it.”

Giles looked up. “I’m quite impressed by the training you’ve put into your troops, Xan.”

Xan was tired. No that wasn’t the word he was weary. He took the cup of coffee Queen had gotten him and glanced down at the man looking up to him from the table. “G, Queen, Willow, Reboot, and god knows how many troops follow me because they believe in what we’re fighting for, and for some strange reason, they believe in me.”

He closed his eyes briefly before continuing. “Spike and Wes follow me because Angel said so and for no other reason. The only reason Wes listens to a word I say is because Angel’s last order to him was to follow what I said, to the letter. He’ll do that, until he’s either dead or our Angel tells him otherwise. Neither Angel nor I taught him to follow orders like that. Lindsey McDonald did, until Angel gave Lindsey a new job.”

Giles wasn’t sure he wanted to know anymore and Wesley looked down right ill at the prospect and mention of Lindsey’s name. “What job did Angel give Lindsey?”

“The only one fitting for his crimes, feeding the worms. Now can Wes stay here? I’m sure he won’t be causing you any problems.” Xan put his mug down, and not for the first time, looked towards the back. Where the hell were the blond menaces?

When Xan looked back to the table Giles had a thoughtful expression. “Yes, of course he may stay. Now that all the problems are settled.”

Wesley still looked unsure and liable to add more, but Angel cut him off by seizing the chance to step on his foot.

The vampire smiled at the pain the ex-watcher bit down on and shrugged when Wesley shot him a look. Instead Angel turned towards Xan. “Well that settles that. We better grab the,”

Xan turned away as the vampire’s words fell off. Angel picked up his sentence but Xan was no longer paying any attention. This universe’s Spike was still not wearing his duster and it looked odd on his Spike with the white clothing.

Both were way too into each other and their conversation to notice anyone staring. Xan knew he wasn’t the only one looking and he prayed, for their sakes, it wasn’t for the same reason he and Angel were looking.

Damn, Xan had missed Spike. It was a love-hate relationship. You wanted to kill him then you wanted to love the hell out of him. Until now Xan hadn’t remembered how much he wanted to do the loving the hell out of the blond.

No. It wasn’t right to think like that. Unfairly, in either universe, they belonged to Angel. One was just re-discovering it and the other was mourning Angel’s death. How could he betray his friend by thinking like this? He was the head of an army, on the losing side of a war. He didn’t have time for love. His life wasn’t his own, but then what the hell was he fighting for?

Xan twisted his eyes away from the blondes heading towards him and Angel. Then twisted his whole body around when the blonds walked straight past them, still in conversation and heading towards the door.

Xan stopped himself from yelling out. The vampire next to him didn’t hold the same restraint. “Where the hell do you think you two are going?”

The Spike, without the duster, turned around. “We’re going to me crypt.”

Xan was about the only one to stay silent. Queen jumped up, as did both Willow’s and G. Xan put up a hand, his people fell silent and the rest followed. “I’m afraid not. I’ve spent four years of my life hunting, killing, and plotting to get you back. You’re not leaving my sight for a very long time.” Xan calmly explained.

“I just wanted to get some decent clothes.” Unlike the voice his Spike had used in the back this one was soft and relenting. Xan was almost surprised he didn’t add ‘master’ at the end.

The other blond was not so, un-Spike like. “So bloody what? He can go where he wants to and we want to go to the crypt.”

Xan was suddenly hit with the image of the Saint and the Demon. Then the Angel stepped in. “I have a suite fully loaded with alcohol, a radio, TV set, and the chance of shopping money for any blond vampires that do as they’re told for once.”  
One Spike looked to the other. The one with duster spoke first, while peeking between long, blond bangs. “You want him come too.” He nodded towards his counterpart.  
Angel nodded. “I want you both to stay at the suite, but I know better than to order either of you.”

“So instead you bribe them.” Wesley piped up from the table.

“Yes.” The dark vampire smiled broadly. He wasn’t ashamed. He knew how to work his childer.

The leather-clad blond leaned into the ear of his counterpart and whispered. The two blonds whispered between themselves. The shorthaired Spike of this world broke away first, smirking at his Sire. “So Peaches, what kind a money are we talking about?”

Xan paused at the door as he caught sight of Wes, still curled up in his chair. He looked behind him and outside, where the hotel party was waiting on him. “I’ll be right with you guys.” He waved them on and stepped back into the room.

With the hotel party waiting on him and everyone else already gone for the night, only Giles and Wesley remained. He walked towards the table, where they were still and drinking their tea. “Excuse me.” Both men paused and looked up at him.

“Yes Xan. I thought you were leaving?” Giles looked slightly confused.

Xan nodded. “I am. I just wanted to have a word first. About,” He nodded towards the chair and the silent lump it held.

“What about him? If what you said is true than we won’t have any problems with him.” Wesley said with distain.

Xan sighed, his Wes, much like Spike, often made a bad first impression. How did one tactfully explain this situation to a bitter counterpart and keep his temper. “No, you won’t have any problems with him blowing the place up. But that green ball is more than a weapon. It’s a security blanket and without it he feels defenseless. I have never forced him to turn it off. The only person to do that before now was that Lindsey bastard. So after I leave its going to be worse, but don’t worry. Just ignore him and go about your night.”

Xan turned to leave. Giles’ voice stopped him. “What do you mean, worse?”

Xan schooled his features from a ‘got ya’ smile into nonchalance as he turned. “Oh don’t worry. He’ll just grab a corner and cry. He’ll be quiet and don’t worry about the nightmares. He won’t sleep.”

Wesley glanced towards Giles, his face white. Giles coughed. “Um, well, I rather not have that. What can we do to avoid it?”  
“I could let him turn his little green light on.” He held up a hand to stop any issues before they started. “I assure you. He won’t use it for any other reason than to calm himself. Just show him to wherever you want him to sleep. Believe me he’ll stay anywhere you tell him as long as he’s left alone.”

“If you’re sure he won’t cause any damage with it. I don’t see any harm with allowing him to use it, Giles?” Wesley seemed to squirm with unease. Xan was sure his caused was helped by the fact Wesley knew his own version of Lindsey.

Giles nodded his head in agreement. “I’m sure it will be fine. Go right ahead and allow him that green thing.”

Xan nodded. “If you’re both sure?” They nodded and Xan turned from them and moved towards the chair.

He kneeled on the floor, putting himself level with Wes’ face, hidden within his arms. “Wes?”

Wes looked up with a tearstained face. “I’m so sorry Xan. I’ll be good. I really will.” The voice was plaintively begging.

Xan glanced towards the table and saw the plain sympathy for Wes there. Actually Giles looked sympatric. Wesley looked freaked out and a little ill. “I know you will. Now listen to Wesley and Giles okay. They’ll watch after you till I get back here tomorrow.” Wes nodded and Xan smiled. “Now you can use your magic. Just for ball and you cannot use ball as a weapon. Do you understand?”

Wes nodded rapidly, a grin breaking out as the green ball immediately spun to life. “I’ll behave Xan, you’ll see.” The ball barely missed Xan’s shoulder as Wes hugged him tightly. Wes quickly let him loose and turned all his attention to ball, talking to it softly.

Xan nodded and stood, ruffling Wes’ hair affectionately. “He’ll be okay now.”

“Yes, alright then. Goodnight Xan.” Giles nodded his way. Then busied himself cleaning around the table.

Xan glanced towards Wesley, who had mumbled something like goodnight, but was staring at his counterpart with horror.

Xan nodded and walked towards the door.

~Interlude~

Angel always booked and paid for the hotel rooms, so Wesley didn’t feel he had any right to ask for one. Angel just assumed he’d stay with Giles, so did Giles, which made it twice as difficult to ask not to. He thought it pretty much followed the trend that his counterpart got stuck at Giles’ house with him.

It wasn’t that he had anything against Giles.

Except he remembered that Giles had berated and under-minded him and he understood they had ‘moved’ past all of that but moved on or not, he never really felt comfortable at Giles’ house. He found himself trying to be the perfect guest, which meant he made sure not to drop anything and stayed up to talk about the mirrored universe. No matter how much he had rather gone to sleep.

After an hour more of quietly discussing and wondering over the mirrored universe, Giles finally stood and sighed as his back cracked. Wesley let the yawn he’d suppressed out and stretched without standing.

Giles blinked, trying to clear his vision. The mirror universe was absolutely fascinating and there were other theories he wanted to discuss, which would still be there tomorrow. It was late and Wesley looked near comatose. He glanced at Wes, who hadn’t moved from his newly claimed chair, quietly entranced by the green light dancing within his hands.

Giles took his time gathering the teacups as he compared the two Wesley’s. Physically Wes’ hair was longer, but both were lean and had the same wide ingenuous blue eyes. Beautiful, he rolled his neck. “Wesley,” the young man at the table looked to him, “would you be alright sharing with Wes? I could fix up the couch for him if you’d rather not?”

Wesley glanced over to the chair and rubbed his eyes under his glasses. “No, I’m sure we’ll be fine.” The first rule of being the perfect guest, never make a fuss, even if your host asks you to sleep next to a psychopath.

Giles nodded. He was happily relieved not to make up the couch considering the late hour. He gave up on the teacups and decided to leave them for the morning “Good enough.” He gestured towards Wesley. “You know where everything is.” He looked between the two. It was just astounding. “If either of you need anything don’t hesitate to call upon me. Goodnight Wesley, Wes.”

Wesley nodded slightly. “Goodnight Rupert.” Wes half-heartedly waved.

Wesley sighed as Giles’ footsteps faded up the stairs. He slumped into his chair, only to straighten in alarm when he remembered what Xan had said. Wes was to be shown a place to sleep and left alone. Would sharing a sleeping space somehow set the other off? He had no wish to feel the power of that green ball again. Perhaps he should make the couch up for himself.

He dropped his head and rubbed his eyes. Seconds later, he jumped with a hiss and twisted his head to look up. Only to see the face he’d seen in the mirror this morning, Wesley blinked and Wes pulled his hand back. Well it was nearly the face he’d seen this morning, he would never wear his hair that long.

“I’m tired.” His counterpart told him in soft tones.

Wesley nodded. He was tired as well. He really didn’t feel like making up the couch. The bed upstairs in Giles’ guest room sounded so much better and less taxing. “Will you be able to sleep next to me? I suppose asking not to be shocked by that,” he nodded toward the green ball, “would be too much to ask.”

Wes shrugged. “You’re me, just a little annoying. I doubt I’ll have too much trouble sleeping next to you. Unless,” he paused and tilted his head, “you don’t snore or grope people while asleep, do you?”

Wesley straightened. “I most certainly do not.” His eyes narrowed. “And I’m not annoying.”

Wes smirked. “Yes, you are, and you know it.”

Wesley sniffed and stood from his chair. “At least I’m not psychotic.” He turned from  
Wes and walked from the room. He mentally re-enforcing his shoulders as he heard Wes coming up behind him. Wesley led him in silence up the stairs and into the guestroom. His bag was where he’d left it. He flinched as he heard the door shut. He too had certain reservations about sharing a room with anyone. He spoke to his bag as he sorted through it. “I suppose you’ll have to borrow something of mine.”

“Unless you want me to sleep naked.” Wes said.

Wesley turned towards the figure leaning against the wall. “Must you?” He put his eyes back to his bag and quickly pulled out some cotton sleeping pants and tee shirt. “Here.” He tossed the articles. Wes easily caught them with one hand, skillfully avoiding the hand with the green light. “The restrooms behind that door.” He nodded towards the door.

Wesley took a breath of relief as soon as Wes was behind the bathroom door and quickly found his own nightclothes. He changed and then analyzed the bed. Perhaps if he was very careful he could avoid Wes all together. He lay down and studied what was left of the bed. The chance of avoidance was slim.

He took his glasses off, turned onto his side and tightly closed his eyes. He listened as Wes re-entered the room. Moments later the light snapped off and Wesley felt the weight join him in the bed. After several minutes in silence, Wesley began to relax.

“Aren’t you curious?” A soft whisper questioned and simultaneously retightened Wesley’s muscles.

Wesley rolled his eyes. “I don’t want to play mind games with you.”

“Not a mind game. I just thought you might be curious about what turned you into me.”

“You’re nothing like me.” Wesley hissed back.

“I was. I was once just like you.” Wes sighed and Wesley felt him turn and move closer.

Wesley groaned, rolled over to lie on his back and looked to Wes, whose face was eerily lit by the green light. “Fine, say what you have to say so I can sleep.”

Wes shrugged. “I know Xan said something about Lindsey. When Lindsey got a hold of me I was just like you. Repressed, ex-watcher, prissy, I could go on but we both know what I’m talking about.”

“I could argue a few points but I’d rather go to sleep some time tonight. What did Lindsey do to you? The Lindsey I know, while evil, would hardly be capable of making me into you.”

The green light brightened before dimming slightly and Wesley held his tongue. Wes moved closer and leaned into his ear. “Remember the things father did?”

Wesley cringed and backed away hissing. “Never ever speak of that. No one knows and if you tell anyone.”

Wes raised a hand. “I won’t tell. Believe me our secrets safe.”

“Our secret?”

Wes nodded. “Ours. Remember mine too.”

Wesley stared at his counterpart. “I’ve never had anyone to share that with.”

Wes shook his head. “Me either. It’s strange to think how much we have in common. That we really are the same person in a lot of ways.” Wesley thought about it for a moment and when Wes moved back, closer than before, Wesley didn’t move away.

Wesley was nearly asleep when Wes started softly speaking. “Lindsey was worse than father. If I didn’t listen it wasn’t a closet but small pitch-dark coffin. I didn’t know how much oxygen I had. I couldn’t move. Couldn’t see. Just feel the walls around me. He kept telling me that one time, if I was really bad, he was going to have me buried alive in there. Every time I had to go in there I never knew if that was the time he was going to have me buried or if he’d open the top in a couple of hours.”

Wesley shivered and began to shake at the idea of such a thing being done to him. He was terrified of small, dark places. The very thought that someone would torture him with that knowledge was more horrifying than any threat of physical violence. He thought he might have mumbled, “oh my god,” but wasn’t sure if he actually said it or if his thoughts were so frazzled that the phase just stuck in his head. He opened his eyes to look around the room, to make sure it was still there and the walls far away.

Wes hadn’t closed his eyes at all. He looked blankly at the wall, which was further than a hand span away. “Think of yourself. I think we can both admit we’re not exactly strong. More along the lines of spineless, so image how easily you would’ve broken. I broke. He wanted obedience. Think about how well you can do obedience. I gave it to him. When I was, quote ‘trained’. I finally figured out why he put all that effort into making me the perfect little fucking pet.” Wes’ voice trailed off.

Wesley heard Wes’ breathe hitch and could feel Wes shivering next to him. Wesley wanted to offer comfort. He knew he personally would never ask for affection but there were sometimes that he so very much wanted it, so he moved closer. There were several seconds when Wesley thought he might have made a mistake and Wes didn’t want to be touched at all. He was going to slide away when Wes’s legs intertwined with his, holding him close and Wes turned so they faced each other.

Wesley watched to make sure he was well away from the green ball of energy, which fluxed with Wes’ ragged breaths. He let Wes’ breathing settle closer to normal before he whispered. “What did he do?”

Wes’ breath hitched. “I was a gift. Lindsey presented me to the senior partner Ambrose as a present.”

Wesley closed his eyes and shivered. “A gift?”

“Yes. Ambrose said I was the best gift and that he’d treasure me always.” Wes grabbed his hand and Wesley jumped, expecting the shock of the green light, but Wes used the unoccupied hand. Wesley was thankful and warily of the other glowing hand even as he intensely listened.

Wes shook his head. “Oh god, you don’t want to know what that meant. He treasured me all right. The pain was unbelievable. If he’d been unhappy when he’d gotten me, if he hadn’t thought I was pretty he would’ve killed me that first day. Every day I was with him, I wish he had. I tried to make myself ugly. I cut up my face once but he just had me healed.” Wes stopped talking, shaking and mumbling, whimpering as silent tears trailed down his face.

Next to him, Wesley shook and tried to comfort his counterpart, but he didn’t know how. He wiped at the tears, uncomfortable with them and trying to erase them as they came.

Wes’ green light worked and twisted itself up Wes’ arm and over his hand. It came dangerously close to touching and Wesley yanked his arm back to avoid the touch.

Wes chuckled sadly. “You don’t have to worry. It won’t shock you.”

Wesley’s eyebrow rose, unwilling to test the theory, though he was thankful and glad for the change of topic. He quickly jumped on it. After all, he was curious. “Does it only shock those you want it to?”

Wes shook his head. “Nope, it shocks anyone that touches it, but me.”

Wesley rolled his eyes, but with more affection than he felt earlier. “Then what do you mean? I’d rather not have it shock me again, it’s quite painful.”

Wes smirked. “I had to make it shock you the first time. It didn’t want to. It actually gave me a little shock when I did it.”

Wesley still wasn’t exactly sure. There was only so far he was willing to go for curiosity sake. Instead he asked another question. “You said it didn’t want to shock me, are you suggesting it has a conscious?”

Wes sighed. “You know, we aren’t the real rebellious type, so they never took my voice. However they did threaten to have my voice box paralyzed for a while, if I didn’t learn to stop asking questions.”

Wesley didn’t know which part of that sentence to object to. The whole idea was just wrong. Now he had more questions but shook his head and focused. “Well do you think,”

Wes waved him off. “No, not really. It’s very hard to explain.” Wes shook his head and quickly reached out.

Wesley didn’t have time to jerk away before it was touching him. He braced himself for the shock and when it didn’t happen, he cracked open an eye then both and watched with wide-eyed rapture. The mystic green tentacles crawled up his hand and twisted around him with no pain. Wesley couldn’t explain it if he tried. No, it wasn’t separate but it was warm and loving, it had a soothing feel to it.

“See.” Wes whispered. “It’s comforting. To everyone else, in any universe, it’s a weapon of destruction. It will harm anyone who tries to touch it. To us though,” Wes sighed, “No one else will ever be able to understand.”

Wesley nodded. He couldn’t find the right words. It felt like what he thought love might feel like. The light started withdraw and Wesley whimpered, not wanting to let it go.

“If you let me tap your power I can pull yours up, as long as you’re in contact with mine it should help stabilize yours. It might even help you develop yours. Since you’ll be able to identify where it’s coming from and how it feels to use it.”

Wesley couldn’t nod fast enough. He didn’t want to lose this feeling so soon. “What do I do? Help me.”

“Relax. Let me do the work. Close your eyes, after feeling mine yours should be close to the surface.”

Wesley tried to relax. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths. Wes’ hand rested against his chest and Wesley opened his eyes. Wes smiled. “Shh, close your eyes and wait for it.”  
Wesley followed the soft orders and could feel Wes’ magic move through him. It wasn’t long before he felt something in him respond to the call.

It wasn’t anything he had felt before but it didn’t feel alien just dormant. Like it was waking from a long sleep, it stretched and yawned. From deep inside him it began to reach out, it warmed every nerve ending and vein as it spread. Addictive feelings of love, affection, happiness, and completeness flooded him with a double the strength of Wes’ and he thought that was because he was feelings it from the inside out.

“Do you feel it?”

Wesley nodded and croaked out. “Yes.” It seemed like a large ball of green energy lived inside him. How could he have lived all this time and never known? “How?”

“Don’t know. It just is. It’s ours.” Wes whispered.

Wesley felt the ball expand and mentally pictured its neon green tentacles running through him and concentrated on his hand.

“Wesley look.” Wes’ hand drifted to Wesley’s empty one and squeezed lightly.

Wesley opened his eyes and stared in wonder. The tentacles rose from his palm and connected to his five fingers. He opened and closed his hand and it remained. He had a sudden impulse to shoot it at something. He squashed the urge. It was simply the most positive and glorious feelings he’s ever felt. “Does it ever go away?” He asked worried that one day, once he had learned how to use this gift, it would be gone. He didn’t know if he could handle such a loss.

“You mean other than when I force it off? Only when I’m asleep or unconscious.”

Wesley nodded and pulled his other hand from Wes, making sure to keep contact and practiced passing the ball from one hand to the other.

“It won’t ever run out?” Mentally Wesley begged it would not.   
Wes smiled. He knew Wesley would love ball as much as he did. He was really enjoying being able to share it with someone that could understand. At least he was now that Wesley wasn’t being a jerk. “Short answer, nope.”

Wesley raised an eyebrow and looked to Wes. “And the long answer?”

“It absorbs small amounts of energy from the world. Very much like pjhan demons pull energy from the world around them and use it to create their acid spew.” At that moment he sounded every inch the ex-watcher he had once been.

“Everything is made of energy, so it steals from everything to remain constant.” Wesley half-pondered and half-asked.

“That’s what they figured.” Wes replied.

Wesley marveled in the feelings even as a disturbing thought came and wouldn’t let go. Finally he voiced it. “Its not something a human should have, is it?”

Wes sighed and the emerald lightening moved up his arms, caressed his face and wrapped around him. “Most likely no, but it chose us. It would never hurt us.”

The thought bothered Wesley. He started compiling a list of how such a thing could come to be. The worry started to mount and he felt the love and reassurance become more focused towards him. He felt and watched the energy twist up, it moved up around his face like a fleeting touch, soft whispers became more focused. It didn’t cloud his thoughts or try to change them, but he felt more reassured. He blinked and whispered. “Is it trying to reassure me?”

Wes nodded apprehensively. “But it doesn’t try to change our thoughts or anything. I don’t know if it has a ‘conscious’ per se, but it does it’s best to sooth. I’ve never heard like a voice or anything, just feelings. It gets angry when we’re attacked.”

“And we were born with this?” Wesley was still concerned but he really couldn’t imagine it was wrong, not really.

“Yes, it’s always been there.” Wes wanted Wesley to understand. It had saved him, mind and body, hundreds of times over and he didn’t want Wesley to become scared and not give it a chance. “Don’t be afraid of it.”

Wesley shook his head. He felt wonder and a little confusion but no fear. “I’m not.”

Wes smiled. “Good.” Wes got comfortable and made sure his legs remained intertwined with Wesley’s so they remained in contact, but Wesley had both his hands free to play with the energy.

Wesley was too busy experimenting to fall asleep, no matter how tired he was. Wes however drifted off and as he did his energy became less until it slipped into sleep with him. Once Wes’ energy glided away his became more sporadic. Wesley was able to keep his going, though weaker, until Wes moved away in his sleep. Even then it remained for several minutes before slipping beneath his skin. Still it wasn’t gone and didn’t go back to sleep. It was awake now and Wesley could feel it. It was still there, just beneath the surface and he knew in time he would learn how to pull it up by himself. But even if that took a long time he would never be truly alone ever again. The thought warmed his soul and with a peaceful smile he slipped off to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sex in this part S/S

Part 7

Xan tried his hardest not to laugh and encourage the two blonds, but it was damn hard.

They’d just separated from the two Gunns and Queen and from the smile the woman was giving. Xan was just thankful their suite was across the hall and not close enough to actually hear anything that might go on.

The whole car ride here, in the elevator, not even entering the suite had stopped the two blonds from commenting and making fun of their sire. Well this universe’s Spike commented his own just laughed and nodded the other on.

If it had been him, he would’ve felt honored both Spikes cared so much for him. Xan thought it was pretty obvious. The more they picked on you, the more they cared. But not Angel, Xan was no vampire but even he could feel the anger building and radiating off the older vampire.

Angel wondered what the hell he’d been thinking. He had wanted them here? Wasn’t he taking the redemption thing a little too far? But they had sounded so sweet, like William earlier. They cared about him, they’d admitted it, but Angel sure as hell wasn’t feeling it.

And what the hell was wrong with Xan? The man was smiling like this was the cutest thing he’d ever seen and he could read the jealousy directed at him. Right now Angel was tempted to just tell the other man he could have both blonds and he’d be in the other room.

Then his Spike stretched and Angel caught a glimpse of perfect skin between his shirt and dirty jeans. Angel could honestly say nothing had ever distracted him more than that flesh at that moment. He just couldn’t tear his eyes away. Then he realized the skin was gone and the lips were moving.

“What the hell is wrong with you Peaches? Aren’t you going to answer?”

“What?” Angel blinked. He turned and saw Xan was still in the haze and he could smell the man’s blooming lust.

“Where do you want us to sleep?” Spike cocked his head. What was wrong with these two? His counterpart nudged his arm and made a slight sniffing movement. Spike copied it and nearly fell over, lust and it wasn’t coming from either of them. Well now, he could work with this.

“You two stay in here, me and Xan will take the other room. No shoes on the bed, goodnight.” And that fast Angel grabbed Xan and went into the other room. Well, he could’ve worked with that.

The two blonds looked at each as fit of laughter over took them. The double removed the leather coat, tossing it to the floor and still chuckling, he winked at his counterpart. “What did I tell you?”

Not wanting to admit he was wrong, even to himself, he kicked off his boots. “So what? He wants to fuck us. That’s not saying a lot, hating me never stopped him from doing that before.”

“Uh huh. True enough. The mouth never really put anyone off, but there was more to that than lust.”

“Yeah, you’re right, there was. So how long has Xan been wanting to shag you?” Spike was thrilled at the shock on the other’s face. Ha- he hadn’t noticed. He didn’t concern himself that the other’s blindness to Xan meant he could be just as blind to Angel.

“What- he never,” The blond sat on the bed with a thump.

“Never what? Huh luv?” After the hell his counterpart had given him about Angel, this was well-deserved payment, with interest.

The other universe’s Spike stared into space. He was trying to remember before Wolfram & Hart. God, it seemed so long ago. Xan taking him hunting when Angel was too busy so he wouldn’t be alone. So someone could watch his back.

Xan, who was completely mortal and therefore could die, pushing him out of the way of oncoming bullets. Then shrugging when he yelled at the mortal. He remembered one time in particular. Xan’s arm bleeding from a bullet he’d taken for a vampire, for him. He’d yelled at Xan and Xan had looked straight at him and told him it was worth it. At the time he thought Xan had been taking leadership to the extreme.

“Oh god.” All the fights between Angel and Xan seemed to make a little more sense. At the time he couldn’t figure out why Xan would get so pissed at bruises and marks Angel would leave from rough sex. Never mentioning the marks Spike would leave on Angel.

Spike watched the double sitting on the bed. He seemed to be taking this rather badly. Somehow Spike didn’t think his double would see this as he did, this was a chance. He knew what it was to be alone, it hurt and it was lonely. He also knew it would prove the love’s bitch theory and yet he couldn’t leave, well himself, in the same hell he’d so recently been in. “Listen mate, I know you’ve been through a rough patch recently but just think about it. Xan-pet really seems to care. And being alone, just doesn’t work for us.” Spike looked at his double, who was seemly still in shock.

Shrugging, he walked around his counterpart and to the other side of the bed. He pulled off his shirts and put his hand on the buttons to his jeans. He glanced at the back of the blond head, which hadn’t moved.

Spike put his knee on the bed and reached across to his counterpart. Then tried not to flinch when the other jumped off the bed and whirled to face him. They stared at each other, the moments dragged on, until the longhaired blond gave a small apologetic smile. They undressed in silence.

After double-checking the black sheets on the window, the lights were turned off. The double realized there were slight changes between himself four years ago and his chipped counterpart. Himself, four years ago, would’ve never let anyone hold his hand to fall asleep. Then again, he reminded himself, he would’ve never held anyone’s hand four years ago. He was thankful for the change and curled up next to the soft skin of his counterpart and let himself be lulled to sleep.

The Dream Interlude~

He wasn’t scared when Wolfram & Hart caught him. He wasn’t scared during the torture they called interrogation. He wasn’t worried about anything he might say. Whenever one of the higher up got caught, Xan and Angel changed locations. Spike couldn’t tell them anything useful even if he wanted to.

Wolfram & Hart knew this as well and Spike figured they’d torture him for a while then stake him. End game. He’d known the rules before he joined and he was surreally ready. Now that he’d been caught, there wasn’t anything left to lose. He was free to just let things happen.

He would’ve bet Xan and Angel were seriously pissed off. He was sure they’d get some kind of revenge. He was rather pissed he wouldn’t be around to see what they did. He was positive it would be bloody.

Spike knew the score. The resistance couldn’t survive a head on attack with Wolfram & Hart and so there would be no rescue. Everyone knew this and to that end there had never been a rescue attempt for someone who’d been taken to the headquarters of Wolfram & Hart as he’d been.

He’d clearly heard the snap of his own urn close when he saw the gates etched with the W&H headquarters symbol.

Days turned into weeks and he wondered what the hell Wolfram & Hart was playing at. Everyday a couple of the demon goons, they called guards, would take him from his cell and lead him down to another room. Where he would be asked questions and tortured, by the most boring guy Spike had ever met.

In Spike’s professional opinion, the guy wasn’t even half decent at his job. The day they’d caught him. They had thrown a control collar on him, which stopped him from attacking the guy physically. It didn’t matter. The guy got so flustered by his comments about his wife, mother, and God that the ‘torturer’ kept losing his cool and was unable to continue, sending Spike back to his room.  
His cell was another thing that pulled at him. The resistance had never gotten anyone out of the headquarters. So they had no idea what the place looked like from the inside, but compared to the places they had stormed, it was a haven.

Windowless, so he didn’t have to hide in a shadow for hours on end. It was cramped but it was also clean with a cot bed and chair. He’d even been given a deck of cards to play with. However, being his nature, he spent most his time figuratively climbing the walls and literally pacing.

He figured he’d been there about three weeks when the guards didn’t take him to his usual day of bait the wannabe torturer. He figured this was the day and when they led him into a room with thick, red carpet. The first thing he thought was they were never going to get his ashes out of this carpet.

A man coughed and he looked up. It was indeed a man but Spike doubted that was all he was. A table of buzzards, it could only be the heads of Wolfram & Hart and Spike let loose a biting laugh. His end was important enough for the buzzards to want to see it.

“William, so glad to finally have the opportunity to meet you. I would have made time sooner, but your friends have been begging for my attention.” The man that had spoken was seated in the middle of the table, a few seats away from the man, who’d coughed to get his attention.

He wasn’t surprised they knew his real name, yet the surprise at its use must have flashed across his face.

The center table guy took it as a question. “Your Grandsire was kind enough to tell us many things, before her unfortunate death.”

Spike didn’t answer. He didn’t want to seem impatient for his own death, but if he was going to be forced to listen to this wanker all damn day. He was going to ask them just to speed it up.

“I’ve heard many interesting things about you William. I must admit you live up to my expectations, which is rather rare. It seems the gentlemen to whom I gave the responsibility of making you more willing to our ideas has given up on the task.”

Spike was not known for holding his tongue and gave up trying. “Screw your expectations and fuck you. Are you going to talk all bleeding day, or stake me already?”

No one answered his explosion, but the collar sent a current that brought him to his knees. He tried to pull himself to his feet and growled when he found he wasn’t able to.

The man in the middle of the circler table stood. The others ignored Spike to watch this being come around the table. He was tall and older looking, but Spike knew appearances could be deceiving. He, like Spike, looked in far better shape than his age could account for. Full head of gray hair, dark skin nearly Italian looking, and a build nowhere near skinny. He also wore a business suit, unlike any Spike had seen since before the new world order.

Spike figured this was it. He preferred not to die on his knees but the choice had been taken from him. He was expecting a stake when the man raised his hand, but the hand was empty. Spike tried his hardest not to move as the fingers caressed his face. He didn’t drop his eyes and he didn’t pull away, but his stomach dropped.

His stomach must have figured it out before the rest of him had. “You’re a very lovely young man.” The man twisted his face towards the table. “I find you fellows haven’t been unrealistic. He’s beautiful, the perfect replacement for the one you lost.”

The men at the table twitched at the ‘one you lost’. “Clean him up. I want him. Deliver him to me and cut his vocal cords.”

For the first time, Spike felt fear.

The man turned from him and towards the table. “Gentlemen.” The collective members of the table nodded and bade the thing farewell. In total, Spike counted 12. The thing standing slightly in front him, made 13, never a good number. Right up there with the triple 6’s.

The man turned away from the table and ruffled Spike’s hair then laughed when Spike twisted away. The men at table remained standing as a guard open and closed the door behind the being. Spike couldn’t bring himself to call that man mortal or human his scent was wrong.

The man that had coughed to get his attention moved from behind the table. He too was older perhaps late 40’s and human. Spike could smell the sweat and the body was in nowhere near the good shape the other’s had been and it pissed the vampire off to no end. Without the collar’s interference, this man would be at hell’s gate and not looming over him.

He reached out to Spike’s hair as the other had done. Spike, finding he could move, sprang away from the touch and to his feet, growling loudly and in full game face.

The man dropped his hand, the others still seated laughed and one piped up. “I don’t think the boy likes you, Frank.”

Frank smiled at Spike. “That’s okay Thomas, he doesn’t have to. William, showing your demon won’t help you. So why don’t you drop it?”

Spike growled in response. Frank tried again. “William, I can make you drop it. Why don’t you help yourself and not try anything hasty.”

Spike paused, seemly to think it over then sprang towards the man. He barely got a hand on the man before he was on the floor. Spike cracked open his eyes, the pain made him hazy, but he could tell his vision had been reverted back to his human mask. He slowly pulled himself from the floor and pushed away from the hand lowered to help him up.

“See William, that wasn’t smart and it hurt. You could’ve saved yourself a lot of pain.” Frank turned towards the door. “Send the good Doctor in.” One of the guards slipped out.

Frank and the figures at the table regarded him. Spike felt uncomfortable under the stares and he growled lightly. Frank smiled. “Sort of like a wild little pet, aren’t you? I bet Leader Ambrose is going to have fun with you.”

“Take this collar off and I’ll show you wild.” Spike did stop growling. As these ‘men’ seemed to think it was amusing and not dangerous.

Frank laughed. “I don’t think that would be in our best interest. We’re well aware of your version of violence and it so happens I plan to live a very long time.”

The guard returned, followed by a man in a white coat. He looked young compared to the rest of these stiffs. About 35, or so and he seemed very nervous.

“You have need for me, leaders?” The man held his black bag in front of him, like a shield, glancing around the room. His eyes saw Spike and if possible, softened.

Another at the table called out. “Yes, Doctor Howard. Do come in.”

The doctor inched further into the room and jumped as the door closed behind him. “Is one of you ill?”

“No,” Frank answered with amusement in his voice, making the doctor draw back. “We need your help with our little one here.”

The doctor looked him over and Spike backed away. Spike hated doctors, hated them when he was alive and never needed one as a vampire. His fear made him madder. He clenched his fists. He was not going to show fear.

The doctor’s fear fed Spike’s and his nervousness fueled Spike’s anger. The doctor’s voice shook. “He looks fine, sir.”

Frank grabbed his arm and Spike found he was unable to pull away. His body just wouldn’t move, until Frank moved him towards the doctor. Then his body followed and inside Spike screamed.

“He looks more than fine Doctor, but that’s not the point. Cut his vocal cords.”

The Doctor’s skin paled and he danced on his feet. “Perhaps you, sh-should call someone el- else.”

Frank held his arm. Spike tried to make his arm move-do anything. His fingers followed the command, but his arm stayed in Frank’s sweaty grasp. Frank smiled, it was cold and his voice conveyed his intolerance. “Doctor Howard, I know you will have no problems with the procedure. We want this done by someone who can do the job well, don’t we, William?”

“Sod off, tosser.” Spike was beginning to appreciate the softness of the room’s carpet. This time he had no choice in avoiding the hand that yanked him from the floor.

“B-but, your leadership, he’s a-a ch-child and I ca-can’t.”

“Oh Doctor, is that what’s bothering you? He’s a lot older than he looks. In fact he’s not even human. Here, take his pulse.” Frank raised Spike’s arm. The doctor took his wrist and Spike couldn’t stop the tremors that the doctor’s touch caused.

Frank turned from the doctor to look at Spike.

Spike told his body to move away from the hand that tilted his chin up and finding himself unable to do that, he closed his eyes.

At least that got through to his treacherous body. He hated this, trapped inside his own body, unable to move and unable to make it listen to him. It was like watching a dummy follow the strings of the puppet master and it was causing a claustrophobic panic.

He felt so helpless and that feeling was the worse, but when Frank told him to open his eyes and they opened without his permission. Spike only let the anger shine through.

The doctor dropped his wrist. “A vampire. Do, do you want it-it to be permanent?”

“No Doc, nothing permanent. He has a lovely voice. We just want to teach him how to use it better.” Frank was reaching his boiling point and his grasp on Spike’s arm increased. It didn’t really hurt, which pissed Spike off, as he should have been able to remove it.

The doctor seemed to finally pick up on Frank’s unhappiness. “Yes, then I’ll d-do it.”

Doctor Howard made a move towards him, and since it wasn’t a command harboring Frank’s hold on him, Spike’s body did cringe. Spike cursed it for picking that time to listen.

“Well Frank,” the man, Thomas, gaffed out. “Looks like there’s someone he dislikes more than you.”

Frank smiled down at him and Spike wanted to belt it off his face. “Looks like it, Thomas.” Lowering his voice Frank said. “William, be a good boy and this won’t hurt. Misbehave and I’ll have him drip the instruments in holy water. Do you understand?”

If possible the doctor looked more fearful of the threat than Spike did. Spike didn’t trust his voice. If he opened his mouth, he was sure he’d say something that would get him the holy water treatment, so instead he nodded.

“Let’s get the good Doctor some working space. You, guard, bring that chair here, in front of the table, under the light.” Frank called to the other. “Get a table, so the Doctor can set up.”

The doctor took a deep breath as both guards jumped to their tasks. “I have more equipment in the lab. Are you sure I can’t take him down there? It would be far more,”

Frank cut him off. “Doctor, we can bring anything you like up here. If it’s necessary; however, you will do the procedure right here. We would like to witness the event. Surely you would not ask us to come down to your lab?”

The doctor paled. “No, of course not. This will be fine. I should have everything I need.”

Frank turned from the Doctor and in doing so brought Spike with him. Spike had no choice but to let himself be put into a seat and he keenly felt the 12 pairs of eyes watching him. But it wasn’t until the doctor took his seat situated, so he loomed from above, that Spike felt the tremors return.

The Doctor held some liquid in his hand and paused before applying it. “Do I-I have your per-permission, Leader to make th-this as painless for him as possible.”

Frank stood next to Spike’s chair, opposite from the Doctor. Both were trying their best not to block Spike from the table of onlookers. Spike wanted to look up and see the answer. He found he could move his head and did so, Frank looked down at him.

Spike made a mental note that holding still while Frank brushed the hair from his face was the hardest thing he’d ever done to date. Frank smiled. “See William you’re being a good boy, so you get a treat. Yes, Doctor you have our permission to make this as painless as possible for him.”

The Doctor sighed his relief. Spike couldn’t help but agree with him. It wasn’t the pain he feared it was the doctor and the loss of his voice. The liquid was applied to his throat and in moments it was numb. Spike pushed back into the seat as the scalpel was lifted towards his throat and the doctor again paused.

“What is the problem now, Doctor?” Frank hissed.

The doctor twisted in his seat with an uneasy expression of pain. “He’s shaking too much. I’m afraid I might do him damage.”

“Frank, we can’t have him damaged. Calm him down.” Spike swore one day he was going to kill Thomas and the first thing he was going to do was tear his vocal cords out, slowly.

Frank once more stepped into his field of vision blocking the sight of the others at the table, the doctor, and the light from above. “William, I know you’re scared.” Spike growled at him and Frank smiled it was soft and relenting. “Okay, you’re not scared. Just calm down it won’t hurt. You won’t feel anything.”

Spike badly wanted to tell him: ‘hey if it’s no big deal then they could switch places’. More than any of the others, he hated this man with his act of being kind it threw him off. He wasn’t used to kindness but he knew it didn’t wreak evil as this did.

He felt the collar tingle around his lower neck and readied himself for the pain. Instead it slowly deadened his body, making it feel heavy and useless. The shaking stopped. The only thing he could move were his eyes. Unlike the previous times, he could make nothing respond, it was like he wasn’t there.

His eyes widened and Frank lightly trailed a finger down his face, pausing to run them over his lips. “Don’t worry little one this only lasts a short time.” Frank moved back and Spike was too relieved to even glare. He just closed his eyes. “Go ahead, Doctor.”

Spike felt the scalpel as it split his skin and now it was real. They really were going to do this to him and there really was nothing he could do stop them. The helpless overwhelmed him.

Eyes still closed, he sensed Frank lean in. He didn’t care anymore and didn’t open his eyes to see. “Doctor, you assured me he would feel no pain.”

“He’s not, not from me anyway.” The doctor sounded surer of himself now. Spike was sure it had something to do with the fact that the doctor was now slicing and dicing. It had always calmed him down.

“Then why is he crying?” Frank sounded more or less interested, hardly concerned. Spike blinked, it took him a moment to process the fact that he was indeed crying. It pissed him off and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to cut them off.

“I would gather because he’s scared, because I’m cutting his vocal cords or maybe because he’s not used to humans staring at him, like he’s dinner.”

“No need to get nasty Doctor. Is everything going okay?”  
Spike felt someone wiping his face and didn’t want to look. He didn’t want to see that bastard looking at him, touching him. Instead, he concentrated on what the Doctor was doing, even that was better. He felt the something break apart inside his throat and knew his voice was gone.

“It’s done. I’ll close up.”

Spike heard the rattling of the instruments.

“There won’t be any scaring?” Frank was closer, like he was leaning over, looking at the Doctor’s handy work. Spike could feel his breath.

“No scaring. The cuts I’ve made to the surface will actually heal rather quickly, probably unnoticeable within a couple of days. The actual vocal cords will take longer. Depending on how he’s fed, give or take, three months.”

“Good work Doctor. Expect your usual payment.” He could hear and sense Frank moving away from him and the doctor moved towards the table.

The Doctor’s breath came close to his ear. “I’m sorry, kid.” He peeked from underneath his lids. The Doctor was holding a bandage and without another word, proceeded to wrap his throat.

Sensation bloomed into his body like he coming out of deep water. He lifted his head and finding that went well, he jumped from the chair and found that didn’t go over to well. He hit the floor just as the Doctor came around the chair. Frank pushed him out of the way. “Your help is no longer needed here, Doctor.”

Spike watched the Doctor beat a hasty retreat to the door, calling over his shoulder, before the door was shut upon him. “Make sure he gets blood.”

Frank tried to pull him from the floor and finding he could do so, Spike pulled away from him. Hell, he wanted to stay on the floor and his throat was starting to hurt.

Frank stood over him for a minute. “Come, William off the floor.”

He wasn’t moving, to hell with this and he closed his eyes. He wasn’t unconscious. He just didn’t care and he was tired. “Guard, pick him up and follow me.”

He was lifted off the floor like a child, cradled in the things arms. Spike opened his mouth to tell the tosser to put him down. And nothing came out…  
~~~~End Dream Interlude Pt.1

He was screaming now. Spike woke up to sound of his own voice and realized it wasn’t him, but his counterpart. He watched his hand shake as he tried to sooth his counterpart. All the while thankful the other could scream out, he’d been trained out of that. He’d always suffered in silenced, until now. It still took him a minute to figure out he wasn’t in that room, but a hotel.

The counterpart woke up and scrambled away from the hands, unseeing to who they belonged to. They both took ragged unneeded breaths.

“You okay?” The alternate having awoken first, recovered first and reached out towards the other.

The Spike of this universe let himself be pulled down onto bed. “Yeah, mate fine. Woke you up, did I?”

“Yes, thank you, I,”

“Having a problem of your own?”

“Yeah.” He tried to control the breathing induced by the terror. This universe’s Spike flicked between his game face and human.

The alternate took in their condition. “We’re quite a pair, booze?”

“Yeah, booze.” The shorthaired Spike settled on his human guise. Then got up and brought back an armful of alcohol bottles. Tossing vodka towards his counterpart, he sat on the bed with a whiskey. Neither wanted to talk and so they drank in silence.

They were each on a second bottle, before either could relax. The bleach blond realized he was sitting up, relaxed against his counterpart’s side. The skin felt so soft against his back and fingers randomly tracing patterns on his side. He squirmed away as they began to tickle. “Stop it.” He tried to roll away. His counterpart followed, not relenting, but putting both hands to the action.

This universe’s Spike twisted to return the favor and both broke apart when they fell from the bed onto the floor. Still breathlessly laughing, they helped each up, it had been so long since either had had fun.

The alternate figured it had been four years since anyone had touched him, other than sexually. And for the first time in four years, he found he was attracted to someone and it had nothing to do with the fact that this person was essentially himself.

If that was all it was then he could go into the bathroom and have at. They were, in his eyes, far too different to be the same person. They just looked alike. He watched his counterpart stretch and made up his mind.

“Turn over.” He crawled across the bed to sit next to the bleached, shorthaired blond, who looked at him.

“Why?” It wasn’t hostile, just curious.

“Cause, I want to make you feel better.” The other raised an eyebrow at him, but still followed the request.

He massaged the soft skin and felt the muscles relax beneath his hands. He waited until the body beneath his was pliant before kissing the middle and then suppressed a sigh when the muscles stiffened, ruining all his work.

Still beneath him, the other turned around. “Why did you do that?”

“I wanted to. I want to do this too.” He leaned in and softly kissed the shorthaired blond, not releasing, until neither could help the moans that escaped. Still on top, he could feel himself grinding against a need as great as his own.

“Please, I need this.” He whispered into the swollen lips, still so close to his.

His answer was given when a hand worked between them and rubbed him through his white boxers. “God, yes.” Escaped his lips, before he lowered his head to kiss the one beneath him.

Boxers were great. Ripping those off, they found skin on skin was even better. A heat was generated between the two cool bodies grinding against each other. Soft nips turned blue eyes into gold. He twisted out of the hold his alternate held his long hair in and worked down the writhing body. Nipping the hard flat nipples till they were wet little numbs. He bit and sighed into the moan he heard from above him.

The blood tasted like a hot spring of passion and desire. He licked the spot till it closed beneath his lips. He tried holding the bucking hips into the mattress. Being of equal strength, the alternate just tried to slow the rocking.

Laying flat on his back in bed was enjoyable but shorthaired blond wanted to do more. Yet every time he tried to turn them over, he was met with resistance and a new place to put his attention.

He gave up and put himself into the other’s very capable hands and relented when his counterpart pushed his knees apart. The long blond hair became electric shocks of pleasure, as the strands moved against his lower stomach. He whimpered with need as his hips shifted to push against the teasing mouth.

He managed a groan when the other avoided his forcing hands. “Plea,” In gulfed, he couldn’t finish the word. He wrapped his fists in the sheets, the pulsing in his cock mimicking a heartbeat.

One hand messaged his aching balls. The other hand sneaked some fingers next to the shorthaired blonde’s organ inside his counterpart’s mouth. The shorthaired blonde hissed, when those fingers left the others mouth and slid lower, pressing against his opening. He pushed and raised his hips against the digit, forcing it within him.

Another finger joined the first stretching and scissoring. Every other stoke brought the fingers to that spot, blinding him with jolts of pleasure.

He gasped in shock, when the head lifted from him, bouncing his cock against his stomach. He whimpered to the face looking down at him, as the fingers inside him picked up speed.

The longhaired blonde leaned down and whispered harshly. “Can I?”

“Yes.” He breathed out to the face above him, lifting and spreading his knees to allow better access.

The alternate knew what he needed and knew his counterpart would understand. He thrust full force into the willing body. With a scream of equal part pain and numbing pleasure, the blond on the bed wrapped his legs around the other’s waist.

Feeling the blood pave an easier way, the long haired blond mewed his own ecstasy. So tight like a steel band had surrounded him, pulling him, squeezing. He gave a split moment to wonder if this was why so many people enjoyed the same position with him, but pushed it away with a sharp thrust of his hips.

The dark blond removed one hand from his partner’s bucking hips to the throbbing cock aching with the fiction between them and brought his hand around it. He roughly countered his own rhythm.

He leaned down for a kiss and was almost pulled over the edge, as teeth met catching tongue and lips. Blood flowed between them distracting them from the room, from the world. Everything was the thrust of hips and the weeping blood of the tongue.

Thrusts became pistons, as they collided head on with a train of pleasure, twin screams ran the walls.

They gulped breaths, trying to rein in the humming of the blood. The alternate moved first, rising up and out of the lax body beneath him, each gave a moan at the separation. He leaned over and used the first thing his hand touched to clean them off. Entwined in one another, they kissed softly and their hitched breath slowed to nothingness as a dreamless sleep over took them.

Angel made to fully enter the room the blondes were now sleeping in. Xan restrained him with a hand around his arm.

“No Angel, leave them be.” Angel turned to the statue, leaning against the other side of the door. Angel could see the dark pangs of desire stirring within the chocolate eyes.   
“I just wanted,” Angel tried to push past the other man, without causing him pain, but it was of no avail.

“I know what you wanted. I want the same thing but not now. That wasn’t for us.” Xan’s eyes narrowed, staring into the deliberately dark room. “It wasn’t a show, nor was it an invite.”

“Then what do you suppose we do? I have to touch. You saw the condition they woke up in. I want to make sure they’re okay.”

“They comforted each other and as you can see they’re sleeping just fine now. If they scream again we can bust in here as the white knights. Till then you come back into this room and wait your turn for a cold shower.” Xan’s arm made no sign of releasing him and Angel knew the man was right. His soul wouldn’t let him go in and just take what he wanted.

So the vampire cast one more glance into the room that called him with the smell of sex and his boy’s blood and turned away towards his own cold room. Xan gazed, memorizing the scene before him before slipping back and shutting the connecting door.


	8. Denial

Part 8

Xan decided the best way to deal with last night was to believe there was no last night. He didn’t see it and therefore it didn’t happen. Denial, more than a band-aid for the head of a losing side of a war, if it worked there it would work here.

So what if every time he closed his eyes he saw flawless ivory skin, flashes of blue and gleaming fangs? It didn’t mean anything. He just had a very vivid dream last night and that’s all there was to it.

He just hoped Angel, the brooding poof, would keep his mouth shut. Lord, let the man be having an inner soul brooding day.

Cordelia had shown up sometime around noon to collect her counterpart for some recon shopping. Xan was proud of the Gunn’s. They’d held out for exactly 10 minutes before giving in to the women. If they survived Xan was going to give them a purple heart. From what he’d heard from Angel, both men would deserve one, if they came back alive.

He couldn’t help but smile, thinking of the two men franticly nodding no as Queen C asked for the permission for her and G to go. It wasn’t the first time Xan had sent a good man to his death. It was the first time he could do it with a smile and a laugh.

He called Giles and got a report on Will and Wes. It seems the Willow’s were having a ‘smashing’ (and who used that word) time. They were using the magic shop to compare spells.

The Willow’s were pretty much a given. However the Wesley’s seemed to have worked out their differences as well and were ‘bonding’. Xan wasn’t worried. His Wes was already as jaded as they came. Angel didn’t seem so sure about the arrangement. Xan couldn’t help a smile, if the vampire only knew.

Xan couldn’t help but think that he had made an error in letting everyone go their separate ways, even if it was a good laugh. Now he was trapped with three vampires and none were in good moods.

They tried playing cards but Angel kept accusing the Spikes of cheating. Angel couldn’t prove it. He just accused them, every hand. Now the first five times it could be seen as funny. Xan knew they were cheating. They knew they were cheating, but it was just a game.

Of course, Angel didn’t see it that way. Angel had brought up every sin he could think of and Xan had to separate this world’s Spike from Angel. He ended up threatening them with his ‘holy’ water. Yeah it came from the bathroom but he wasn’t going to tell them that.

The bottle of ‘holy’ water was still sitting at his feet and the three vampires were in various stages of conversation. Angel had decided this world’s Spike could not go around in dirty clothes and his counterpart could not go around in clothing that was nearly translucent. Xan manned his ‘holy’ water and stayed out of it.

“I will not have any childe of mine looking like a homeless reject.”

“Who’s the reject, Peaches? You didn’t care what I wore till now, what’s the big deal?” This world’s Spike crossed his arms and Xan had to suppress a smile, God it was so damn cute. He looked wholly the part of a put off child. Xan had the urge to tell Angel to leave them alone. He also had an urge to tell Angel he was a priss, but he bit his tongue on both urges.

“The big deal is I have to be seen with you. When was the last time you two bathed?” Angel backed away from the two blondes, who still smelt of sex and blood. In Xan’s opinion they didn’t look or smell bad. However he had a feeling ‘Peaches’ was just venting.

For the first time the counterpart spoke, while grabbing his mirror’s arm. “As you say, Sire.”

This universe’s Spike glared at his counterpart. “We are not listening to Peaches.”

Xan couldn’t hear what his Spike whispered to his twin. Though Angel must have because he suddenly got the ‘I’m guilty-stake me now’ look. Xan’s Spike dragged the other towards the bathroom. The dark haired Spike turned back towards the room. Once he got the other safely inside the bathroom. “We’ll wear whatever you choose, Sire.”

He heard the other Spike begin to curse at his counterpart as the door closed, a few seconds later the shower could be heard.

Angel hadn’t moved and in order for Xan to peel his mind away from what was most likely happening in the bathroom, he turned his attention towards the brunette vampire. “Well?”

Angel turned his way. “What?”

“What did he say to get your Spike to do that?” Angel ignored the question and went to the mini-bar. Seeing it was bone dry, Angel went into their room and Xan calmly waited. The vampire returned with a glass full of what, Xan figured, was Rum and ice.

Xan made to reach for the ‘holy’ water at his feet. Angel paused, the glass half way to his lips. “He said, he’d had his fill of hell and remembers enough not to want to see my version of it.”

Oh, hitting Angel where it hurt. Reminding the older vampire of how he used to treat Spike and reminding Angel of his failures. Damn and Xan had thought his Spike had lost the flair. It was still there, in spades, just a lot quieter. “I see, well you better make the most of it.”

Angel looked at him as if he was crazy and that was an insult, who knew crazy like the sire of Drusilla? “What do you mean?”

“I mean you can put them in the black silk of your choice.” Xan leaned forward, interested in the vampire’s reaction.

“My clothes, why the hell would I put them in my clothes?” The vampire took a swig of his rum.

Xan muttered beneath his breath, aware the vampire’s hearing would pick it up. “Better than pissing on them.”

Angel nearly spit his rum. “I’m not trying to mark them.”

“No, you’re just trying to control them and let me tell you, I’m not a vampire, but even I can smell the lust coming off you.” Xan pulled back from the vampire and for the first time that day relaxed into his chair. It was amazing what venting at Angel could do for a person, he’d forgotten.

“I am a vampire and I could say the same to you, my friend.” Angel smiled, watching Xan again tense in his chair.

Xan shook his head, time to get his own drink. He walked past the vampire, aware of the sniffing motion the vampire made in his direction, as he wandered to the mini bar in the other room. This was a whiskey moment if there ever was one. He added it to his coffee.

Damn Angel, no that wasn’t exactly fair he, himself had made his emotions perfectly clear last night. He’d spent an hour in their shower after turning away, from what didn’t happen last night.

Xan thought he might have a moment to himself and cursed himself and his bad luck, when Angel walked into the room. Xan watched the vampire open his closet and start pulling things out. He snapped at Xan. “Since I’m the only one with clothing here you’re going to have to borrow something too. After you shower, of course just don’t ruin them.”

Xan seeing the excuse for what it was took the offered clothes, turned from the vampire and headed towards their room’s shower. “I’ll care for them like I would my own.”

He shut the bathroom door, only to hear the vampire call loudly at the door. “You better care for them better than that.”  
Damn, he’d missed that guy. No one was funnier to piss off than Angel and he recalled his full understanding of Wes and Spike’s addiction to it. What a stress reliever.

Xan had the shampoo in his hair, before it hit him. This was the first shower in many years that had no armed guard standing in attendance, no witchcraft to block. He was alone, no threat, no worries and there would be no emergency, in which he would have to meet buck-naked.

This is how normal people felt, Xan guessed. He took a long time in that shower, long enough to realize hot water was a luxury that ran out and when it did, he was forced to leave.

It wasn’t until he was standing dry in the warm bathroom that he looked through the clothing Angel had tossed at him. A silk shirt, he chuckled and black no less. The pants were also the negative color, but they were so soft. Xan posed and felt the material before he could make himself sit to put on the thin socks. Xan doubted they would be any comfort inside his boots.

He and Angel were very close in size, it was a good fit and he could hardly complain about the materials. He glanced in the mirror and thought for a moment about shaving and tossed the idea right out. He didn’t want to look like their Xan. That kid wasn’t as built as he was, but mistakes could be made and he didn’t want any.

His people needed to tell, at a glance, who was who and the scar that the beard hid wouldn’t be enough for split second viewing. Even if the clothing was better, god where did that kid shop? He could find better clothing in a war. What did that say about the kid’s taste? He could only hope the choice in clothing was the girlfriends doing.

He stepped out of the room, enjoying the coolness of the main room after the heat in the bathroom. Angel was waiting, another drink in hand, brood in full swing. Xan almost felt like he was interrupting. Angel took brooding to a new height. “Angel?”

The vampire pulled his eyes from the wisdom of his rum. “Yeah, Xan.”

Xan noticed the door between the rooms was closed. “If I open that door will I find two piles of ash?”

Angel’s eyes flashed gold, before they again calmed to chocolate brown. “No, they would be making fun of the clothes I kindly gave them.”

Just as Xan headed towards the mini bar, the door between the rooms hit the wall with a bounce. “Hey Peaches. I hate you. You big oaf.”

Xan turned from the mini bar in time to see this universe’s Spike come storming in, closely followed by his counterpart. He nearly didn’t swallow his first comment and laughter.   
Angel glanced up and Xan couldn’t believe the vampire kept a straight face. “You hate me. I’ve heard that one enough, you need new material Wil.”

“Don’t call me that.” This universe’s Spike hissed. He wore a red silk shirt and black pants, both were far too big, almost overwhelming the bleached vampire. His counterpart was no better off in his navy silk shirt both had the pants rolled, not to mention the sleeves on the shirts, which being far too long could not be tucked in.

In all, they were ravishing. The Spikes did not agree. Xan watched them pick and try to make the clothing more suitable. Xan would have told them to give it up, but it was much more interesting to watch.

Angel must have agreed and neither man said anything as the blonds fussed and called them both 7 different kinds of oafs. The tirade ended up with the blonds arguing among themselves for the treasured black duster.

Only then did Angel interrupt, Xan not knowing what to say returned his attention towards the mini bar for a bit of the courage found in whiskey. “Neither of you will be wearing it. The damn thing is going to the cleaners.”

Xan was glad he hadn’t said that. Both blonds turned their gold eyes Angel’s way. The vampire hadn’t moved from the bed, eyes back on his rum and his words were barely above a yell to get their attention.

“Hell no Peaches. That duster isn’t going anywhere, except on me.” This universe’s Spike could still fight with others but the moment Angel had interfered the other had gone quiet.

Angel lifted his eyes from his glass and looked at his Spike. Xan watched as the older vampire’s eyes waved towards yellow. “William Taylor Banning you will do as I say right this second. Cause hell so help me lad, if you make me put down this rum, you will be very sorry.”

Both blonds flinched and Xan could do nothing as his universe’s Spike fled the room, it made his heartache.

The other glared at his sire. “Wanker.” Then followed his counterpart.

Xan agreed with the assessment. He watched Angel return to his rum. “You didn’t have to do that. You could treat them a little better. They’re not two year olds.”

Angel put the rum on the nightstand, before swinging around and sitting on the bed. In swish of movement that Xan couldn’t follow the vampire was in his face. “Don’t tell me how to treat my boys. I know how to treat them. I don’t know how your Angel would have acted, but those are my boys. My childer and to me, they will always be about two years old. So leave be, human.”  
Xan sighed. His Angel would have and had acted the same way. It was all about possession with this guy mine, mine, mine and Xan was sick of it.

He should have told the other Angel this but this one would have to do. “No, you listen. You do not know how to treat them, cause I wouldn’t treat my dog the way you treat them. Hell, I probably show Wolfram & Hart more love than you show them. They’re not possessions and if you insist on treating them as such don’t be surprised when someone else takes ownership, vampire.”

Xan didn’t bother feeling glee over the vampire’s shock. Instead, he went to the connecting door and knocked, as a decent human would.

It didn’t take vampire hearing to hear Angel’s whisper. “Who? You Xan.”

“Come in, Xan.” His Spike, Xander could tell by the quiet canter.

He peeked his head around the door, before fully coming into the room. He wanted to make sure the other Spike wouldn’t throw anything at him. His Spike sat on the bed, taking things out of the duster pockets. My god, where was the kitchen sink? The other paced and swore, a billow of smoke following him.

Xan wanted to comfort, wanted to make this better, but he didn’t know how. He hadn’t done the comforting out of love thing in a long time. Four years in fact and he was a little out of practice and these were not the easiest people to comfort. He was fully aware that any ‘I care’ stuff would be met with scorn. They just didn’t trust anyone that way. With that in mind, “Hey guys, want me to dust him?”

The blondes pacing stopped and he peered up at him through his cigarette smoke. “You’d do that?” The other just stared at him from the bed, his hand paused in the middle of pulling something out of the duster it looked like, a chain?

“Of course I would. I’d have to find a way to pay for this room, but hey, I’ve faced tougher challenges. Anything for my favorite vampire menaces.”

Xan grinned, who knew they had a smile that couldn’t be classified as a smirk.


	9. He wasn't human

Part 9

Angel paid for the package at the door. No one came from the other bedroom and that was just fine. He couldn’t deal with either Spike or their Savior Xan right now. Angel knew he was being ruled by his darker emotions on this and it felt good. Which incidentally was bad and in this case Angel didn’t care.

Going all alpha male with Xan was stupid. He knew it at the time but it felt so right. He wasn’t going to regret it. His childer were his, possessive yes, demented probably, but another truth.

He was using his deeper emotions to keep both Spikes away, twisting love the way only he could. Into something that would scare them, keep them away, and drive them right into someone else’s arms, into Xan’s arms. Then when Xan took his Spike and left the other here, he could, could what?

Knock this universe’s Spike over the head and carry him back to LA? Stupid Angel. Angel knocked back another rum and realized Angel didn’t drink. Angelus did. But he wasn’t just demon, he wasn’t Angelus. He was both. He was demon and soul and they both wanted those blonds in the other room with frightening clarity. The thought made him laugh, it was bitter, but it wasn’t evil.

Only his vampiric family, Darla, Drusilla, Penn, and of course Spike reminded him of something every time he was in their presence. Their antics proved how truly intertwined and how small the line really was between sinner and saint. Right now the line was blurred and he liked it that way. It made him feel alive, Spike made him feel alive and why was he fighting this?

Maybe it was because Cordelia, Wesley, and Gunn would follow him around with holy water and stalk him with arrows behind their backs. They would remember he wasn’t human but he wasn’t human, he was a vampire. Spike made him remember that and that was worth remembering.

Xan had just brought it to his attention. The soul was more than a conscious for him. It was sanity, strength. It brought light to the darkness. It made thoughts clear, the small voice his head, his ‘conscious’ had told him loving Buffy was safe. She was good. Therefore loving her made him good. Loving Spike was evil, because Spike was evil and he’d listened to that voice.

No more, that voice had been wrong. Spike wasn’t evil. Any evil that lived within that beautiful body had been put there by his sire, by him. Evil didn’t love, it didn’t feel and Angel knew, all to well, that Spike did those things with everything he had. Soul or no soul and that made Spike more human than he could be in any incarnation.

Resolved, Angel put down the drink. The brooding was at an end, for now. When Xan took his Spike back to their hellish world, his wouldn’t be alone. Never again, it was time to stop listening to voices and listen with his heart.

Angel turned towards the door and paused to take a deep, unneeded but resolving, breath. He knocked, demon style, by banging the door open.

He could tell his Spike by the flash of teeth even before he put together the hair and clothing differences, his counterpart jumped. Xan put away the gun he’d leveled at the door. Angel strolled into the room and dropped a package in front of the longhaired blond on the bed.

This universe’s Spike watched Angel closely, resting back in his chair and didn’t pull his feet from where they rested on the bed. Angel folded his arms but said nothing about the shoes on messy sheets.

Spike figured the eyes were the key being the windows to the soul and all that rot. He gazed up towards his sire’s face, chocolate brown, no yellow in sight, so it wasn’t Angelus but he sure wasn’t acting like Angel.

“Oh thank you, sire.” Spike dropped his eyes from his Sire to his counterpart, who was pulling on the Doc Martin boots that had been in the package.

“You’re welcome Wil.” Spike growled. The other, on the bed, just dropped his eyes, unwilling to correct his sire.

Angel sighed. He was taking this breathing thing to new height. He hadn’t needed air this much, since Cordy had maxed out the hotel credit cards, all five of them, in one day.

“I can’t call you both Spike. It would get confusing. One of you is going to have to be called something else.” He looked between the two, “and since you’re” a nod towards the dark blond on the bed, “the least likely to give me hell about it, it’s you.” Angel nodded towards Wil, who nodded, still not peering up to busy looking at the new shoes.

Spike however, was about ready to get into it with his Sire, when Xan interrupted. “He’s right. It’s that, or everyone starts calling you Spike in the red shirt and Spike in the navy shirt.”

Since that wasn’t an option in Spike’s opinion and the counterpart acted as if it was okay. Spike dropped the argument.

Angel nodded and turned back towards his room and tilted his head slightly. “Sun’s setting. We’d better head towards Giles. My Cordelia said she’d met us there and if she knows what’s good for her, she’ll have some blood with her.” The sentence was finished with a growl.

Angel noticed the widened eyes and explained. “What? Aren’t you boy’s hungry?” Not getting an answer, Angel continued his walk towards his room. “You had better be hungry and you’ll drink down every bag I give you.”

Angel shut the door behind him. Spike stared at the door and then towards his counterpart. In sync they both leveled their blue eyes at Xan, who shrugged. “I guess he’s worried about your feeding habits. Have to admit, looking a little thin. So I’ll have to go with him on this one.”

Spike was simply wigged out. Peaches didn’t worry about him. The wanker shouldn’t care if he was thin. He rationalized it must be the counterpart he was worried about.

Wil kept his smile off his face until he had to drop his head to let it go while pretending to fix his new boots. This was how his Angel acted. Gruff love was the best word for it. Angel had figured it out. Now all he had to do was make his counterpart see it. Plan in the works, Wil looked up and nearly gasped at the love in the brown eyes staring at him. Brown eyes that quickly looked away. Wil figured he was wrong, cause Xan didn’t feel that way about him.

Spike watched Xan stare at his counterpart. Bloody hell, the guy didn’t even seem to notice Xan’s eyes on him. Spike figured all the years with Wolfram & Hart must have screwed up his counterpart’s head. Because if this universe’s Xander had ever looked at him like that. He’d asked the slayer to stake him, post-haste.

In this case however Spike formed an idea. His counterpart needed someone and Xan seemed to be it. Now he had to make his counterpart see it. Damn blind bastard.

Both blond vampires let the wheels of thought work their violent magic. Angel returned to the room wearing his own leather coat and he tossed Xan his. Xan happy for something else to put his attention on put it all into the simple task of putting on his coat.

Angel picked the beloved duster up from the end of the bed. Spike took his feet from the bed to the floor. “Hey, peaches what the hell are we going to wear? It’s cold out there.”

The sweater hit the blond in the face.

Xan jumped out of Angel’s car just as it was coming to a stop in front of the magic shop and rubbed his still steaming ears. How could’ve he forgotten Spike’s sharp tongue. He calmly evaluated that he’d rather face Wolfram & Hart, armed with only a toothpick, than go through that again.

After Angel had dropped the well-worn duster off at the front desk for cleaning, Spike had been an absolute monster. Xan was almost relived that his counterpart was much quieter in his outrage.

The little monster in question and his counterpart jumped out of the car and Xan watched them go towards the shop, without looking back at them. Until they reached the door where they stopped and looked back. Xan couldn’t explain the little jolt of joy the action gave him.

As Angel caught up, Xan slowly walked towards the waiting blonds. Sweaters, what had the older vampire been thinking? Probably close to what his lower regions were thinking.

Of course, they matched the silk shirts, dark red and navy, sleeves pushed to the elbows, the hems hit about mid-thigh. All they needed to finish the effect was some schoolbooks. Yum.

Angel was thinking glasses. Yum. He shook the feeling off. This was not time. He elbowed Xan as he past, getting the man moving towards the shop. He stood between the two blonds and walked in confident he would be followed.

Angel couldn’t help but notice the large amount of bags surrounding Cordelia, as she leaned into one and pulled something out to show Buffy. The two Willow’s watched, as Queen C dug into one of her bags.

Everyone stopped as they heard the bell. He nodded hello and realized no one was looking at him at all, but past him. He turned back as well, hoping it wasn’t serious.

The blonds had the room’s attention. His Spike was glaring around daring anyone to make the first comment. The other looked at his shoes. The boy did that a lot, he must really like them. Xan stood behind them, arms crossed, ever-looking the part of a guard.

Angel adjusted his posture when he realized it was too much like Xan’s and moved away, further into the shop.

Xan put his hands on the small of the blonde’s backs and gave a light push. Spike glared back at him but they both moved forward. Buffy’s giggles were the first reaction and by far the loudest. Xan made eye contact with his group, silently telling them to not join Buffy’s antics or to attack her.

Buffy ambled towards the blondes. As Angel, still watching, started talking to Cordelia, Xan didn’t even fake his disinterest. He stood with the blonds as she approached.

“Look at you two, aren’t you cute? Bopsy twins, did daddy dress you?”

“Least I’m dressed, Slayer.” Spike nodded at her skin-tight pants and small sweater top. He looked about ready to kill her, chipped or not. Wil backed into Xan. Xan tried to comfort him, without anyone seeing his hand rubbing the slight back in front of him.

Angel walked up behind the slayer, casting a shadow over her and she turned to him. “Angel?”  
“Actually, daddy did dress them. As they have nothing in the clothing department, they didn’t have much of a choice. Do you have a problem with it?”

Buffy looked around the room for back up. Xander and Anya were engrossed with each other at the table. Giles was also at the table talking to both Wesley’s, who were looking her way, but didn’t seem to share her joke.

Cordelia seemed to stop thinking it was funny after Angel spoke, anyone without clothes deserved her sorrow. Her Willow looked down right ashamed of her and their Willow. Oh not of the good, the weird eye looked like it was sparking.

The Gunn’s were both respectively passed out in their chairs and after seeing who had entered were blissfully snoring away.

It took Buffy roughly 30 seconds to realize she had not shown good judgment and did the only thing she could think of. “Oh no problem. You know I have to pick on him- them. Um well, got to patrol.” She slipped out the door trying to figure out when exactly Spike had become everyone’s darling.

Angel took a chair next to the couch. Xan followed the blonds. Spike sat at the end, closet to Angel and looked to be far too shocked to do anything. Other than look at Angel and shake his head.

Xan didn’t know what had shaken the vampire more, Buffy backing down or Angel sticking up for him. Will sat next to his counterpart and Xan sat next to him, wanting desperately to take the hand next to his, but not wanting to face the results of the action.

Cordelia, Queen C and their many shopping bags followed. Xan half listened, as Cordelia reassured Angel that she had indeed brought the vampire’s bagged lunch. She then proceeded to show Angel where his money had gone. Fancy clothing, clothing that had no place on his planet. There were no balls and snotty restaurants in the world of the new order.

Xan’s Queen Q watched her counterpart with a wistful gleam and Xan hoped his Queen hadn’t shopped like her counterpart. When it was Queen’s turn to take the floor and show off her new purchases, Xan held his breath.

Xan grinned when she pulled out a coffeemaker and she grinned as Xan laughed. Cordelia complained. “Angel, she was just no fun. All she bought were medical supplies, rope and a bunch of like, army stuff.”

Xan spoke up. “That’s my girl. What else you got in there?” Xan paid attention as Queen pulled much needed materials out of various bags. Where their Cordelia was a fashion victim, his was a resistance leader.

Spike seemed to snap out of his trance. “Damn, bint I like the way you shop.”   
Queen C grinned, proud of her purchases. “Thanks blonde.”

Xan had to agree, when they got home this stuff would be put too good use. Hell, it could save lives. “You did good C. Did you get anything for yourself?”

Her smile dropped a little, but she reached into a somewhat neglected bag and pulled out two huge boxes. It was Angel’s turn to smile. He knew the women couldn’t be that different. Every Cordelia was a selfish shopper at heart.

She paused to open the boxes. Then tossed them at the two blond vampire’s and only their fast reflexes allowed them to catch them. Xan caught on first and bit his smile down. Angel looked baffled. Spike and Wil just stared up at her.

“Well don’t stare, open.” She laughed, slapping her G’s knee, waking him enough to help her return everything to its bag.

Xan watched her with amazement. She was one hell of a woman. He’d pick his Queen C over the other any day of the week. He knew she had a soft spot for Spike. It seems she had just transferred the same feeling to this universe’s Spike. And this was just her way of showing she cared.

Angel was just stunned. They were that different. This Queen C had just bought something for someone else, of her own free will. When he’d mentioned it to the ladies earlier in the afternoon he’d never thought either took him seriously.

The blonde’s torn into the boxes. They weren’t ones to take such things slow, neither got presents often. Wil beat his counterpart by half a second and when he moved no further. Spike stopped to see what the deal was.

The first thing Spike saw on the crisp paper was a gun, a nice silver 6mm. Next to it was a knife, long and mean, but the thing that made him smile was the old fashion railroad spike with a single S engraved.

Wil was transfixed. It had been so long since he’d been allowed to hold a weapon. He didn’t think he could touch one now. It made him flinch to think about it. Xan must have seen his distress because he leaned over and removed them from the box, pretending to look them over.

Queen reached forward and removed more tissue paper reveling, leather. That’s all he could see and it was the good stuff to. Wil pulled it from the box, a leather trench coat. It looked a lot like the one he used to have. He jumped from the couch to put it on and smiled at C. She walked around him. “It’s a good fit. Looks good too. What do you think?”

Wil sputtered, what did he think? This was the first real thing anyone had given him in years, besides his new boots, and it was perfect. He smiled at her shyly. “Feel’s like home thank you luv.”

Queen blushed at the complete sincerity of the soft words. “Don’t thank me. Thank Angel. It’s his money and he said I could get whatever.”

Wil turned to Angel and before he could try to force more words out in front of people, Angel raised his hand. “No, Queen bought it. There’s no need.” Wil sat back down between Xan and Spike, where he felt the safest.

Xan returned the box that had been thrown onto him in Wil’s speed to try the coat on. There were a few black shirts, black jeans and colored button shirts, but nothing had Wil’s attention like the coat.

Spike made sure his counterpart was set and not going to throw anything else, before he finished tearing into his own box. He hoped she’d forgone the leather duster, cause he wasn’t giving his up.

There was a gun, a knife, and another spike, which he picked up and twirled expertly, causing this universe’s Cordelia to back away. She turned to her counterpart. “You had to buy them something deadly, didn’t you?”

Her counterpart grinned. “Of course.”

Spike took the articles and placed them next to him on the couch. It wasn’t like he’d ever get to use them. The chip would fry him and they weren’t really effective on demons, well maybe the knife. He smiled up at her anyway and she made a motion for him to continue.

He did so. There wasn’t a leather coat but there were clothes, all black and in his style, with a couple of button down shirts of various colors. Spike did notice they were exactly the same as his counterparts. Oh well, his counterpart would be gone soon and he’d be saved from being a twin.

When his counterpart left. Spike glanced at Wil from the corner his eye. He didn’t want him to leave. He’d been alone for so long and this was the first being to be there when the nightmares came. The first person that understood, he pushed the feelings down. They had no choice.

He flashed a smirk at Queen C and stood from the couch as his counterpart had done, but unlike his shy counterpart. He took her hand and brought her close, kissing her lightly on the cheek. “Thank you.”

She looked dazed when he released her. G snorted and rolled his eyes at them both, before taking C’s hand and leading her away. Spike plopped back onto the couch consciously sitting as close to his counterpart as he dared. Enough to sneak a hand squeeze when no one looked.

Xan caught Angel’s gaze and motioned towards the ignored weapons on the couch. Angel nodded back, indicating he too had noticed. Spike had such a look of longing and Will such terror, whenever either came in contact with the weapons.

In this glance both Xan and Angel realized the changes in the once carefree blond vampires ran deeper than they’d ever realized.

They broke eye contact. Unable to handle to pain and guilt in each other’s eyes and each in their own way resolved to make past wrongs right. No matter the cost.


	10. Welcome to Hell

Part 10

“Sod off, Peaches.”

Angel pulled his chair even closer to the couch and watched his boys with eagle eyes as the blonds finished another bag. Out of god knew how many bags of blood and it was the good stuff.

By Angel’s estimation, it was roughly a little more than one whole human and the blonds looked ready to burst. Angel was a little concerned. They should’ve been able to eat more than this. “I am not going to ‘sod off’. Here have another bag.” He tossed the full one to Spike, as Wil was still working on his. Everyone, but Xan, was on the other side of the room, far away from the feeding vampires and the bickering.

Spike tossed the empty at Angel, who caught it and put it in the trashcan near by, before motioning at the full bag. Spike looked down at it and made ready to toss it at his ‘weird arse’ sire’s face.

Angel raised his hand. “Do it lad and everyone in this room will be witness to the punishment.” Spike saw the flash of yellow and not willing to give Buffy more to use against him. He started in on the new bag.

Xan was tempted to say something. They looked about ready to hurl and Xan wasn’t sure if vampires could hurl, but if they did these would be the candidates. However, this wasn’t his expertise, it was Angel’s. He should just sit here and stay out of it. Surely, the older vampire wouldn’t make them sick. If Angel thought they needed this much blood then he’d go along with it. Till it made them sick that is.

Wil handed over the empty, slightly shaking as he took the new. God he hadn’t fed like this in years. It too much, all the blood turning inside him, filling places and he felt so full but after his sire’s threat to Spike. He didn’t dare say anything.

Angel kept exchanging the empty for full bags and anytime either of the blonds looked ready to quit he flashed his teeth and yellow eyes. Angel felt a pair of eyes drilling into the side of his head. He faced Xan’s glare silently, begging for him to leave it.

Thankfully, Xan turned his attention to Wil. Angel was finally satisfied when there was a rosy coloring to the blonde’s cheeks and they appeared completely filled. Though it had only taken roughly less than 2 humans worth to fill them.

It was enough. Angel collected the empty bags that hadn’t made it to the trash. When he sat up both blonds flinched away from him and into the back of the couch, expecting more blood to be forced on them. “That’s enough lads, you did fine.” He turned to Xan. “Be ready.”

Xan’s temper flared. “Be ready for what? What have you done?” He caught Wil before he hit the floor and Angel leaned forward to catch Spike. Xan cradled the lax body in his arms. “What the hell Angel? Did you drug them?”

Angel let his anger flare in response, yellow eyes flashing. Xan was loud enough to draw the others attention and now they all were watching the face off.

It revoked old memories for those of the new order world. For those of this universe it was a totally new experience, a ‘Xander’ standing up to Angel and not backing down.

Angel held Spike’s body carefully and laid him delicately down on the couch. “No nothing like that. Do you think I would drug my own childer? I overfed them and now their bodies are using, the very much-needed substance, to heal, repair and to put them back into better health. Vampire bodies shut down when they’re overfed after long periods of starvation.”

Xan felt slightly ashamed but not enough to back down. “You could have warned me.”

Now Angel looked a little sheepish before he smiled. “It was funnier this way. You should have seen your face.” He’d teach this guy to use him as a stress release.

Xan laid his precious weight on the couch, letting him curl up to his counterpart, making sure both were fine. He glared back to the smiling vampire. “Do I look like I’m laughing?”

Unsure how to calm the thick air around them, the others looked to each other and Giles dared to interrupt. “If you gentlemen are quite done? We have something to discuss.”

One more glare to the vampire and a softer look to the blonds and Xan made his way to the table. All the signs pointed to there was something on the watcher’s mind. He was cleaning his glasses and Xander and Anya had broken apart, must be serious.

Xan congratulated himself on never being that whipped and physically stopped himself from looking back at the couch. Xan took a seat at the end of the table, directly opposite of the watcher. He let Angel sit between him and Giles. That way if he got up to strangle the man for any reason the vampire would be there able to stop him. “What did you need to talk about Giles?”

“We,” he waved a hand to indicating the Wesley’s, “have been discussing something and we thought we’d bring it to your attention.”

“And ‘it’ would be?” Xan wished for a cup of coffee, a magazine, something. This man had a serious love of hearing himself talk.

“I was thinking, perhaps we could send back a few things to help your fight like,” Giles started to fumble with the words and Xan straightened in his seat. This wasn’t pleasure- this was business.

“Such as?”

“Supplies, some magic spells, weapons. You name it and we’ll see if we can get it. I do seem to remember having a rocket launcher around here somewhere.”

Xan saw the sincerity in the watcher’s eyes and those of their universe standing around them. They wanted to help and Xan was damned if he was going to turn that down.   
“Anything you can do would be greatly appreciated and in advance. I,” Xan looked at his teammates, “we thank you.”

Giles clasped his palms together. “Having said that. We’ll get to work on putting something together. Any questions?”

Xan couldn’t help himself. He saw his counterpart ready to make some smart assed remark and for once he let himself go. “Yeah, I have a question. Who discovered that you could get milk from cows and what the hell did he think he was doing at the time?”

Giles paused to answer, before realizing everyone, including Angel, was laughing and reviewed in his mind what had been said. He threw a dirty look at the man and pulled away from the table. He glared briefly at his own universe’s Xander for good measure.

In the next few hours, Xan could only shake his head as the pile of donations grew. These people had enough firepower to take out a small planet and more was coming out of the storage room all the time.

Then again on both sides of the mirror they all had the thankless job of saving the world. Except in his world the enemy wasn’t to be named weekly.

Xan wandered back from checking on the blonds. Everyone had paused, whenever they past the couch, with various degrees of ‘ah how cute’ plastered on their faces.

Xan was honestly starting to wonder about their Xander. Maybe Xander had better taste then he’d given him credit for. If he was looking at the blonds like that than he must of had at least a thought or two about them horizontal. In Xan’s opinion it would be best if Xander kept those opinions to himself. Unless he wanted to find out what it would be like to be killed by a guy wearing his face.

Xan hoped he had a better time of keeping his emotions off his face than his counterpart did, because his own were definitely more of the R rated sort. Xan torn his eyes away from the couch as Angel approached and he walked away as Angel looked down. Even he felt it was rude to interrupt Angel in the middle of worship.

So peaceful, so perfect my boys. Angel tried to resist the urge to push their hair back from their faces or to give any of the soft touches he longed to. They looked so young and fragile. Once upon a time that had been just a look. An extra something that fooled people into trusting the wide, blue eyes but now it wasn’t. They were fragile and it torn at his soul.

The soul was saddened and the demon screamed for revenge. Angel agreed. However, it would be done his way, with none of that throwing the world into hell nonsense. That had proven to be just counterproductive.

Absentmindedly, his hand left his side to brush back the unruly blond mass of hair on his Spike then ran a finger down the other’s face. Noticing what he was doing, he pulled his hand back. Even as out of it as they were, it had been awhile since Angel had been in this condition and who knew what they would remember.

Besides he had an issue to take care off. He pulled himself away from the couch. “Giles, may I talk to you for a moment?”

Giles looked up from where he was explaining something to Queen C. He made his excuses to her and placed an object, much like a strong tazor into the woman’s hand, before walking towards Angel. “Of course.”

Angel waited till they were out of earshot before turning to watcher. He struggle and won the fight to keep his voice soft. “Giles, I like you and I respect you. So don’t take this the wrong way but if you ever, and I mean ever, drug any blood you plan on feeding my boy again. I will kill you. Do you understand?”

Giles at first looked shocked and then logic and understanding pulled the shades up. He was a watcher and knew enough about the strangeness and strength of the sire-childe bond. Angel could threaten and painfully punish Spike, but for anyone else it was a death sentence.

This was a father protecting his child. No matter what species and Giles had to respect it and be thankful he was alive to agree. “Of course Angel, never again. But you must understand he,”

“I don’t care to hear it Giles. No excuses. Will you comply?”

“Yes.”

“Then we’re done here. So need some help moving anything?” Angel led them back further into the shop, where the others could hear them.

Buffy had recently returned from patrolling to find she’d been volunteered for heavy moving detail. She gave Giles a look that suggested this would be asked about later. Giles nodded, hell he was just happy to have survived it.  
He shook his head no towards Angel. Only to find the vampire had already joined Xan at the couch and was no longer paying him any mind, which suited Giles very well right now.

Angel and Xan were looking down at their angels. They had a twisted interpretation of heaven obviously.

Angel smiled down at blond vampire’s their skin was almost rosy. Then BAM, which incidentally was the noise his head made when it hit the wall. Angel decided three things instantaneously. 1. Ouch! 2. Spike was awake and he was not happy. And 3. Damn, now he remembered the reason why if you wanted to keep Spike as a pet, you did not feed him well.

Spike growled in full game face. “What the hell did you do to us, wanker?”

Angel shook his head trying to clear it. He wasn’t quite sure how Spike didn’t know what had been done to him. He must have skipped that lesson. Was a father’s work never done? “I overfed you. You fell out trying to make up for lost time. Let me go, now.”

Spike slammed him once more before letting go. “Warn a bloke next time.”

Angel staggered from the wall. Damn, he’d forgotten what a punch that kid packed. Xan was talking quietly to Wil, who looked better and since Xan had that under control. It was up to him to tackle hurricane Spike.

Queen C got to Spike first. “Oh you’re awake, do you feel better? I brought your duster from the hotel, all clean.” She fetched the duster from the chair it was draped over.

Angel wandered towards his boy, wondering why the hell these people liked his brat so much, when most couldn’t stand the crude punk. Spike slipped the duster on over the sweater. “Ta pet, fancy staying here and letting the silly bit take your place?”

She laughed. “I wish. This is a much calmer world.” She cast an eye at the couch and the men who sat on it, then to G, who was approaching them as he carried an armload of supplies. “But who’d keep them in line?”

Xan pulled himself from the couch and his shadow followed. “Now Spike, G would be very upset if his lady love chose to stay here. Not to mention we’d lose our best recruiter.”

“Giles!!!” The shrill shriek came from Buffy, swinging everyone’s head towards the situation.

A large blue circle was forming and Buffy’s scream had brought everyone from the back, running into the main room.

Xan called out above the sudden wind and noise. “Be ready, it’s got to be from our world. Grab a weapon!”

Quickly a semi circle was formed far back from the mouth of the circle. Two large masses stepped from the circle momentarily confused. Buffy called out. “Friends of yours?”

“No! Enemy shoot!” A wave of fire, bullets, arrows and a green bolt rained upon the figures and the first line dropped. Yet more demons poured from the circle, bodies piled and Xan knew it wouldn’t be long before one got through. Thanks to the witches, the pile was pushed clear of the circle, not giving anything a chance to hide.

Seeing fire rain from the witches, Xan called out. “Stop-figure out a way to stop this or move it! Now! We can’t let them through!”

A figure came through the light. One that looked all too human and yet bullets, bolts and green lightening only fazed away, leaving him untouched.

He looked around and unlike those before him. He was clear in his directive and seeing the blond vampire’s, he grinned nastily. “William, baby I was wondering where you had gotten to and look you found another, double the pleasure.”

Xan had never heard a scream like that from a living or un-living being. Xan pushed the blonds behind him and screamed to the witches. “NOW!”

Their Willow looked up and saw Giles. “We’re dropping the floor, READY, HANG ON!”

Giles caught on and grabbed everyone he could, while yelling. “OFF THE FLOOR!”  
Giles grabbed his chosen one and threw her towards the stairs. Various people jumped onto counters and such. Giles was about to grab the stairs himself, when the floor went out from under him.

Xan watched the circle tilt then slide to the floor. He readied himself as the form of the elder dropped and floor disappeared.

Angel saw the watcher disappear and was unable to get there in time to pull him up. Angel jumped forward as Xan was engulfed and disappeared, taking both Spikes with him.

Angel yelled in desperation and did not think. He too jumped into the hole. No choice was his last thought as he fell.

Xan dusted himself off. Now this was the magic shop he remembered. He smiled at the guns surrounding him, well now he knew he was back. Having a gun in his face was just like home.   
He surveyed the scene. The elder was surrounded and it looked like they’d brought some guests back with them.

Angel picked himself off the floor. It was the magic shop, but it looked like it was slanted in seventh level of hell. A sign rattled across from him on the wall, moving from the residue wind of the long gone portal. He struggled to make out the words. “When you die you’ll go to heaven. Till then, WECOME to Hell.” Angel thought he’d recognized the design style from his own stint in hell.

Xan helped his guests from the floor, noting not a gun had dropped from them. When Queen C trained them, she trained them right. Now all he had to do was make them believe it was he and that they were back, with interest.

Till then he greeted his guests. “Welcome to my side of the mirror, otherwise known as hell.”


	11. Inside the looking Glass

Part 11

“Reboot, baby what do I have to do to convince you it’s us?” They’d been in a stand off for the last 10 minutes, surrounded by guns and unbelieving faces. Xan could plainly see Reboot wanted to believe it was them, wanted too with all her heart, which was precisely why she didn’t.

“No man, what I see is two Xan’s clones with an elder, who came through a portal with him.” Reboot said these words, dismissing him and stared at her wife, or what she believed was a clone of her wife. Xan watched her tears gather.

A thin man stepped up next to Reboot with ratty, dark blond hair and dirty clothing. “I say we shoot them and let God sort it out. Our leaders are dead and this is an insult to their memory.”

Reboot turned on him. “Riley, I am not going to shoot anything that looks like our leaders, without being damn sure they’re clones.”

Reboot turned away from the man. “Alright you say, you guys went through a portal at the W&H headquarters and instead of taking you here, it took you to another universe. Where there was no new order and this elder came through a portal after you. Then Red moved the portal and you all fell through here.”

Reboot looked over each new person assembled before her. “Bringing Giles who’s dead. Angel who disappeared, another you.” Her eyes misted as they moved over Red and several tears escaped, running unchecked down her face when she looked at the blond vampires. “Two Spikes, when ours was captured four years ago. That’s a pretty weak story, man.”

“I know Re but it’s all true.” Xan glanced around him and saw the pile of supplies being routed through at their far left. “I brought you a coffeemaker. Darling, theres got to be a way.”

Reboot smiled at the coffeemaker comment, but it was short lived. She turned to Riley and he handed her a tissue. She wiped her tears quickly. “Why Riley, why them? I could shoot anyone else, easy. Oh God, I can’t make this decision.”

Riley held her arm and Xan was sure it was only thing that held her up. “You won’t have to. We’ll put it to a vote.”

“A vote! Riley are you mad? Do you think anyone can vote on this? We’d follow these people into hell without blinking and now you’d have me ask them to vote whether or not we kill them. If they really are the real things this army would fall apart! We have to be able to prove they’re clones and I will NOT be pardon to their murder! Until it can be proven to me.”

Riley nodded. “Alright, Reboot you’re the boss. We’ll do it your way, but when we prove they’re clones. Then it will be my turn.” He turned from Reboot, to the circle of well-armed guards standing around the elder.

The elder they had rendered powerless by removing his precious armband while he’d been struggling to get his ass off the floor. “Let’s get this asshole locked up. Place him in the high security cell, with four guards, until we figure this out and I get a chance to chat with him.” Without the armband, the elder was easily convinced to go as the demons with the guns directed him.

Xan racked his brain. There had to be a way. He could see Willow trying not to rush to her mate’s side. That was the kind of action he had to forestall. It could lead Reboot to making hasty judgments out of grief. He held up his hand, making sure his people knew not to say or do anything and let him do the talking. Hopefully, their tagalongs got the gist.

Willow looked at him, one eye tearing and full of misery. The E-eye, damn he was the seventh son of an idiot. “Reboot, your daughter she has an E-eye. She’ll be able to tell the difference between us and clones.”

Riley snickered at him and spun Reboot to face him. “Re, we can’t let a nine-year-old make this decision.”

Xan pushed. “We’re not. We’re letting someone trained to use the E-eye make the decision. Reboot, she’s been training for years to use that eye, ever since she was three and lost hers. She’ll know.”

Now Willow was crying and Reboot, her-own heart aching, nodded. “Fetch my daughter, Buffy, to me.” Armed guard brought in a little girl with long blond hair and one sweet green eye and another of machine gray. Before the little girl could see why everyone was standing around, Reboot spun her away and dropped to her knees in front of her.

So all could hear her instructions, leaving the answer to be above question. Reboot cupped her sweet face and spoke loudly. “My daughter, we have worked a long time telling fake people from real people. I need you to close your pretty green eye tight and no peaking. Let E-eye tell mom who these people are. Now you have to be very sure before you tell me okay, this is very important.”

Reboot leaned forward and kissed little Buffy on the head. “Do you understand? Can you do this? Be sure and if you can’t, tell mom now and we’ll find another way.”

“Oh mom, you know I can. Just leave it up to me.” The little girl even sounded a little like her namesake, confident and mature.

Reboot released the girl and took her hand, leading her to the front of the circle. One eye was tightly shut, so the little girl wouldn’t know whose life signs she was looking at.   
Xan could hear the vampires behind him hold unneeded breaths. Giles and his own counterpart tensed besides him. Xan wasn’t worried, neither was his team. They knew, like he did, E-eye didn’t lie.

The process only took a few minutes. Xan felt the E-eye scan him and those around him then her green eye opened. The little girl shrieked. “MOMMY!” Willow hit her knees as the little girl launched herself at Willow. Willow held her close and cried into her daughter’s hair.

Reboot stood frozen her hand was still in the air where it had been resting on the girl’s shoulder. A chocked sob came from her throat and she hit the floor. Unable to regain her footing, the woman crawled the few feet to Willow and grabbed both woman and little girl in a hug. She screamed through her tears. “Praise God! My wife has been returned to me. Oh God thank you! IT’S THEM!”

The crowd was silent while the words rippled through and then the cheers and grateful yells erupted. Xan felt his blond vampire duck behind him as a flood of people rushed forward and he held up his hands to stop the flow, before they were overcome.

“My People, my friends, and my colleges, we’re glad to be back. Now did you really think one suicide mission would stop us? We’re back with interest, like I mentioned these are our counterparts. They’re not used to our ways so let’s not overwhelm them. Before we celebrate, we have to see where we stand. Then we’ll celebrate not only our return but the capture of our first elder!”

The crowd cheered and stomped at the end Xan’s speech. Xan was just glad he hadn’t lost his touch. Riley called out over the loudness of the room. “Everyone get back to where you’re supposed to be and spread the word. Xan’s back!”

The crowd broke apart, slipping out into the world and into secret places within the walls and floorboards. Riley walked up and took Xan’s forearm in a strong warriors grip. “Xan, I’m sorry. I just, I’m so glad to see you.”

The strangers to this universe had to hold back their surprise when Riley hugged Xan, and Xander let loose a strangled coughed. Xan patted Riley’s back with a smile. “Me too, Ri, glad you didn’t decide to let God sort it out.”

“I thought you were dead. No one’s ever survived going to the headquarters. No one and when you didn’t come back. We were so sure. We were mounting an attack on the headquarters. Thank god you’re back.”

Xan’s smile dropped. “You were planning, what? Are you trying to get everyone killed? Riley, what the hell were you all thinking? You would’ve just died. They would’ve wiped you guys out. You know we don’t attack the headquarters by frontal assault.”

“But Xan, you were gone and Reboot, well she couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t handle it, we were falling apart,” Riley stiffened as anger twisted his features. “WE NEEDED YOU AND YOU LEFT! We thought you were dead and there was nothing left to do but follow you and take as many with us as possible.”

“Oh Ri,” he patted the man's shoulder, “I’m here and I’m not going anywhere, alright. I’m sorry but we had to do it. You know that.” The anger drained from the man’s face leaving hope.

“Yeah, I know. So where is the brat?” He dismissed the other Spike as being the one Xan had pointed out as being the counterpart. “Cause all I’m seeing is the other one and after all this you’d better not have failed.”

“Have you ever known me to fail?” Xan moved aside. The crowd had all gone their separate ways leaving Wil a little better off. However, he was still shaken after seeing the elder and had not moved from where he hid behind Xan. He glared as his stand between moved to the side and looked up at Riley through thick bangs.

Angel grabbed the collar of his Spike. He was well aware of Spike’s hatred of the counterpart Riley. Angel hoped for Xan’s welfare, from himself, if Riley said anything.

Riley just stared for a moment, taking in the hair, the stance, and then glanced at the counterpart. Who was much more like the Spike he remembered but he didn’t ever remember Spike wearing too big silk and sweaters. Deciding Xan knew what he was doing and this was their Spike, he shook off the shock.

“Hey, little bro. How ya doin? Long time no see.” The tone was soft concerned and it threw the visitors for a loop. Angel dropped his hold on Spike, who stood there gapping at the man. Giles looked for a chair and finding one, sank into it. Xander used his own hand to close his mouth.

“Hello Ri.” The blonde’s reply was barely above a whisper. Angel almost hit the floor when the shock didn’t stop there.

Riley briefly hugged the blond and mumbled into his hair. “I was so worried about you.”

Riley looked hurt when the blond flinched from the hug and jumped back as if burnt. Xan caught his eye and nodded to let it drop, they’d go into it later. Riley’s face masked over the hurt. “All the same, little bro. It’s good to have you back.”

The blond nodded and gave the soldier a small smile before again hiding behind Xan.

Taking the attention from the blond, Xan addressed the small party still standing around. “Queen, G get the supplies where they need to go, grab all the help you need. Wes help them out and Queen don’t let Wes play with anything. I want to keep this place standing. Queen smiled and saluted. Wes mumbled but followed her. “Giles, Angel, Xander and Spike stick with me.”

G and Queen with Wes in tow jumped into action. The others nodded, having no clue what else they might have done. Xan turned towards the women, who had regained their footing and were still crying and hugging. “Will, Reboot, I need to be updated and I need you to gather everyone that’s been making decisions.” At the women’s despairing look he continued. “Will, I’ll have her back to you soon. In the meantime why don’t you spend time with your daughter.”

“I’ll be in the conference room. Don’t be long.” He started towards the back of the shop, the others followed behind.

The back was nothing like Giles remember it. It was still a training room, but it was far more violent looking, not to mention rag-tagged. Xan led them pass odd machines and targets towards the supply closet, much like they had in the back of their magic shop.

Xander looked at his counterpart. “You guys meet in a closet?”

Xan smiled. “Yeah, the table just fit.” Still shaking his head at his counterpart, Xan opened the door and mumbled below his breath before hitting something. His hand moved so fast no one was quite sure what he’d done but the wall of guns slid away and revealed stairs.

Xan started down the spiral and heard Wil behind him but no one else and glanced back. “Hey come on or stay up there. That door closes either way.” Spike jumped down the stairs and Angel followed. The rest moved forward with a little more caution.

At the bottom of the stairs Angel couldn’t help but whistle. It looked like miles of clean tunnels, but that wasn’t what made Angel whistle and Giles catch his breath. It looked like hundreds of people down here all doing various tasks. An underground city, with stalls set up for bargaining, people working and living.

Xander babbled. “Oh wow, look at this place. What is it?”

Giles continued, not letting Xan even answer. “How did you?”

Xan held up a hand as people waved and yell their greetings, yet continued working. He turned left and walked down a tunnel making sure to say something to everyone they past by. Grasping hands and hello’s to all as he spoke over his shoulder to his group. “This is our city. Everyone that wants to get away from Wolfram & Hart comes here. All they have to do to stay here is live in peace, no fighting among ourselves- human- demon. I don’t care as long, as you obey the rule.”

Xan tossed a look back at Angel, knowing Spike wouldn’t need this information. “Vampires are welcome as well, but they cannot feed here. These tunnels were made by magic and cannot be detected by anyone. Nor can they be found by anyone that doesn’t know they exist. This is our main headquarters, our city, and our home.”

Xan turned down another corridor and hugged a child that reached for him and a mother, who cried at seeing him. She gasped her hands over her mouth to muffle the sobs. “I heard, but I did not believe. You have returned to us.”

“Of course Anna, you know me. I’m not one to leave in the middle of a war. How about you cook me up some of your special chocolate cookies? I’d love some.”

The woman beamed. “Oh yes, I will get to work on a whole batch.” She bounced away child on her hip and two more trailing behind her.

Giles stared. This man was a messiah to these people and it startled him to the core that Xan was capable of this. He was told but to see it, it was amazing. He looked towards his own Xander, who seemed to be in shock. Xander watched as people looked at his counterpart and him by proxy with such hope and reverence.

Angel spoke up. “Do all these people fight?”

Xan stepped around a small child playing with toy soldiers and as they past the child said. “I am Xan and I will make the bad guys all go away.” Xan patted his head and the child grinned up at him.

“No, Angel. I’m not a monster only those who want to fight actually fight.”

Angel faltered in his step and walked quickly up to the man. “No, that’s not what I meant. I just wondered about the number in your army.”

“There’s enough to give Wolfram & Hart cause to hate us and not enough to stop them. Here we are.” Xan opened a metal door, standing aside, as everyone filed through.

Xan waited until they were all in before attempting to get in the doorway. “Hey, I know it’s not much but can you all move into the room so I can at least shut the door.”

He pushed through them. A large, oval wooden table took up much of the room. One wall had breaks in the metal for narrow glass. The wall behind the table was a map of Sunnydale and L.A with blinking lights and circles. The other wall was a matrix of wires and machinery.

Xan took his seat at the head of the table before the map and in clear view of the rest of the room and the door. He leaned back in his chair waving and smiling at the narrow glass. When he turned to face those still gathered at the door, the smile dropped a little. “Alright, Wil take your usual seat. It will do people good for them to see you. The rest of you stay back and out of the way and don’t say anything.”

Angel nodded and pulled Spike away from the door and behind Xan, where they would be the most out of the way. Giles and Xander moved further down the same wall, away from the door. “What about getting us home?” The watcher sounded nervous to Xan’s ears.

“Giles, I know right now that’s the main concern for you but you have to understand, it’s not for me, not right now. I have to figure out where we stand and get things back in gear, before I can tackle your problem. However, as soon as it’s feasible, I will have people working on it. Agreed?”

Giles had no doubts Xan’s word was good. He also had no doubt that this man would lock him away if he did not agree and would do so without any thoughts or guilt. “Yes, of course.”

“Thank you for your understanding.” Xan studied the room, looking more relaxed now, than any other time they’d seen the man.

He turned his attention to Wil. “You don’t have to say or do anything. Let me do all the talking.” Wil nodded. Xan figured Riley would have gotten the word around before they showed up and no one would bother the vampire. If they did, they’d answer to him, his vampire. Where did that come from?

The door opened and the same multicolored haired woman, Reboot, entered. She was followed by three people, one of them being Riley. Reboot sat next to Wil but said nothing to him, just smiled and seemed happy with the shy smile that was returned. Riley sat next to Xan and nodded to Angel and Spike at the wall. “Should we wait for the other leaders?”

“No, they’re busy dealing with being back. I’ll fill them in later. Let them talk to their families and friends.”

“Alright. Well Reboot and I have been making most the decisions, but Mike here helped and so did Rachel, so I figured I’d better bring them.”

The other mentioned two stood at the door nervously and Xan motioned them forward. “Have a seat we’re on the same side.”

The man, Mike coughed. “It doesn’t seem right, for us to sit at the table.”

Xan shrugged. “It’s just a table. Sit and tell me what the blazes is going on around here?”

The two hustled into the seats closest to the door. “Reboot, report.”

“Xan, we’ve been pretty quite since you’ve been gone.”

“What about the transport we had planned to stop.” Xan stared at the people sitting around them. They shrunk in their seats and looked at each other.

Finally Reboot spoke up. “Um, we didn’t get to it. We were to busy planning an attack.”

Xan exploded out of his seat, causing everyone in the room to shrink back. “I was gone 36 hours and you people fall apart. In 36 hours! I heard about this attack and whose brainchild was that piece of stupidly?”

Riley and Reboot looked at each. “Ours Xan.” Riley mumbled.

“Since nothing has happened in the last 36 hours besides this readying for an attack you two can go.” Xan nodded towards Mike and Rachel and they were out the door before Xan finished his words. With a heavy sigh Xan dropped back into his seat. “Why? We’ve talked about this.” Xan dropped his head into his hands.

Reboot opened her mouth took a deep breath and began again. “We know it was only 36 hours but Xan that was lifetime of problems and decisions. I couldn’t do it, plan attacks, move people in here and talk to spies. Hell Xan no one would listen to me and your spies wouldn’t even talk to me.”

Riley picked up when Reboot dropped her head. “It was the only thing we could do. The only thing people wanted to hear is that we were going to fight to get you all back or die trying. It was the only thing they would hear. Otherwise no one would do anything, they wanted to die.”

Xan raised his head, tears shinning his eyes. “You have to be stronger than that. When we go, you have to carry on. My god what about all those people in these tunnels, the children, who would have protected them?”

Reboot and Riley stared at the tabletop. Reboot mumbled. “We were going to leave people to take care of them.”

“Yeah, take care of them, who was going to bring food in here? Who was going to give them hope? There are thousands of people within the city, with stores and an economic system, living their lives down here. Without some kind of leadership, the city would be destroyed. We have more threats than just the new order, bandits, marauders, and god knows who else could move in. You cannot rely on us completely. One day we will go out there and we will NOT come back. It’s the risk we all take.”

Reboot turned red with the force of her emotion. “Not you Xan, not my wife, and not the rest of the leaders. I’m sorry, but if you do go out there and don’t come back. I will do the same thing and I’m sorry if that disappoints you, but I don’t give a damn.” Reboot stood in her chair and it fell to the floor behind her. She looked at Xan. “You had better be careful in the future Xan. That’s all I have to say.” She went around Wil and gave Xan a hug before running from the room.  
Riley stood as well and watched Reboot leave the room. He leveled his gaze at Xan. “I’m sorry Xan. I really am, next time I’ll try to be stronger. Till then I’ll pray there’s not a next time.” Xan nodded weakly as Riley left the room at a slower pace.

Before the man was fully out the door, Xan called out, “Ri.” The man turned in the doorway. The light making the shadows under his eyes stand out clearer.

“Make sure there’s a change of guards on the elder every two hours. I want the guards fresh and on the look out for anything and tell them I’ll be down soon. After that, you and Reboot take the day off and rest, you deserve it.” Riley smiled weakly and shut the door behind himself.

Xan slumped in his seat, only to straighten seconds later and wave in response to a knock on the glass. “Alright, I’m going to find some rooms for you all. Some of you might have to double bunk. We’re short on room down here.” Xan’s eyes landed on Angel. “I don’t suppose you’d care to make yourself useful. The Angel I knew had some very interesting ways of making people talk.”

Angel smirked, more devil than angel in the dark eyes. “It’d be my pleasure.”


	12. To See Red

“And why the hell not, Peaches?”

Angel sighed and looked around the room, “Because I said so.” Angel had to admit Xan’s room wasn’t half bad as far as rooms in tunnels went.

“I have a right to be there. I know just as much about torture as you do.” Spike wasn’t content to look as Angel was. Spike opened boxes, drawers, and anything else that caught his eyes.

“Spike, don’t look through Xan’s things.” Angel tried to keep the weariness out of his voice. Xan hadn’t been kidding about the lack of room. Giles and Xander had a small closet right next to this room.

He, Spike, Wil, and Xan had to share Xan’s, being he had the largest room, two bedrooms and all. What concerned Angel right now were the sleeping arrangements more than anything else.

“He said to make myself comfortable and I’m going with you.” Spike rolled his eyes and continued to ‘look’ around. He couldn’t understand why Angel was being such a wanker. He had every right to help torture the elder.

“No William and I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” Spike left the drawer he was looking into open and stormed across the room and into Angel’s face.

“Who the hell do you think you are? Telling me wot I can and cannot do? I am a master vampire. I am- wanker.”

Angel was expecting the first punch, but wasn’t ready for it and slowly picked himself off the floor. His lip already healing, his tongue slid out and caught the precious fluid.

The older vampire took in the proud stance of the blond, the fists ready to fight and tense body. The ‘fuck you and the world too’ look in those oh so blue eyes. The ‘come on’, smirk and as a sire he’d never been prouder. Ever since this roller coaster had begun he had smelt fear off Giles, Xander, but not his boy.

This one would last. This boy had lived through abandonment from his sire, from Dru, the contempt of Darla, rape, abuse, and a modification chip. Then on top of it all his childe had suffered the worst humiliation for a vampire ever, to beg for help from the slayer and yet he was ready to fight. A hundred and twenty something odd years ago, Angel hadn’t made someone immortal, but eternal. He was convinced this blond punk of a childe would outlive them all.

Till then, he still had time to see if his boy could love him with half the strength he loved this strange childe with.   
Angel approached the blond and reached out. Spike froze and Angel was sure he’d expected at the least a slap. Some Sire style punishment perhaps but he sure didn’t expected the hand cupping his face and the thumb tracing his bottom lip. Angel had to stop himself from smiling at the wide eyes and laughing in joy at the hope he found there. He didn’t want Spike to think this was a joke.

Angel let his other arm wrap around the waist of the blond, bringing him closer and unable to leave. Angel let his lips replace his thumb at the blonde’s mouth and smiled when Spike tried to find the earlier cut. He pulled back so he could look into the blue eyes. “I don’t want you near him. I know you’re a master vampire. I know you are incredible and strong but you’re my childe and I love you.”

“You love me?” The tilted head, the question, the wish.

Angel opened his mouth to reassure his boy to tell him how sorry he was for the past. His mouth snapped shut. He could say these things but never make it clear. He withdrew his hand from the lovely face and brought the wrist to his own mouth and bit.

His boy watched enamored and struggling to get closer. Angel spun Spike, smirking at the hiss of passion from blond and pulled the leather duster off, throwing it to the floor.

Not giving Spike the chance to rethink this or protest, Angel pulled him back so he was leaning back against him. One of his arms around the blonde’s waist, the other waved in front of Spike’s mouth. Angel felt the slim hands, like iron bands, clamp down and then the sweet mouth.

Angel walked backwards, remembering there was a chair. There had to be a chair, thankfully there was. The back of his legs hit it and he pulled Spike onto his lap. The blood spoke far more eloquently than he ever did.

Angel let his head drop back against the chair, when Spike moved in his lap. He glanced back down to see the blond had tilted his head, giving his sire a clear view of a marble neck, offering to him.

Angel couldn’t remember the last time Spike had offered. He bent his head towards the neck before the boy retook the invitation.

Xan reached back, trying to make sure Wil was behind him. As always the smaller hand squeezed his before releasing him. His shadow was so silent, not that he minded, just having the vampire close cleared Xan’s head and let him think.

Xan had offered to let the blond stay with Angel and Spike but when he went to leave. Wil took up right after him and it made Xan’s toes tingle.

Learning after the ‘Riley mistake’, Xan was careful to keep himself between any well wishers and the vampire. There were just a lot of well wishers and it took him twice the time it should have just to fill the team in on the situation since their impromptu trip.

If anyone noticed Xan was talking for the vampire or standing between them no one said anything, past looking at him oddly. Xan figured they all thought he was being over protective, which of course he wasn’t.

Xan also knew he was putting off a certain conversation. One he’d have to have with the vampire before he could question the elder. Damn it all. He had other things to do first. He wasn’t putting it off. He was belaying it for other matters.

Like talking to Giles and Xander. He stopped outside their room and though he was tempted to check on the vampires in his own room, right next door, he pushed it aside. He knocked on the right door. Giles answered and looked through a crack, before opening the door.

It was a wise precaution. Xan approved and walked in, knowing his shadow would follow but just in case he reached back. “Well what do you think of the room?” It was barely more than a closet. A set of bunk beds, a table with two wooden chairs and a small room off to the side that served as a bathroom.

Giles gave it the same once over. “It’s fine. I was quite afraid we’d end up sleeping in the tunnels.” Giles paused to look at Xander, who seemed preoccupied and staring at something. Following Xander’s eyes, Giles saw Xan was holding the vampire’s hand and wisely chose not to notice it.

“Na, the tunnels make lousy beds. Just wanted to see how things were and I wanted to mention somethings.”

“Of course, we’ll listen to any suggestions you have. I did have a question though. You mentioned Buffy was no longer the slayer.” He tried never to put Buffy and dead in the same sentence. “So who is your slayer?”

“Yeah, Buffy died some time ago. Willow named her daughter after her, in memory. Our slayer doesn’t leave the hellmouth portal Wolfram & Hart opened. She stands guard there. At the most, she gets about 15 feet away from where the actual opening is, if something comes through she kills it. She has help and we send some whenever she calls. Her names Faith and she’s one hell of a woman.”

Giles coughed over the word. “Faith?” Xander laughed.

Xan took in their reactions and waited for Xander to quit laughing before he responded in a serious tone. “Yeah Faith. Look I don’t know who or what she is in your world and I don’t want to know. Here she’s a good woman that saves this world daily, if not hourly. So if you want to keep your teeth I would only say her name with the greatest respect.” Xander stopped laughing, completely and Giles nodded in apology. “Yes, we’re sorry. It’s much different story on our side. You mentioned you wanted to tell us something.”

“You.” He pointed at Xander, who looked behind himself and then back to his counterpart with wide eyes. “Yes, you. You’re my counterpart and so people will look up to you. Perhaps even mistake you for me.”

Xander looked down at himself, his orange shirt and lack of beard. “I doubt it.” He mumbled.

“Worse mistakes have been made. So let me set you straight. If anyone asks you a question, don’t act like an idiot and don’t answer it if it’s for me. Just tell them you’re the counterpart. Most of all LOSE that shirt. I can’t have anyone looking like me walking around like a k-mart blue light special. Got it?”

Xander looked at Giles, who nodded, hell that shirt was blinding. “It’s very little to ask Xander. We are guests here and all.”

“But I like this shirt and what else could I wear?” Xander picked at his shirt sorrowfully.

“Come by my room and get something. Just don’t let anyone see you in that travesty of fabric. We’ll have to get some clothing for you people.” Xan added it to the list currently running in his head, schedule attacks, more guns, and meds. Supplies and clothing for the guest’s, handpicked for the fashion impaired.

“Now I hate to do this but can you guys go next door. I have to talk to Wil. He and I need some privacy.” Now Xan supposed he could have taken this conversation to his room, but he didn’t want witnesses. Or he could’ve taken it to his bedroom and shut the door, but he didn’t want to ruin that room for the vampire. He wanted that room to bring only happy thoughts. Boy, he was in deep here.

“Of course Xan. Come along Xander.” They went to the door and slipped out, before the door shut Xan called out. “Hey Xander, don’t be shy about getting another shirt. We’ll be over in about 20 or so.”

The door was shut without a reply, but Xan was sure his counterpart had stuck his tongue out at him. Something to mention later, don’t stick your tongue out at the leader unless you plan to use it. That would shock his counterpart into not doing it again. That or backfire and then he’d really have to look into hiring that shrink.

Wil followed him over to the bed. Xan sat down hard, trying to sort out how to bring up the conversation. The hand worked into his again and the blond looked up at him with so much trust. Xan felt the words choking in his throat.

Wil sighed. “His name’s Frank.”  
Thirty minutes later they emerged from the room. Xan’s face was a mask of cold fury and his hands shook with the attempt to keep it reined in.

He knew he didn’t want to know. He’d known it was best left for Wil’s nightmares. With anyone else it would’ve been. He would have just asked the questions he’d needed answered and left it at that.

But, it wasn’t someone else. It was Wil. Spike, the blond vampire, who was filling a place in Xan he’d thought long gone. He’d tried to make that part of himself as small as possible. Leaders couldn’t have favorites, couldn’t have someone they’d give anything for and couldn’t fall in love.

He took Wil’s nightmares into himself. In those dark places, Wil would no longer be alone and in that Xan showed himself where his heart had gone. No longer was his heart engaged in a war, but in the hand of a small fiery vampire.

Behind him, Spike had no idea where Xan’s thoughts had gone. No idea what he now held and no emotion on his face, but for slightly reddened eyes.

Xan turned towards his own room and paused before entering and stared at the door. He thought an attack was the only thing that caused the butterflies in him these days and was please to find that it wasn’t so. “I think. I’m falling in love with you.”

“Me too.” The soft cockney voice replied.

Xan whirled around. “You think you’re falling in love with you too or me?” He had to make this not serious, just in case he lost this.

“With you.” Xan made to grab Wil in a hug but paused, hands hanging in the air, unsure how the vampire would react. Wil smiled, stepped closer and Xan wrapped his arms around him.

“Really, cause I never thought, and I didn’t, you did, or would, and really?” Xan smacked the back of his head against the door. All the same when Wil nodded, Xan smiled his first real grin in years.

He remembered he’d promised himself he would smile more the day he rescued Wil. Now he had reason and a way to keep that promise. It dropped in seriousness with his next thought. “I’m going to rip his eyes out and give them to you as a gift, I swear.”

“Aw, you always know wot to get a bloke.” Xan shivered with the closeness of the vampire and whimpered when a soft kiss touched his neck. Then the blond pulled away and Xan, knowing he would never keep his new found love by hanging on, let him go.

Smiling at him, the blond touched his hand again. “I would prefer to get them myself.”

Xan had his doubts about letting ‘his’ vampire. Hey now he could say that, near the Elder but if it would bring some peace to Wil. “If he survives he’s yours.”

“He’ll survive. You don’t owe him like I do.” Xan had a feeling he was being manipulated, but since this was the most he’d heard Wil talk he let himself cave. It had nothing to do with that fact that he’d been kissed on the neck and his blood was quickly flowing south.

“Alright, but don’t let it get around. Caving is bad for my iron hand image.” Grin back in place, he turned again towards the door.

Walking in, Xan didn’t know exactly what to think. Angel and Giles sat across from each other. Xander was tearing threw his dresser and there was no loudness, it was quiet, too quiet. Angel had staked Spike.

They looked over as he came through the door and Xan could see the mop of blond hair on Angel’s shoulder. Alright so he hadn’t been staked but he was still awful quiet, which could only mean. He walked around to the front of the chair and sat down next to Giles. Wil perched on the couch arm next to him. Yep, Xan smiled, fast asleep. If Spike woke up in this predicament, Xan didn’t want to miss it.

Too bad they had some business to attend to. He tuned into what Giles’ was saying.   
“What information do you hope to obtain from this ‘Elder’?”

Xan shrugged and tried to pull Wil onto his lap, jealous of Angel, but the blond refused and he gave up. “Anything and everything he knows.”

“I could put a truth spell on him. It wouldn’t make him talk, but we would be able to tell the fact from the fiction.”

“Well then Ripper you’re with us. Deeming, you leave the Giles righteousness here.”

“Consider it left. Shall we be off then?” Giles slapped his hands against his knees and stood.

Angel nodded towards the burden in his arms. “Let me put him down first, which is our room?”

Giles’ eyebrows rose and Xander gapped from the dresser, a shirt dangling in his hands. Xan ignored them. “The room on the left.” He kept the YAY, to himself.

Wil leaned into him from the couch arm and whispered to Xan. “Remember, you promised.”

Xan whispered back. “Of course, never will I forget a promise to you. Will you take your counterpart with you? Please.” At least then he wouldn’t be alone.  
“As you wish.” Xan looked closely at the face and sighed with relief at the start of a smile he found there. He was going to say more, but Wil left the couch arm and followed Angel into the bedroom.

As soon as the vampires had disappeared, he left his seat and called to Xander, who looked at him over the collar of the shirt he was putting on. Messy hair and wide eyes were the only thing Xan could see but he heard the muffled yes.

Once the shirt was over his neck, Xan came close enough to him to speak in fast and low hushed tones. “You need to stay here. Make sure they do and watch over them.”

Xander swallowed hard. “How the heck am I going to stop them if they decide to leave?”

“You’re my counterpart. I have faith you’ll think of something but if anything happens to them. I’ll have one less counterpart. Do I make myself clear and besides I’ll post guards in the tunnels.”

“Umm, I get it. Consider me the vamp sitter just don’t take to long. They don’t have the best record of paying attention.”

Figuring this was the best he could do. Xan glared once more at Xander as Angel came into the room. Once Angel had got his glare in at Xander. Xander flopped onto the couch and made shoo movements towards the door.

They slipped out into the tunnels and shut the door. Xan walking slightly ahead to lead the way and turned slightly towards Giles, no he had left Giles in the room, towards Ripper, who had at some point taken off his glasses. “What do you need for the spell?”

The Ripper smiled and Xan was glad the smile wasn’t exactly for him. “Nothing. It’s a word spell. If I remember correctly, I just need to break three fingers to make it work properly.”

Xan didn’t know whether to believe that was really part of the spell or not, but fingers didn’t matter. “Alright, go ahead.”

They were soon were past all signs of people and the tunnel became quiet and empty, their shoes made the only sound, clapping against the steel. The walk ended at steel door, which Xan touched and it silently slid open beneath his hand.

The room was huge. It had to be the largest in the tunnels. Almost warehouse size and glass boxes with a metal following each corner, packed the room, cubes roughly 10x10.   
Many empty, some housing demons and humans in various stages of fury. They yelled and banged around inside their glass houses. Yet no sound was heard. Their faces clearly frozen in fits of madness no one could hear.

There were guards standing around in various corners and walls. Front and center, four guards stood around a cube, facing the glass and voice came over a speaker. “Leader Xan in the room.” The guards straightened in their already straight poses.

Angel was quite simply blown away. It was beyond anything he’d ever seen and looking at the other next to him. He could see the amazement in the watcher’s face as well. This was so far beyond their comprehension and experience. This was a whole different world, of this there were no more doubts and Angel knew, from now on he’d pay more attention. Angel tried to wipe the complete shock off his face and stepped closer to the man who had everyone’s attention. “Are these all the beings you’ve captured?”

“No, these are people I still need something from. We don’t take prisoners.”

Angel couldn’t argue with that but the respect he had for the man before him bloomed, into genuine like and respect. Who could fault someone so brutally honest and a first class warrior to boot? Xan was for winning this war and Angel grudgedly decided, perhaps he could trust leaving Wil in his hands.

Thinking of Wil, made him think of this bastard in the box. The bastard, who had dared touch what was his and the growl was out before he could force it back. When Xan turned he was looking into yellow speckled eyes. “I have to say something to the both of you before we proceed.”

Watching Ripper cracked his knuckles and Angel glare at the box. Xan knew he had to speak quickly before the dark impulses took over. “We have to leave him alive and mostly intact.”

Angel hissed. “Why? Do you think Wolfram & Hart will pay to have him back?”

Xan was hard pressed not to turn on the vampire for thinking he’d take the blood money of the monster. Not to mention return one to them. “I say this because I promised his death to another and since this is my show. I make that decision.”

“Who?” The vampire had little regret in his voice. Yet there was enough in his tone to acknowledge he’d made a mistake and knew it.

“Wil and Spike.”

Giles closed his mouth on whatever he was going to say. Angel looked ready to press it but Xan raised his hand towards the vampire. He turned and walked towards the box leaving both to catch up.

Angel mumbled beneath his breath as he approached the glass. “If he thinks I’m letting my boys near that monster,” but was cut off by a glare from the Ripper, who just wanted to get to business.

The cube held one chair, a bucket and the Elder. The man sat in his chair, looking at them, no expression on his face but a small tick by his eye.

Xan stared into the eyes of his prey and spoke. “Screen the box and no one bothers us, no one.”

He made way his towards the side door. Only noticeable by the metal surrounding it’s dimensions. Xan’s hand opened this as well. Ripper entered the glass cage, followed by Angel and then Xan, who shut the door behind him. A screen surrounded the box and Xan, flanked by his companions, studied the monster.

He looked so normal, so human. A human man, who was losing his boring brown hair, who was overweight and whose sweat bunched at his pits. A man, who had touched Wil, who had taken Wil’s voice and used him. A man, who had sold his soul with those very actions. A normal man, who most likely had a wife, children and maybe even a dog. A man named Frank, who hadn’t yet figured out he was already dead.

Frank studied them as well and mistakenly took Angelus for the greatest threat. Dismissing Xan and Ripper with a glance and watching the vampire with keen, small eyes.

“Frank,” The man looked at Xan and posed, leaning back into his chair at the silky use of his name, a fake smile plastered on face. Xan continued pleasantly. “I wish I could say it was a pleasure to meet you. It isn’t, but your screams might make up for having to look at you.”

The plastic smile slipped a little. Frank nervously ran a fat tongue over his bottom lip, still eyeing the vampire, who stalked around his chair silently. He looked up at Xan, realizing this was the leader here. “They’ll pay. You have no idea how much they’ll give you to have me back. I’m important. Really think of what you could do with all that credit.” The voice was full of nerves, no real fear, yet.

“Really.” Xan paused. As if he was thinking this over, wearing a smirk, not unlike one he’d seen his Wil use, full of cunning and promising.

“Oh yes, I’m very important. I mean a lot to Wolfram & Hart. I’m an elder, the lifeblood. They’ll even pardon you for your crimes, if you ask.”

“You’re that important, huh?” Xan itched his beard, his head tilted as if counting credits in his head. The Elder nodded repeatedly, moving back as Angelus picked up one of his hands.

“I guess there’s only one thing to do then.” The Elder’s plastic smile rose and he snatched his hand from the vampire. Xan looked down till he had the beady eyes looking into his own. “Find out exactly why you’re so important.”

For the first time since they’d walked into the room there was no smile on the man’s face. He squirmed in his seat. Xan could see the beads of sweat gathering on the high forehead. “Ripper, you want to begin that spell now.”

The elder focused his attention on the other man for the first time. “Rupert Giles, Ripper?”

Xan nodded, as the Ripper rubbed his hands together. “One and the same.”

The man moaned and closed his eyes briefly. Ripper moved in close, taking the Elder’s limp right hand into his own. “ÁëÞèåéá áðü áò íá åßìáé ãíùóôüò.” The Elder took a sharp breath and bit off the scream with his teeth as the first finger broke.

“Áò óçêþíïìáé ìÝóá óðáóìÝíïò êüêêáëï.” The finger next to the swollen, middle finger snapped with huffing breathes and yell from the man.

“Üðùò ÅÃÞ ëÝù áò áõôü íá åßìáé, åõëüãçóá íá åßìáé.” The Ripper move past the pinky to the pointer finger, which of all the fingers made the most noise, a crinkle and pop, the man screamed.

Ripper nodded his head and moved back. Xan looked at the swollen fingers, puffy and red twisted flesh. The man hugged his right arm with his left and Xan asked. “Is it done?”

“Yes, if he lies, those broken fingers will rise up.” A satisfied smile graced the watcher’s features and Xan could see Ripper greatly enjoyed his freedom.

Angel, or perhaps Angelus, stood watching. A look of contempt on his features, his eyes a flash dance between yellow and chocolate brown. “I say we get to the questions. So we can correct him when he’s wrong.”

Xan glanced at the vampire, who licked his lips and paid no attention to Xan or to Ripper grinning next to him. Xan turned to the figure in the chair, which was only concerned with his broken fingers. “Wolfram & Hart codes for the armories?”

“I don’t know scumbag.” He screamed, as the crippled fingers rose to stand straight up, before dropping.

Xan turned to the Ripper. “That works pretty good.”

“I seem to remember it working well the last time I used it on Ethan.”

Xan didn’t ask, instead he spoke to the vampire. “You’re up Angelus and remember what I said.”

“Can we call out for some tools? I need pliers, a piece of hose, and a lighter.”

Xan moved towards the door. Half wondering what the vampire was going to do with that assortment, then realized he’d see first hand and called out the door. The items were delivered by a young guard, who handed them over with a look into the room and stumbled in his hast to leave.

Picking the hose and lighter from Xander’s hands. The vampire stretched it experimentally and walked towards their guest. “Have you seen what hot plastic does to human skin?”

The man gibbered in his seat, watching the vampire glide towards him. Ripper laid a hand on the vampire’s shoulder. “Really Angel, think of the smell.”

“I think it would smell pretty good.”

Xan squeezed his hand around the pliers and moved past the vampire and watcher. He grabbed the Elder’s chin and forced his head against the back on the chair. Raised the pliers and ripped out a bottom tooth.

Both men paused as the shriek interrupted them. Xan pulled the bloody pliers from the mouth and shook the blood from his hand and onto Frank’s shirt. Letting the tooth hit the hard floor it bounced twice, before resting at his feet.

Angelus smirked and tossed the hose over his shoulder. “That works too.”

“Much less mess, I agree.”

Xan paid them no mind. He held Frank’s chin as the elder’s hands frantically pulled at his arm, snarling bloody foam when the broken hand was used.

Xan pulled the pain filled eyes to his own. “You will tell me. It’s just a matter of how many teeth, bones and screams it will take.”

The man squirmed and Xan flung the face away from him. “Again, what are the codes to the Wolfram & Hart armory?”

Spitting blood onto the floor, the man glared up a twisted spectacle of pain and fury. “I’m not going to tell you anything. Did your whore tell you my name, huh? Did he tell you how I used to give it to him? How much he loved it?”

Xan’s hands balled into fists and he stepped back, taking calming breaths until he could see past the red. In the process, the pliers dropped from his hands.

Angel swept them up his face was expressionless. No sign of fury, a cold vampiric mask of indifference. He opened and closed the pliers as he approached the man. The Elder clamped his mouth shut. Angel signaled for Ripper to hold the other hand. Angel held his right and started with the first fingernail.

Ten fingernails latter, the elder could do nothing, but moan. His throat completely ravaged by the screaming. Angel slapped Frank’s face, till his eyes stopped rolling and looked his way. “Mention his name, speak of him one more time and I will rip your balls off with these very pliers.” The vampire waved the bloody instrument in his face and stepped away.

“I won’t. I won’t.” The elder’s horse voice pleaded. Seeing now what this was truly about, the elder cursed the day he’d ever laid eyes on the blond vampire.

Xan walked as close as he trusted himself. “The codes.”

“I can’t. Please-I beg you,” The elder searched the faces before him.

The vampire answered. Still expressionless and the elder had feared the evil smirk less. “I can’t seem to care. So beg if you must, scream if you will, but this is the last place you’ll see before hell. So you might want to make it count.”

The elder winced and saw no hope there and he pleaded his case to the watcher. Who shrugged, “Abandon all hope all ye, who enter here.”

Again the elder found himself face to face with the last man in the room and the plea died on his lips. There would be no safety with this man. His eyes were so cold. They could not hold mercy for him.

It took 28 minutes before they had the codes and any other useless information the man could spill out. Xan could hold it in no more and tore himself from the glass box. Angel hot on his heals, leaving Giles to close the door.

Xan called out, not pausing in his fast pace, towards the door. “Remove the screen, replace the guards and leave him tied to the chair. I don’t care if he shits himself, understand.” The guards scrambled to obey the order and stayed out of his way. Even Angel was having a hard time keeping up.

Xan slowed at the door, as Giles, out of breath wiped his hands off with a wet cloth, caught up to them and handed them each one. Xan scrubbed at his hands. Angel could tell something had gotten to the man. He just couldn’t figure out what.

Xan threw the cloth in a bin and opened the door, again leaving them behind. They barely made it before the door closed on them. “Hey Xan.” Angel caught up with him, stepping in front of the man and stepped back a step at the expression.

Softer, he continued. “What is it? We got the codes?”

Xan nodded grimly. “Yes, we did. 10666WTB.”

“Yeah, so you can use that, right?” Xan pushed around him and to a small box on the wall. He punched a button, a red light flashed and Xan spoke into the box. “C”

“This is your Queen, speak your peace.” Angel stopped himself from jumping. It was just a phone like thing.

“How the signal on the armband?”

“Still receiving. They think he’s still in the alternate universe. You got something?”

“Yeah and we have to use it before they realize he’s not in Kansas anymore and change all the codes.”

“Change all the codes? What did you get?”

“Armory.”

“Ho-ly Shit! Let me gather everyone. Get your ass up here and don’t forget that code.”

Grim smirk in place, Xan replied. “I couldn’t if I wanted too. I’ll be up, till I’m there organize groups and hand out weapons.”

“Wow! The armory, yeah, you got it. Queen out.”

Xan turned away from the wall and continued walking. Angel caught up to him again. Giles not having a death wish, hung back and walked at a much more sedate pace.   
“Xan, what does it mean? It has to mean something to you?”

Xan turned on the vampire. “Damn it, leave it be.”

“No.” He grabbed the dark headed man’s arm, swinging him to hit the tunnel wall. “Tell me what it means?”

Xan seemed unaffected by the vampire’s sudden actions and leaned against the tunnel, letting it hold him up. Running a palm against his beard, tugging at it slightly, he met the vampire’s eyes. “Fine Angel, let me cure your curiosity. Level 10, room 666, William Taylor Banning.”

“Son of a,” Angel let Xan loose and turned to go back down the tunnel, towards the door.

Xan called out. “The door won’t open for you and even a vampire can’t break it down.”  
Angel stopped and turned back towards them with the eyes of a seething demon. “I want his blood.”

“And you wouldn’t be alone in that. However, we got our information and he is no longer our concern.” Xan turned back, leading the way towards the main tunnels and away from the nightmare behind him. He tried to make out his footsteps past the glaring in his eyes for the first time he truly realized the meaning of the phase to see red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Translation: The above ‘spell’ spoken by Giles is in old Greek, translated to English it roughly means. “Truth from lies let be known. Let the lies rise in broken bones. As I say let it be. Moot Blessed Be.”


	13. Another drop in the bucket

“You- What?” Spike was not having a good time in this universe. First, he fell asleep on Peaches, of all places, and there were witnesses to this fact. Something had changed between him and Angel and he wasn’t going to try to figure out what. Not right now and maybe not for a while.

Then his counterpart rudely wakes him up to tell him he’d been volunteered for the most arcane stupidity. This universe sucked. Almost as much as the one he’d just left, well there was no blond chit of a slayer, plus side, but still. “Would you run that by me one more time?”

Wil bounced on the bed, bouncing his counterpart and stopped at the glare. Some people were not so pleasant after a nap or maybe it was everyone knowing where he’d been napping. Wil tried again. “Xan told me he loves me and offered the elder’s eyeballs up to me and everything.”

“Yeah, I got that part mate. What was that other part?” Spike ran a hand down his face. His eyes searching for anything remotely looking like a liquor cabinet.

Wil glanced at his counterpart. Surely he wasn’t this dull-witted just waking up. “Told him, I wanted to get them myself and you’re going with me.”

“That’s the part, mate. Now let me ask you this, are you daft?” It wasn’t that Spike wasn’t good with the fact that Xander and Wil had hooked up. It saved him trying to get them together so his counterpart wouldn’t be alone when he left.

“What do you mean daft? If anyone’s daft, it’s you mate. I want to show Xander I’m not a complete loss. Besides you know you want to, think of it free rein to do anything.” Wil couldn’t see the problem here. It wasn’t like killing and mayhem wasn’t one of his favorite pastimes and if it was his then it had to be his counterparts.

“Right pet. Let’s think about this. You said ‘we’ meaning, you and me, are going to torture a human and generally have us a bit of fun. When you can’t even touch a weapon and me having this chip can’t even think about it.” Spike was getting a headache just saying torture. It put happy thoughts in his head and brought twinges from the chip.

Wil rolled his eyes. “Give me some credit here do you think we’re that stupid?” Wil pushed off the bed and walked over to a small chest. Pulling out a bottle, he tossed it to his counterpart, who smiled with appreciation, before uncapping the whiskey and taking a pull. “Ta mate. Wot have you got planned then?”

Not answering him, Wil went to a small box on the wall, next to the bed. He hit a button and spoke into the box. “Red?”

“What’s that? A room to room phone?” Spike tipped the bottle towards the box.  
Wil nodded and tried again. “Red?”

“Spike is that you? Do you need anything?” The witch’s voice floated around the room, soft and calm, so unlike the Willow Spike knew.

“Red can you come to Xan’s room, please?” The tone was softer than the one he’d used with his counterpart but it propelled Willow into action.

“I’ll be right there honey.”

“That was your answer? Call Red.” Spike swung the bottle back and wasn’t able to hang on to it when the counterpart grabbed it away.

Tipping the top of the bottle at Spike, Wil smirked. “She can do more than make good cookies, mate.”

Willow tried to get Xan’s attention but he was in full planning swing, a circle of people around him. Instead she grabbed Angel, standing a little back from the group. “Angel, tell Xan, if he asks, that I went to talk to Spike, and well Spike. Okay?”

The dark vampire looked down at her, distracted from listening to a strategist at work. A strategist, Alexander the Great would have been envious of. “Sure Willow. While you’re there, tell them they have the go ahead to take care of our little elder problem.”

Willow nodded. Not sure how the blonds got the job of eliminating the elder. Planning wasn’t her strong point anyway. She slipped from the room and into the tunnels. Thanking the blond’s for the reprise of sitting through the planning stages.

Xander was more than a little nervous when the gruesome twosome came out of the bedroom. While they were in the other room Xander had been content to sit in his chair and pretend they were asleep. Faced with the reality that they were indeed awake and out here in the main room Xander now had to somehow make sure they didn’t leave.

“Hey fangless and twin.” Xander rubbed his hands on his jeans. Amazed at how fast they’d gotten so sweaty. He was a dead man. They were going to leave this room and his own counterpart was going to do not so nice things to him.

“Whelp, someone loan you some fashion sense?” Spike sat across Xander on the couch, slightly confuse at the level of stress coming from Xander.

Xander looked down at the borrowed shirt. So it was boring. Big deal. When he glanced up there was double of Spike sitting on the couch. Both looking at him with those calculating blue eyes, ‘one of them isn’t chipped’, a mean little voice reminded him and he swallowed hard.

The little voice continued its internal dialog, ‘be nice, or the not chipped one might decide you’re a nummy treat’. From what Xander had seen the other him had cracked under the pressures of war and was seriously lusting after the blond.

Xander wasn’t about ready to make that mistake. No siree, cause he was seriously straight. Well that and the blond scared the shit out of him, no matter how hot he was.

Wait, back up scratch that last part. Xander coughed and rushed the words out before the little voice could respond. “Umm, so Xan, Angel, and Giles went out to take care of something and they asked you guys to stick around here.”

‘Please-Please, stay here.’ Xander’s little voice supplied and he stopped before the words were actually said. Xander calmly told the voice that they sensed fear, like rabid dogs. If he told the blondes how much it meant to him that they stay, they would go, as simple as that.

“Did they, pet?” Spike smirked. They must have laid out some heavy threats for Xander to putting out this much fear. Might be able to have some fun with this.

Wil leaned back into the couch to watch his counterpart bait Xander. His Xan would have never fallen for this but it was fun to watch. He’d have to remember the expression Xander was wearing and see if he could get Xan to make the same face. It was making him horny as hell, innocent Xan and the big bad vampire- yum. That was worth a little trip into fantasyland.

Spike opened his mouth to tease Xander some more, when a knock beat him to the punch. Xander was up out of his seat and to the door before Spike could shut his mouth. Vampiric speed nothing. Xander had warp.

It wasn’t Angel or Giles to save him from his woes but a Willow was just as good and he welcomed her with a beaming smile. Xander practically pulled her into the room and presented her to his woes. “Look guys, its Willow. So nice you could stop by. Have a seat and stay awhile.”

She gave him a small smile, but beamed at the blondes and Xander had to shake his head. This was not his Willow, like the eye didn’t remind him enough. She went over to the couch, leaving Xander behind.

On the slow return walk to his seat. Xander sent up a mumbled fevered prayer. “Please God let them hurry the hell up. I thought they were professionals. Please let Willow be able to keep the Spikes here till their return. Amen.”

Willow looked the vampires over. They looked okay and the smirk. She knew that smirk. She should have stayed upstairs. “You called?” She sat in the chair closet to the couch, unable to relax, waiting for the bomb to drop.

“Red.” Wil began shifting on the couch, which made Willow even more fearful. “We need a favor.” Xander sat happily oblivious to the tension rising, only aware that he wasn’t alone in his task of vamp sitting.

“What?”

Wil smiled at her. His eyes as wide as possible, giving them a child-like innocent quality and with a soft voice full of pleading he said. “De-chip Spike.”

Willow almost fell out of her chair but Xander snapped out of his happy place and straight into hell. “No. No way.” He shook his head at the blondes and to Willow, as he turned on his own pleading voice. “You can’t. I mean our Willow can’t do that and besides it would be wrong, very, very wrong. On the serious side of wrong.”

Willow now knowing the dilemma could no longer sit and left her seat to pace the room. Xander’s words died off and the vampires stared at her and willed her with silent pleas. She turned and looked at the blondes, shook her head and resumed pacing. “I don’t know.”

Xander looked at her incredulously. She had to think about this? “He’s a killer! A monster. Not to mention a vampire. You can’t. Think about it Willow. You’d be responsible for everybody he kills from this day forward.”

Willow couldn’t ignore what Xander was saying. She couldn’t make this decision. He wasn’t even from her universe if it were her Spike the answer would be easy. A killer they could use. A vampire unable to fight humans would be dead far to quick anyone could see that.

She looked over to the couch again. They hadn’t said a word, hadn’t even tried to contradict a word Xander had said. Every body that hit the ground, lifeless from his hands would be on her hands and her hands would never be clean again.

Xander was also standing, watching Willow pace. “He’s has no conscious. No guilt. He’s nothing but a killing feeding machine.”

Willow turned towards Xan. E-eye cracked with the surge of energy; however, it was the pure fury in the green eye that made him falter. “He is not nothing!” She hissed at him and watched him step back from her. She looked at the couch again. Both blondes awaited her decision, no stress, no words, just pleading eyes.

Cruelty, human cruelty had done this. Taken a proud creature and reduced him to this, begging and pleading. She let her green eye take in the vampires on the couch. E-eye couldn’t show her the doubt. They were sure she would say no and damn the other universe’s Spike to his fate.

Willow ignored Xander and walked with purpose to the couch. She used the hand with the cables, wires and modifications to take Spike’s chin. She could feel the cool, silky skin beneath her touch. She squeezed hard and he tried to twist his head away.

E-eye could detect the chip going off. She stared into the blue eyes as they dilated with the pain. She increased the pressure. The skin began to bruise and tears gathered within the blue eyes.

Even this inhuman hand, this melding of metal made the chip react. Spike could do nothing but bear the pain and hope she didn’t snap his neck. He had no defenses. He was at the mercy of anyone with human DNA. Yet he didn’t beg. No whimper, no sign he was experiencing pain, beyond the tenseness in his body and the slight filling in his eyes.

The other Spike pulled on her arm and she could hear him talking and telling her to let go. It meant nothing. The eyes beneath her hand spoke of such agony and such a need to be free. He was what he was, nothing more and nothing less. A beautiful creature they had tried to tame and failed, just as Wolfram & Hart had failed with her Spike.

She let go of his chin and her own Spike fell back, away from her and onto the couch, where he stared. Xander paused by the couch unsure what decision had been made.

Willow dropped to her knees in front of Spike and briefly held those eyes again before glancing at Xander. Returning her green eye to the vampire, she squeezed his hand. “I’ll try.”

She’d lost her right to bloodless hands years ago. This was just another drop in the bucket.


	14. Back again

Xander was stunned, shocked, angry, and more than a little terrified. “Wills, you can’t…” There was a lot more he wanted to say but he couldn’t find the correct amount of terror to express it.

It was his job, as one of the good guys to stop her. It said so on the club card. He had to reach her and make her listen. Then she stood up from the couch, turned towards him and Xander knew she had reached her decision. There was nothing he could do. It was too late.

Nothing he could do would change her mind but there was still hope. G-man would stop this. Heck, Angel would stop this. Well maybe not Angel. Not after the lovely dovey scene they’d witnessed earlier. “Where’s Giles?”

Willow was distracted looking at Spike’s head, one hand moving his hair back and the other stroking the side of the blonde’s face. It made Xander slightly ill as the vampire purred beneath her hands. She finally answered him, without removing her hands or looking his way. “They’re upstairs, planning.”

“So they were done with the elder and they didn’t even come by to tell me. They were just going to leave me sitting here. I think I’ll go upstairs.” Xander edged towards the door. If he could just get out of here before the un-chipped vampire caught on. His inner voice was still talking to Willow. It hadn’t caught up yet and he wasn’t going to give it the chance to. The way it had been acting it might take the vampire’s side.

Xander barely suppressed a squeak as the un-chipped version got up from the couch and stalked his way. He backed right into the door, keeping his eyes on the vampire and reached behind him to open it. “I’ll be going now. To yell at them for leaving me here and planning without me, cause we all know how much I love planning.” Xander ducked out the door not even bothering to shut it. They could hear his footfalls speeding down the tunnel.

Wil shut the door and wandered towards the redhead, sitting with his counterpart on the couch. “He’s run off to tattle.”

“I know.” Willow answered. The cold mechanic eye beginning to glow with a translucent, blue light, “He won’t be fast enough. By the time he gets done playing Chicken Little, we’ll be done here.” Willow turned from the vampire walking towards her to the one by her side. “Be a dear Spike and lay your head on my lap.”

Willow ran the procedure through her mind, checking for flaws. She’d use e-eye to monitor Spike’s condition and the chip’s activity and small bit of magic to reach in and remove it. It was only a small spell. She could do this easy and with e-eye to guide her, nothing could go wrong. Willow tried for the first time since e-eye to have faith in her magic.  
Spike did as the witch asked his hands shook this was it. He’d been waiting for this for so long. If he’d ever prayed this would have been the answer. “Aren’t going to fry me brains are ya, Luv?”

“No, I’m going to be very careful. By the way, Xan said the elder was ready for your attention.” Willow ran her hands through the blonde’s hair waiting for the vampire’s response. She was sure this would prompt the vampire into moving ahead. Spike tensed beneath her hands but the eyes that looked at her were determined and angry.

“Do it.”

Xander could practically hear his internal voice kicking back into gear. ‘Run, Forrest, Run! You sure know how to make an exit with your dignity intact.’ “Shut up.” He mumbled back.

He asked several people which way before he was able to finally locate the stairs. Finding Giles took even longer. The watcher was sitting at a table overlooking an old book. Xander couldn’t even fake the surprise. He didn’t see Xan anywhere but could hear his voice from within a large circle, which was of the good. Xander didn’t want to have any unpleasant talks with his counterpart. Nor did he see Angel, which was also of the good.

“Giles!” The watcher continued to read, immersed in the book. Xander bounced between his feet, fearing for life, liberty and pursuit of chocolate. Xander did the only thing he could think of. He took the book away.

“Xander! Watch it. That book is priceless.” Giles reached for the book and gave up trying to retain it. So not to endanger the precious volume he allowed Xander to hold it. “I thought you were in Xan’s room. What are you doing up here taking my reading material?”

“Trouble Willow, Spike-chip.” Xander had to breathe. He stepped back out of the watcher’s reach with the book and huffed quick breaths.

“Xander, if you are trying to do a fine rendition of Lassie, you have done so. Now speak clearly, what are you going on about?”

Xander rolled his eyes. Next tragedy he was staying out of it. “Willow is going to take our Spike’s chip out. You have to stop her.”

Giles jumped up, book forgotten. “Oh dear god. I hope you remember the way back.” Giles charged ahead and paused, realizing he was alone. He turned back. Xander was still leaning back, catching his breath. “Come on, Xander. We have no time to for you to gather wool. Put that book down and lead the way.”

Xander huffed and mumbled as he pushed past the watcher. “Just follow lassie. No ones ever listens then its go Xander, come on Xander.”  
“Really Xander, must you? And put some speed into it.” Giles broke ahead and grabbed Xander’s arm, pulling him along. Xander stuck his tongue out at the watcher’s back.

It was a frantic run down into and through the tunnels. After Xander leading them wrong a few times, Giles had taken the lead and by asking continuously ‘which way’, from passers by. They had managed to get Xan’s room in pretty good time.

Giles stormed through the door. Xander hot on his heels and he ran straight into the watcher’s back. Xander looked over Giles’ shoulder. The longhaired counterpart was grinning from the couch and holding Willow’s hand. Willow looked weak and tired, leaning heavily on the vampire.

Xander stepped around Giles and stared. Terror rose in his throat, he coughed, choking on it. Pretty good time hadn’t been enough.

Standing in the middle of the room was Spike, wearing a black tee shirt, black jeans, and his leather duster, sporting a smirk and spinning a long, vicious metal spike. “I’m back.” The blond cooed.

Xander caught Giles just before he hit the floor.


	15. He wasn’t the cell type of guy

The Plan was in the final stages and Xan felt the pump of adenine begin to flood his veins. This was it. This battle could very well signal the end for Wolfram & Hart, all within this very small window. He was taking a chance, throwing everything they had into this and it was a terrible risk, but everything was a risk. Xan could not let this gauntlet lay.

Xan was humming with energy when Queen was able to pull him from the table. “Xan, your counterpart was up here. He and Giles took off in a hurry.”

It took Xan a moment to put together what she was saying through the buzz. “Spike!” He turned to leave, duty made him stop and turn around. “C, the planning stage is done. Get everyone ready. We leave within the hour.”

He didn’t wait to see her nod.

Xan pushed his way through the masses, trying to be polite. His face; however, showed his need to hurry and people stepped out his way and paused in their remarks.

Xan saw Angel and grabbed the vampire. “What Xan? Where are we going?”

“Spike!” That one word propelled the vampire to follow. Along the way Xan told Angel what Queen had said and Angel in returned mentioned Willow and her earlier disappearance. The implications put wings to their feet and no one dared interrupt what was obviously a running matter of life and death.

Xan knowing where he was going blind much less in a mad dash made record time to his room’s door, but he hesitated with his hand on the knob. Squeezing his eyes shut momentarily, he told himself whatever was behind this door was already done. Knowing himself Xan knew if it was bad then all hell would break loose.

He shook his head slightly. This was the sort thing that made leaders lose their marbles. So with Angel standing anxiously, practically on his ass. Xan opened the door.

It wasn’t exactly the blood massacre Xan had planned to find. In fact no blood was to be found and he was about ready to feel like a complete idiot. Till he noticed not all was right. In fact it was wrong by long shot. Giles was out on the couch and Willow was sitting by his head. She was lightly slapping the watcher with her human hand, a steady stream of worried mumbling dropping from her lips.

Xander, his not so competent counterpart, was holding a stake in front of both Spikes who seemed unconcerned and stood before the guy smoking and smirking.

Angel spoke first. “What the hell is going on?”  
Not taking his eyes off the vampires in front of him, Xander replied. “She,” he nodded towards Willow, “un-chipped Spike and so I’m trying to do the right thing by staking him. Spike, come on, just stand still and take it like a man, well an evil, undead man.”

“Don’t think so, pet.” Spike waved the cigarette with an air of confidence he hadn’t shown in quite sometime. “Haven’t done anything. You can’t stake me for not being the leashed pet anymore. You come near me with that match stick and I’ll stick it up your arse, mate.”

Xander was sure the un-chipped version could do exactly what he threatened. He paused. Completely unsure if he was willing to push the vampire and see what a stake up the ass felt like. “As soon as you step one un-chipped foot back into our universe Buffy’s going to stake your ass anyway. So be a pal and take this with some dignity.”

Angel was floored. Spike, his childe was whole. It was a blessing and the biggest curse he’d ever had the mis-luck of witnessing. His lad was free, free to go anywhere and not live in constant fear. Free to kill. Free not to need him for anything. Free to kill, Angel clearly saw the embers of what could have been fade out and turn into a fine ash.

Xan saw no problem, with the exception of his counterpart holding a stake. “Red, you alright?”

She gave him a weak smile. “I did it with magic and I didn’t mess up.”

Xan shared her smile. Amazed she’d been able to complete the task without a nervous breakdown. “I know and I knew you could do it. You did good, witchy woman.”

Her grin increased and she yawned, returning her attention to the awaking watcher. Xan turned his eyes back to the vampires, still standing before Xander. “Did you thank her?” Xan questioned the newly un-chipped vampire.

Willow spoke up from the couch. “They gave me kisses and said I was the best witch in the world.” She laughed. “They almost made me blush. It’s not often I get the attention of two beautiful men.”

Xan grinned as the blush reappeared. Then gave a withering gaze towards his vampire, who ducked his head. They’d have to have the ‘don’t kiss others’ chat later. “Then I have nothing to say but congratulations Spike and behave yourself.”

Xander actually removed his gaze from the vampires to Xan. “Are you crazy? We can’t let him go.”

Xan turned his full attention to his counterpart. “That’s exactly what I’m saying. You forget where you’re at. There’s no Buffy here. However, there is a free cell that could be yours.”

Xander dropped the stake. He wasn’t the cell type of guy. “Just behave yourself bleached wonder or I’ll find a way.”

Spike shrugged, unconcerned by anything Xander could ‘attempt’ to do to him. The only thing that bothered Spike was Angel, who hadn’t said one word. “Angel?”

Angel shook his head to clear away the ash of what might have been and looked at the vampire standing only feet away. Angel wanted so much to hold him, to tell him it was great. Instead he gave his best smile and said. “Congratulations, do your best not get staked.”

Something was off in the reply. It gave Spike cold chills but he couldn’t pin point why. So smirk in place, he nodded. “Thanks. Can’t promise to behave but I can promise not to get staked. Good enough Peaches?”

Angel receded back into his haze and keeping the pain from his face, he nodded at the vampire’s words. Already Angel could see this would be so very bad for himself. Now he had more problems than getting back to his own universe. He had to figure out a way to save Spike from everyone waiting there and his own good guy duty.

Xan saw the pain flash on Angel’s face. However he didn’t make the connection from what he could see all was of the good here. Besides Xan could only handle five crises at a time and with the battle coming up. Everything else had a back burner.

Xan did have to make one thing clear before he could rush into his plans. “Spike.” He paused making sure he had both Spikes attention and when he could see both sets of clear blue eyes locked on him, he continued. “Remember the rules. You can’t not feed or hunt within these tunnels. To do so is a death warrant and as much as I love you.” Xan nodded towards his own vampire. “And care about you.” He nodded towards the other. “I would have no choice but to have you staked. So please, do a guy a favor don’t put me through that.”

His vampire answered first. “No. We wouldn’t do that, would we?” He looked to his companion, who seemed to need longer to make up his mind and then decided to smile.

“Na, mate wouldn’t do that. Wouldn’t want to ruin a good thing. However, you did promise us a bit of fun.” Spike still held the spike, in the hand opposite of one holding the cigarette, and began to spin it again.

“That I did and I always keep my promises.” He winked at his Wil, who grinned back.

“I have some folks and one particular that needs some attention. We have to step out for a little while. Re-con work, boring stuff really and you’d really be doing a service.”

Xan prayed the others would keep their mouths shut. Giles now awake seemed to be coping and not in the mood to say anything. Angel just nodded agreeing right along and Xander, who knew nothing said nothing, but looked at him with interest.

Spike seemed to take this in. “So we can do whatever and no questions asked?”

“I have only one request, the elder. I don’t see him alive again.”

Spike liked the way this guy thought. “And the others?”

Xan smiled, a smile Spike, Giles and even Xander were sure his counterpart could not copy. A smile Angelus would understand and Spike liked. “There’s a list of information we need. Ask for the list and if you get the information. I need the room, understood?”

Spike grinned and licked his lips. “Understood.”

“Good. Now we have to get going. People tend to get antsy when I’m late. I’m going to leave Riley with you guys. He’ll take you to the prison.” Silently he added. ‘And watch over you two.’

Wil nodded. He’d be all right with Riley. He trusted the guy. The other made a face of complete hate and a smirk that clearly said leaving Riley might not be a good idea.

Xan didn’t have time for this. He needed to leave someone his vampire trusted and Riley was it. “Spike, this is not your Riley. This one cares about our Spike a lot, which means he cares for you a lot. So don’t push it.”

Spike turned to his counterpart, who nodded in agreement. Spike wisely decided to save his lesson for the one who deserved it. “I’ll try.”

Xan rolled his eyes. “No William. You’ll do.”

“Alright then mate. I’ll do.” Xan figured the blonde’s counterpart would stop him from doing any serious damage and let it go. Time was a wasting.

Xan reached out and snagged his vampire and held him lightly. Letting him be aware he wasn’t trapped and waited. Then Wil relaxed in his arms and he leaned down and kissed those sweet lips. Cigarette’s, whiskey, there went his hidden stash of booze but it was a loss well worth the taste in the cool mouth.

Xan could tell his love was uneasy being kissed in front of group of people but he waited till his need for breath made him pull back. He gazed into the blue eyes, praying the blond could see his love, feel it in his arms. “I love you.”

Somewhere behind them, Xander made a gagging noise but all Xan could see were the blue eyes gazing into his own. “I love you too, be careful.”  
For a moment Xan thought the vampire knew something was up, could read the lie in his eyes. Then Wil stepped out of his arms and the moment was gone.

Not wanting to press his luck. Xan nodded and walked towards the door, not before hugging the other Spike, who actually let him briefly, before pulling away with a curse. Xander still dropped a kiss on his head. As he passed by Angel, he leaned in. “You might not come back.”

Xan looked back purposely not looking at the blonds and gestured for Willow, Xander, and Giles to follow him. Giles helped the still unsteady witch to the door. Xan wondered if the witches timing might be a little off, doing such a spell before an attack.

As if reading Xan’s mind which he wouldn’t put past her. She straightened and pulled away from any helping hands, her eyes clear and focused. Xan held the door for them and before he shut it he glanced back to see an uncertain Angel standing before the blondes.

He turned to lean against the wall and waited for Angel. Xan happened to look at the confused face of his counterpart and a thought sprang to mind. He hoped his counterpart could shoot or at the least could hit the broad side of a barn.

Angel wasn’t sure what Xan had expected him to say. Not without giving away that a lot more was going on than a simple recon. His emotions were so tied up right now. So he stood and realized, not for the first time, that he should never be left in a room alone with these two.

So he made small talk. “If you get hungry Xan say’s there’s bagged blood. Riley will know where it is, but you might not need it with the, um prisoners.”

Spike looked at him uncertainly and Wil leaned in and planted a quick kiss on his cheek. “Be careful, Sire.” He turned away from Angel and towards the bedroom. “I think I saw some old clothes of mine in Xan’s chest. I’m going to change.” He shut the bedroom door behind him.

Spike glared at the door and yelled out loud enough for his counterpart to hear. “Could have told me that before I raided Xan’s dresser.”

There was no answer from the other room and Spike resumed looking at Angel. “Well just like home, huh Peaches? Have fun, but not to much, don’t want Angelus popping up and all.”

Angel briefly closed his eyes. They were going to have to discuss the ‘Angelus thing’ when he returned. “Yeah, just like home. Be good all right. Please.” Angel quickly kissed the blond’s forehead and rushed towards the door.

From behind him, Angel softly heard. “Be careful, Sire.”

He squeezed his eyes shut and without turning around, he answered. “I will.”

Stepping through the door without turning back and explaining everything pushed Angel’s restraints but he did and took an unneeded breath, as the door shut behind him.

Xan was waiting. Angel looked around but didn’t see the others. “I sent them ahead. So they could get filled in and so Queen could teach Xander the right end of a gun. You alright, need to sit this one out?”

Angel shook his head. “No. I need to go give back Wolfram & Hart some of their own hell back. Why didn’t you tell them where we’re going?”

“Could you see them saying, ‘oh okay have fun’ and letting us go, without them? My Spike isn’t battle ready yet. He might falter and yours needs to get used to being un-chipped. Either of them could’ve frozen and I’m not taking that chance.”

“With this mission?”

“With them,” Xan turned away. Not only was he not used to caring about one person so very much. This one person’s daddy was testing him.

Angel looked past Xan and into the tunnels. He watched Riley making his way towards them. Angel trusted Xan with Wil to a point, but Riley? Xan pushed off the wall and walked towards Riley. Angel followed.

Riley smiled at Xan’s approach. “Willow told me I’ll take care of them. Don’t worry about a thing. They’ll be so busy they won’t have time to cause trouble.”

Xan smiled back. “I’m not asking the impossible. Just make sure they don’t kill anyone outside the cells and that the place is still standing when I get back. That’s all I ask.”

Riley saluted with a grin. “Yes Sir. Place still standing and no bodies filling the tunnels got it.”

Xan nodded and continued past. Angel leaned into Riley, “With your life, my friend. One problem and you forfeit it.” Angel walked on catching, from corner of his eye, as the man turned back to watch them leave, a weird look of pension on his face.

Angel smirked and caught up to Xan, who tilted his head to glance at him as they walked. “Was that necessary?”

Angel thought Xan had been to far ahead to hear his warning. It didn’t matter. He felt better having given it. “I think so. Why do you trust him and why does Wil?”

“I did notice yours tended to be a little aggressive towards the idea of Riley. Why is that?”  
Not giving, Angel replied. “I asked first.”

Xan shrugged. “It’s not a secret. Our Riley once worked for Wolfram & Hart. He had a nasty addiction of being fed on by vampires that W&H abused. Wil found him. I don’t know the whole story, but somehow Wil got him clean. Since then Wil’s recruited him and saved Riley’s life. Oh, about 14 times and counting. Riley would die for him, without a thought and when Wil was captured, he was with Riley.”

Xan paused and making sure Angel was with him, the vampire had fallen silent and Xan continued when Angel nodded. “Riley blamed the hell out of himself. For weeks all he did was explain to everyone that would listen how it was his fault and he should’ve been the one taken. It was sad. I thought he was going to lose it but instead he got more dedicated to stopping Wolfram & Hart than anyone.”

“So Spike and Wil are safe with him?”

Xan resisted the urge to hit the vampire. “Weren’t you just listening? Ri would die for Spike. Yes, they are safe with him.”

Angel nodded and moments stretched between them in silence. Xan led the way up the stairs towards his awaiting army. As his hand reached to open the door at the end of the stairs and he had to ask. “Your turn. Why does yours hate Riley?”

Angel dropped his head and when he returned his eyes to Xan’s they had a yellow twinge. “He’s one of the people responsible for the chip.”

Xan nodded, expecting as much. “Are you angry? Or are you still in angst over the whole un-chipped deal?”

Angel glanced at him in confusion surprised Xan had noticed. “You don’t understand my Spike being un-chipped opens a whole lot of problems for me.” Xan walked through the hidden door and before Angel could follow him. Xan turned and blocked the entry with his arm.

“Angel, I’ve got a simple solution. Leave him here.” At Angel’s shocked expression, Xan smirked. “I’m not saying I can handle two of them, but I’ll be damned if I let you hurt him and by God the experience alone would be worth dying for.”

Angel grabbed Xan’s shirt and shoved him into the wall. For the second time that day Xan’s head hit the wall. He briefly wondered if he should be worried that Angel might have a thing for him. From what Xan had seen of Angel and Spike’s relationship, on both sides of the mirror, Angel showed affection by throwing people into walls.

“He’s mine and you best remember it.” Angel growled, letting him go with a shove.

Xan smiled. He even got the growl. He’d better make sure Angel didn’t have marriage in mind. As much as he wanted to laugh, he kept his expression blank. “Then get your soul out of your ass and start acting like he matters more than what your friends think.”

Angel was silent and Xan assumed he was thinking. Not what Xan need right now. He shrugged. “Fine, you think about it. As for me I’ve got some naughty pictures in my head. Can’t go to battle thinking of twin blondes, can I? Nope wouldn’t be prudent. So you go ahead and do the ‘right’ thing and back off and make your slayer proud. While you’re doing that I’m going to scoot right back down to my room and work off some aggression. Tell the army to go ahead without me.”

Xan turned to go back down the stairs. Angel’s arm shot out and grabbed his in an iron grip. “I want to kill you right now.”

Xan nodded at the vampire. “Are you?”

“No. I’m going to think about what you’ve said.”

“Good idea.” Xan tilted his head towards his hand. Angel glanced down. The vampire saw the tip of a stake poking from Xan’s sleeve. A stake, Angel hadn’t even seen and very close to his heart.

Angel backed away. “Like I said I’ll think about it but never lay a hand on my Spike.”

“If you do the right thing I may sadly never have the chance.” Xan pulled himself completely out of Angel’s grasp.

As Xan walked away Angel called out. “Besides did you forget you’re leading this army? They can’t ‘go ahead without you’.”

Xan ran a hand through the mop on his head before smirking back to the vampire behind him. “The suffocating weight of leadership. Forget it never. Willing to hand it off, sure, you offering?”

Walking backwards, Xan watched a record of expressions parade across Angel’s features. “No, Xan. Just wondering where your priorities are.”

Xan schooled his face into neutrality. “They’re where they should be. See yours get there or I’ll take up the challenge myself.”

Even the few feet away they were Xan could see the vampire’s eyes turn again at the mentioning of him and Spike. “That piss you off soul-boy, thinking about me and him?”

“Yes.” Angel hissed.

“Good, aim it at Wolfram & Hart.” Xan turned away from the vampire, cutting off whatever Angel might have said. Opening his arms wide and speaking out for the first time loud enough for the room in general to hear. “Alright, everybody saddle up.”


	16. 2:02 A.M

Spike was uneasy following Riley down the tunnels. It was warring feelings of kill, kill, kill and run, run, run. His counterpart was just happily chatting with the bloke. It was all Spike could do not to reach forward and snap the guy’s neck. That would stop the internal monologue, not to mention get him staked.

Even walking down the tunnels he was anxious, a bundle of energy. Spike ran the metal spike along the wall, until his counterpart glared and made him quit. All the humans walked by smiling and waving at him. They could again be thought of only as food and not a threat. A food, he could not enjoy. Before he knew he couldn’t but without the chip. It was getting harder by the moment not to just reach out and have a snack.

Then the people faded away and it was just the three of them walking down a dark tunnel. The sound of Riley’s heartbeat filled his ears, the pump of blood beneath a thin layer of skin. Just as the sound threatened to overtake him they stopped in front of a door.

Spike wasn’t interested in the size of the place or the greatness of the structure. All he saw was glass cages of food, all for him, well him and his counterpart.

Dinner was served.

A loudspeaker sprang to life and Spike tensed. Ready to defend his right to be here. “Leader Spike, and um, counterpart in the room.” The guards nodded towards him and straightened their poses. Interesting place this side of the mirror, Spike grinned.

He headed towards the cage front and center, four guards, had to be something good in there. He figured it had to be the elder everyone was so uptight about. He didn’t get a chance to approach the cage, when his counterpart grabbed his arm. “No, lets wait on him. I want him to last a while.”

Spike didn’t care. One was as good as another to him but he was a little curious about the bloke who made his counterpart’s hands shake. “Right mate, whatever you say.”

Riley, whom Spike was paying close attention to, walked back their way, clipboard in hand. “This is the list of the information we need by cell. Willow said you might want it.” When Spike didn’t reach out for the board his counterpart gave him a look and took the board from Riley himself.

Scanning the list, Wil shrugged. “Might as well start with number one.”

Seeing a number on the top of each cell, Spike glanced around till he found # 1 in the far corner to the left and without wasting time, headed that way.

Wil was envious of his counterpart’s barely contained excitement where as he felt only a strange taste of anxiousness. It had been awhile since he’d done this. It was hard to remember when it had as much a part of him as his fangs.

He followed his counterpart at a much more sedate pace. Riley called out from behind him. “Do you want us to bring you anything?”

Spike turned back, tossing the spike from one hand to the other and flashed his fangs. “Got everything I need. How the hell do I get into these things?” Paused outside the glass box, Spike walked around it.

Wil ignored his counterpart and turned back to Riley. “Didn’t I have a toolbox around here somewhere?”

Riley paled. “Yeah, I’ll get it.” A guard beat him to it and Riley took it off his hands, before the man got close enough to upset the blond vampire. “Here.” Riley gingerly handed the medium sized toolbox over carefully and quickly, as if the toolbox was sin itself.

“Thanks.” He left Riley behind him going towards his counterpart, who was about ready to break the glass.

Wil showed his counterpart how to enter the box. Inside, a half demon cringed from them and moved away from the door. Wil thought at least a half-demon should last awhile and let him get into the spirit of things. Not to mention allow his counterpart to work off some of those post chip aggressions before they moved on to the finer points, like Frank.

Riley watched the blonds enter the cage and turned to the guards. “Get the screen up and the disposal team ready for arrives.”

Several jumped to the command and only one paused, looking at Riley. “Riley, the leader didn’t ask for a screen?”

“You have obviously never seen Spike at work. If you want to keep your lunch, you’ll do it.” Seeing the others hastily throwing up screens and some of them old war veterans the young guard took Riley at his word.

A few minutes’ later screams could be heard from within the cage the blonds had entered. The guards cringed and the new personal paled. He wondered what the hell anyone could do to make sounds pass through soundproof walls? He was sure didn’t want to know and crossed himself, very thank full for the screens.

*At 11:58 P.M Xan glanced up from his watch. They took the first steps to turn the tide of a war. Two semis parked, one filled with people, the other empty and waiting to be filled with weapons.

Xan, Will, Wes, Giles, and Angel stood on a hill overlooking the site, hidden within the trees from the guards below them. Still it wouldn’t be long before the two eighteen wheelers would be spotted. Xan glanced around memorizing this moment for later reference and in case.

Finally, he addressed them. “Alright, witchy woman just like we planned. Use Wes and Giles to focus. I want those guards gone and I don’t care where as long as it’s far from here.” Looking at their ‘guests’, he added, “And in this universe.”

Willow nodded, running her fingers through her hair. Taking a deep breath, she began to chant and her fingers weaved through the air. Her voice rose and nerves gave way to power. Xan could feel it thumping around him, like a drum.

She reached a feverish pitch and an eerie light burst from her fingers. She released it like a wave down the hill and when it cleared, no living thing was to be seen.

Xan glanced around but it looked as she had succeeded and he turned in time to see Angel catch Willow. “That’s my girl.” He mumbled, nodding at Angel, thanking him for the good catch. “Put her in the truck.”

The others clamored into the back of the truck. Xan in the front, sitting on the doors window, he leaned out to wave the other truck on and down the hill.

*  
Spike’s tongue darted along his mouth getting all the blood from around it. Then he lifted his arm to give his hand the same treatment. To the guards around them, it was like watching a great cat cleaning itself. The same grin of satisfaction on his features.

The counterpart was much less covered with gore and blood. He wrote the answers to whatever questions had been needed onto the clipboard. Even less covered his sleeve still left a red smear along the white paper.

As Wil wrote, he bit back his own thrill. It was still there. At first it had been a little awkward and he’d watched his counterpart do most the work. The Second, he’d opened his toolbox and at the third. He’d used the tools with satisfactory results. Now it was beginning to feel natural.

Unfortunately, none of the captives had any real staying power. Within minutes, they were ready to give their mother up. Getting the information Xan had wanted was terribly easy and it left Wil thinking of who’d been trying to receive the information before them. Whoever they were, they’d been a piss poor excuse for a questioner.

Didn’t matter. He felt more like himself than he had in all the time he’d been out. More blood had been wasted than drunk but he was still blissfully full. He had blood in his hair and it dripped onto his cheek and he resisted the urge to laugh. Then he laughed anyway.

The guards wavered on their feet, unsure if they should abandon post and leave the blonds to do their own bidding. It was obvious there would be no escapes.

Spike looked at his laughing counterpart and had to smile himself. Mate looked like he was finally having some fun.

Neither vampire noticed a couple of the guards sneaking out. The laughing had been hard enough to take, but when the other smiled, that smile. The smart ones thought it was time to make an exit.

Smart or not, Riley stayed in a chair, far away but he stayed. Forget Angel’s threat. No way was he letting Xan or his brother down a second time.

Wil dropped the clipboard to the ground, picked up the toolbox and used it to point towards another box, the elders. They headed that way and Riley left his chair to fetch the screen. The few guards that had remained followed.

Spike opened the door. It opened, as it would have for the other. He stood to the side letting his counterpart come face to face with the man who had caused him so much pain.

Wil stepped into the room. The elder didn’t look like much now. A fat, dirty human tied to a chair. He ignored the fear that crawled up his spine and shoved it down. When the elder raised his face to look at him a rush of pure glee rose from deep inside at the look of terror on the man’s face.

Looking him carefully in the eye. Wil smirked. “Hello Frank.”

His counterpart chuckled at the look the man was giving the two of them. The elder looked back and forth between them and understanding bloomed. It doubled the terror in the elder’s eyes. Still Frank had enough strength to snarl. “Whore or should I say whores?”

Spike tightened his fists but this man had a ‘past’ with his counterpart and so he deferred to him. “Your show mate, what’s first?”

“I cut out his voice box as painfully as possible.” Spike dropped his toolbox and held out his hand. The counterpart gave him a look but handed him his spike.

Looking at it for a moment, he handed it back, mumbling. He opened his toolbox throwing out various articles, till his eyes gleamed and he pulled out another spike. This one was rusty, crusted with blood and rather dull. “I think this will work.”

His counterpart actually giggled and the elder wet his pants.

Xan punched the code into the wall, 10666WTB, unable to stop himself from saying bastards after every number.   
People surrounded him but only those close to him could hear the utterances. Queen smirked and patted his shoulder. The doublewide door opened with the last bastard.

Xan’s eyes popped, floor to ceiling weapons. It was a leader’s wet dream. A grin broke over his face. “Christmas came early this year.”

Queen’s eyes were just as wide as she rated the room with a tactful eye, not even looking at Xan, as she entered. “Looks like you were a really good boy, Xan.”

G entered after her, laughing. “You’d have to ask a certain undead blond about that.”

Angel growled and Xan snapped into business mode. “Back the semi up to the door and let’s get going people. Double time people. I want these trucks filled now.”

Xan stood at the door, watching armloads and cases go from the warehouse and into the truck. He adjusted his earpiece to hear the lookouts, so far all was clear. Still his nerves were jumping and his eyes continuously moving.

Something pulled at the back of his mind. He’d forgotten something and it pulled at him like inch in the middle of his back. “Hurry, people.” He called out again and Willow, recently revived, walked to his side.

“What is it Xan? I can see your mind working from across the room.” Xan patted her hand and squeezed it briefly before letting go. He looked over her shoulder and could see a lot of people but no one from his family.

“Where’s the family?” He liked being able to see his team. From here, he couldn’t even make out Reboot’s multi-colored hair.

“In the back, they wanted to be the ones as far from the door as possible. In case we have to leave quickly, everyone closer to the door,”

“Will have a better chance of getting away and so they can make sure everyone gets out.” Willow nodded agreeing with him. It was what Xan himself would have done had he not been drawn to stay near the door.

“You still didn’t answer me.” Willow spoke softly and he turned back to her. He had been scanning around them, again.

“I don’t know Red. Something- I just don’t know.” He again listened to the all clears coming from the earpiece.

Willow linked her arm in his and together they watched.

Spike had to admit he was brilliant. Well his counterpart was but it was still him. He couldn’t help but wish it were he making those marks and causing such pretty blood designs.

Instead, he watched and silently cheered. He could smell the fear that had been coming off his counterpart was gone now, washed away by the blood. Only a few times had he helped and only with his counterparts permission.

The thing no longer resembled a human, new marks could not be seen through the blood. Naked, the thing no longer tried to move away. In fact, it barely moved at all. The heartbeat was slowing and Spike knew it was now only a matter of minutes. He grabbed his counterpart’s arm. “It’s time, want to feed?”

Wil stopped. Trying to pull his arm away to deliver another blow and listened to what his counterpart was saying. He titled his head to listen. The heartbeat was indeed very slow. “No, you don’t want to drink from him. I have a better idea.”

At 2:02 A.M the elder died.

Xan knew this because at that exact moment he knew what had been nagging him.

When the Elder died, the door code began blinking and the door closing.

He screamed into the room and people dropped what they’d been carrying to spring towards the door. Xan was washed aside in the flow, trying to keep the door open with his body. It was a losing battle and his earpiece jumped to life.

“INCOMING…INCOMING!” From all sides the scouts screamed into his ear. He heard guns, screaming and his earpiece went dead.

“MOVE PEOPLE!” He screamed into the room and then there was someone by his side, pushing with him. He turned his head. “Angel, push man, my people have to get out!”

“Get the weapon Semi out of here, NOW!” The semi pulled away from the door, people hanging from the end as they tried to shut the doors. The other semi remained and people piled in.

Then the bullets came.

Wolfram & Hart were here.

Xan could feel the bullets whiz past him. One grazed his arm and he watched in slow motion as a bullet went threw a woman, struggling into the truck. Her body hit the ground and he watched as others, frantic to get into truck, trampled her.

He heard Angel scream out and watched, as the vampire now in game face tried desperately to help with the door, which was still closing. He saw Angel flinch when a bullet caught him in the leg. At half speed the same bullet entered Xan’s leg and he looked down to see the blood pouring.

Still both held the door. Neither gave and neither let go. Then Queen and G’s faces appeared. Xan huffed to them. “Everyone out.”

“Almost.” Queen yelled keeping close to the ground. Since Xan was holding the door he couldn’t drop any lower and was in plain sight of the bullets.

Xan looked over to G, who was trying to help with the door, as Wes slid through with Willow right behind him. “Get in the truck! G, get them out of here!”

Willow cried out. “WE WILL NOT LEAVE YOU!”

Xan looked around. They were still missing Giles and Xander. “GO- DAMN IT-GO!”

“No!” Willow screamed.

Xan looked over to Wes still crouched by his feet outside the door. “This is an order, Wes. GO!”

Wes looked torn. He had to listen but his heart screamed and he made a decision. “No. I’m not leaving.”

Wes followed Queen and Willow’s example. However, instead of lifting a gun, the green ball erupted from his hand.

Xan rolled his eyes as another bullet nicked him. What the hell was use of being the leader, when no one listened? But his team wasn’t just soldiers they were family and they were not leaving one of their own.

The semi had to leave before Wolfram & Hart got any closer or else all those people would pay for their stupidity. Reboot kneeled next to Willow, trying to put her body between any bullets and the redhead. “Reboot. Get the semi out of here NOW!”

“My Wife,” Reboot started.

Willow covered her mouth and nodded at her then pushed her towards the truck, not letting her continue her plea. Reboot kissed Willow and made a run towards the semi-door and they covered her the best they could.

Without the protection of either truck they were almost completely out in the open. Willow threw up a shield but it was weak and some bullets punched through. One of which caught Angel, throwing him clear of the door and it was too heavy for Xan to hold back alone.

While someone pulled the vampire out of the way, Xan threw his legs up to brace against the door. Just as Giles crawled underneath and he saw Xander behind coming up after the watcher.

Queen screamed at him. “What took you so long?”

“Wolfram & Hart! They’re behind us!” Giles stood up and faced back into the room, while G guarded his back and shot into the darkness over Xan’s legs. Xan could feel Xander trying to push through but the passageway was getting to small. Xan put everything into one last push just enough to get Xander through.

Xan was flung from the door. He looked up from the ground to see his family. They were still standing and he’d never been prouder. Still fighting with everything they had and it was the last thing he saw, before the darkness grabbed him.

~  
Spike groaned and looked at Wil, who made the same face. Something was wrong with their Sire. He wasn’t dead but Angel felt really off and having so recently fed off of him Spike felt it more.

Even admiring their work didn’t make him feel better. The feeling nagged at him. Looking once more at their creation they headed towards the cell door.

Wil grabbed the other’s arm. “Xan! What if something’s happened to him? We have to get upstairs.” Spike could sense the fear coming off his counterpart more than fear, absolute terror.

Two blond blurs of vampiric speed flew from the cell warehouse and into the tunnels.  
Riley watched them leave and turned to run after them. However the screens fell away and he couldn’t help but look. Then he couldn’t look away.

Immediately noticeable was the glass fractures that ran down, starting with the spikes that had been forced into it. Blood ran rivers along the fractures and a mass of matter hung, crucified. A spike forced through each hand, one through the feet and one. Riley turned green and heard the others gagging around him and one spike through the things genitals.

The elder’s head was looking towards the floor but if one came close enough to the glass they could look up into wide, empty eye sockets. In large, bold letters, written across the glass in dripping blood were the words. “Luv Spike.”

A guard coughed next to Riley as both stood silently looking up. “Shall we clean it up?”

“No. Put the screens back up and leave it for Xan. He’ll decide what to do with it.” The guard looked relieved, taking an easy breath and both turned away. The screens were replaced, blocking the crucified from view.

Riley was barely able to keep the blonds in his sight as they tore through the tunnels. He had no idea what had put them in such a hurry. They looked a fright covered in blood and people scattered from them. Some screaming, Riley followed behind calming people.

Finally he was close enough to yell the distance. “What’s wrong?”

One, he wasn’t sure which, yelled back not slowing at all. “Angel’s down and Xan was with him.”

Riley started yelling to clear the path. If the blonds said something was wrong. Damnit something was wrong.


	17. Revived

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sex and dream sequence rape ahead

Xan opened his eyes just enough to see, if he tilted his head back. Captured. Wil was going to kill him. Wait, not captured. Not unless he was hallucinating a blood covered, blood covered! Xan sat straight up on the bed. “What’s wrong? What’s going on?”

That same blood covered vampire jumped into his arms. “Xan!” Xan wrapped his arms around the vampire tightly. God, he was a live. Wil was alive but the blood. He released the blond and leaned back to look at him. “Why are you covered in blood? Are you hurt?”

The longhaired blond looked down at himself and smirked slightly. “It’s not mine.”

Then Xan understood and grabbed him, Spike leaned back to kiss him passionately. Xan raised a shaking hand to the blonde hair.

Needing to breath, Xan leaned back. Wil was practically on his lap and he remembered getting shot, several times in fact but felt no pain. “What’s happened? Where is everyone?” His eyes searched around. He was in the hospital area of the tunnels. In the next bed Willow was laid out and he could see her chest moving. Xander was sitting by her side.

He craned his neck to see around them and to the next bed over, where Wes was pale silent and almost sitting in Drusilla’s lap. She sang to him as she rocked him and ran her fingers through his hair. Xan started to get up. He had to check on his family. The weight on his lap stopped him. “They’re alright just tired. Well unconscious but they’ll be fine. They had to bring you back from the dead and all.”

“What?” Xan stared at Spike, who nodded.

“You were dead. You died in the truck on the way back. They had to use everything they had to bring you back. Giles is out for the count around here somewhere. Wes took a bullet, but Dru’s healing him up right as rain.” The blond reached out and took his hand. Xan was too shocked to speak. He’d been dead, not undead, not almost, but dead.

His voice sounded raw, “And the others?” Afraid of the answer but he had to know.

“Queen’s fine. She’s upstairs taking command. G is with her, he took a bullet in the shoulder but they patched him up and he was on his way.” Xan used his hold on the blonde’s to pull him closer until Spike rested against him. His family was fine. He had been dead, but now was not and in no pain.

“Where’s Angel?” Quieter he added. “What were our losses?” All this good couldn’t come free. As a leader Xan knew this. His family maybe whole but someone was out there mourning.

Wil squirmed in his lap. Not answering the last part of the question instead he gestured to Xan’s right. Where, so busy looking over Willow and Wes, Xan had not looked yet. There, in the corner far back from the busy room, sat a very weary looking Angel, dirty and war torn.

Xan had never seen the vampire so messed up. Yet Angel only had eyes for the vampire wrapped in his arms. Spike’s face hid within his Sire’s shoulder. Angel rocked and spoke in low tones to his childe. His bandaged hands soothing with small circles on the blonde’s lower back.

Wil spoke from his lap. “We almost lost him. Sire had more bullets than you did. It took a lot of blood and name calling to get him to drink. He’s been drinking on and off since you blokes drove in. He looks a lot better than he did. Queen says he’ll be anal retentive in no time.”

“What were our losses? How did I get to the truck in the first place?” Xan tried to put everything in prospective but it was almost too much. He wasn’t able to tackle the large subject of his own death fully yet. Man, they had been serious when they’d said he wouldn’t be dying on them.

“Angel carried you. The truck had waited on the hill. Holding off Wolfram & Hart till you blokes got there.” The vampire ran his slim hands over Xan’s arms, chest, and face then repeated the gesture making sure Xan was really there. Convincing himself Xan was indeed alive.

“Reboot was stupid. She should have done what I told her. William what were the losses?”

“Out of the 87 you took, barring minor injuries, 67 made it back alive.” Spike dropped his head. Not for the fallen mortals, because hey what did he care he had Xan but for how Xan would take the news.

“Oh God, 20 didn’t make it.” Xan buried his face in his hands. Stupid, he had led 20 people to their deaths. Now he would have to find their families and explain why they had died.

Wil stroked the back of his hair. “Yeah, but 67 made it back because of you. Queen said the weapons you blokes got could very well help us beat Wolfram & hart. Queen said she’d take care of everything.”

Xan nodded. “I haven’t even told them about our Angel. Now I leave Queen to do my job.”

The blond tensed in his lap. “What about him?”

“I know. Please baby-don’t be mad. I can’t take it right now but I know. Why else would you be with me? Damn, I have got to get out of this bed.” Xan busied himself with trying to pull himself out of the sheets he was entwined in.

Wil caught his chin and though Xan’s fought it, he found himself looking the vampire in the eyes. “I’m not mad as for why I’m with you. You are the strongest force of nature I have ever met and I fell in love with you. Nothing could change that, not now, not ever.”

Xan swallowed hard. “I love you too. You mean so much,” His voice broke off and his eyes filled with emotion, to think he’d almost lost this. “I have to get up. I have people to talk to and I have to make sure,” Xan again tried to move the mass of vampire on his lap.

“Yes, you have to get up but you’re going nowhere but with me. I promised Queen.” Spike got off the bed and helped Xan up.

“Oh, you did and where are we going?” Able to put his feet on the floor he did then quickly had to put a hand back to help himself as his feet decided not to help in the standing process.

“Your room, I promised a shower for me and bed rest for you. Now I don’t promise anything often. Don’t make me a liar.”

To forget his duties just for a little while, just to be happy he was alive with Wil alone. To be Xan and not Leader Xan, to revival, to relax, it sounded so good. To good, he wasn’t just a man. He was a leader with obligations to the families of those people that didn’t make it back and to the people that did. “I’ll do that after I,”

Wil grabbed his arms. “Not after. Now, right now. Queen is taking care of everything. I’m taking care of you.”

Xan looked down at the vampire. At the small frown on his lovely mouth and his eyes so full love and fear. He had scared Wil. Maybe he didn’t deserve to let it all go but Wil deserved to see he was all right. Wil deserved his time. He tapped the vampire’s nose and actually smiled when Wil crinkled said nose. “All right holy terror, love of my heart, lead the way.”

Xan almost resisted the arm hold the vampire led him with but decided it wasn’t worth it. He was enjoying any touch and the concern Wil was showing far too much to disrupt it. Even for his dignity. Xan looked back over his family one more time. Seeing Angel and the other Spike still where they were he stopped. “What about them?”

Wil looked back. “Sire has a lot more blood to drink once he’s had enough. Queen will kick them to the room. Right now the only people that can get close enough to them, without my counterpart going off, is those bringing blood for Angel.”

Xan nodded. Satisfied with the answer and allowed himself to be led away.   
Getting to his room was a process. His legs felt stiff and he didn’t want to know why. All he was willing to admit was that he felt as old as the vampire helping him along. However, between the two of them, Xan felt he looked older to boot.

Xan allowed himself a small smile, picturing himself at 90 being helped along by a young and beautiful Wil. What people would think when Spike leaned over to give him quick peck on the cheek as he was doing now? Lucky me, Xan concluded.

People must have heard about his ‘condition’. Everyone they past nodded and smiled and thankfully no one stopped them. He leaned against the wall next to his door as Spike opened the room. He realized the last time he’d been in this exact spot, 20 people had been alive. Who were now dead and the injured had been healthy.

Xan pushed the thought away. There was plenty of time for guilt and grief later. Now, he forced a smile, was time to be thankful and enjoy love. Spike held the door open for him. Xan could see possibilities in a Wil that would do anything for him. However, he wasn’t one to abuse power, much. He allowed himself to be maneuvered towards the bathroom with only a very small plan forming.

Xan smiled. “You know how the water is around here. The hot will be gone in minutes. Why don’t you join me and wash my back?” He wagged his eyebrows at the blond.

The blond smiled and he returned his attention to the shower. “Alright.”

Plan A: a success, next step to get his vampire to bed ‘rest’ with him. Xan, as quickly as his stiff body allowed, pulled the holey and blood-ridden clothing off. There went his ‘lucky’ shirt, which considering he died in the damn thing wasn’t much of a loss as far as ‘lucky’ shirts went. Xan stepped around the blond as the shower kicked to life and into the shower, slightly shivering and not from cold.

Xan watched, under hooded eyes as the duster came off then the tee shirt. How the heck had the vampire managed to get blood under his clothing? Xan didn’t want to ask. He tensed when the blond reached the button of the black jeans. Nothing underneath, he had always thought the vampire went commando. Not that he’d ever thought about it, except for a lot.

It was a small shower and the vampire briefly pressed against him and then stood in front of him. Hot water washed the blood off, making marked pink rivers that flowed down the marble skin and then to the drain. If Xan hadn’t already died once today, he would have considered doing so now. Instead he passed the soap.

The small shower was perfect for contact. However it lacked the room to do more than steal kisses and grabs at flesh, which both took advantage of. Xan swore he’d never take another shower without the blond to message the shampoo into his hair and to use the washcloth, in ways that surely was considered improper use. Xan took great joy in returning the favor when he took his turn.   
All to soon, only minutes into their shower, the water started getting on the chilly side. Spike was making small circles with a washcloth on his back but knowing how much the vampire hated being cold he washed the soap off and shut the water off.

Being catered to was a new experience for Xan and being hand towel dried made a nice reason to be thankful for his return to life. Taking a towel of his own, he tried to dry the still dripping vampire who dodged his hands.

“I can dry myself.” The vampire took the towel from Xan and began to do so.

Xan took it back. “So can I. I want to.” Xan resisted smiling when Spike released the towel. He was just as indebt with his drying method as Spike had been. Kneeling before the blond Xan looked up. Spike’s head was down towards him. His eyes were closed and Xan could just make out slight breaths coming from the vampire, who didn’t need to breathe, which made the action all the sexier.

Xan was face level with the vampire’s growing desire and couldn’t help but blow a stream of hot breath along the vampire’s cock. The hips beneath his hands twitched and he heard the vampire’s shoulders hit the wall.

Encouraged, Xan leaned forward. This time he flicked his tongue against the head. A huff came from the blond and something close to a whimper came from Xan. They needed to move this to the bedroom with a glance down at himself he added, and fast.

Xan pulled himself up the blond, kissing a defined peck and nipping at a nipple. Until he was once again on his feet, “Come to bed with me, please?”

The vampire shook himself. “You need rest.”

Kissing Spike, he whispered into blond hair. “No, I need you. I have for so long.”

Spike didn’t answer but Xan took the answer to be a yes when he was pulled towards the bedroom. Xan allowed himself to be pushed onto the bed and crawled up to lean against the headboard. He nearly choked on his own breath watching the blond crawl up the bed towards him.

The blond straddled his hips and Xan took quick breaths as his cock came in contact with the soft skin and friction. Xan groaned trying to pull himself together before this ended without a start.

He leaned forward, dropping Spike to lie on the bed and Xan settled between his thighs. He ran his hands up the trembling thighs careful not to lay his weight on Spike.

It was that dream. One he never wanted to end, wanting, needing to remember every taste and every moan. Xan watched his own fingers trace Spike’s face and felt the blond purr into his hand. He slid down, lowering his body, so he could taste the cool skin and ran his tongue along the hard nub of nipple.

He felt the blond kiss his hand and felt the hands on his shoulders rubbing. The grip increased when he traced the tight stomach by drawing designs with his warm tongue. Ignoring the hands trying to pull him up. He slid lower till the throbbing cock brushed his cheek. Xan turned and ran his tongue along the vein and smiled at the moan from above his head and the hands running through his hair.

Xan’s own cock twitched as the hips beneath his hands rose. Unable to tease both himself and his lover, he took the cock into his mouth. A throb from the member in his mouth reminded Xan how lonely he had been. It had been awhile, but one can never underestimate determination. He remembered to breathe through his nose as he worked his way to the base.

The bitten off scream from Spike and the sudden rise and fall of the hips beneath his hands told him he’d done something right. The fact he could control the vampire’s movements with his hands showed him how greatly the blond was holding back. Xan worked up a rhythm, increasing his speed with the pivoting of Spike’s hips.

Xan lifted his head enough to watch as his lover tossed his head back and forth. The long blond hair flying with the motion, Spike’s head bent back, his eyes closed and his mouth open. Xan increased his speed on the blond and grinded his own hips into the bed.

A thought filtered through. Why hadn’t Spike slipped into game face? He thought during sex a vampire would be unable to help it. The thought slipped away as the hips beneath his hands tightened, arched. Xan lifted his head away to watch the fluid land on the tight stomach in a perfect arch.

Wil looked slightly hurt that he hadn’t swallowed. Xan identified the look before it was quickly covered with a smile. Xan leaned forward to kiss the blond and nipped at the blonde’s lips and looked down. “I don’t have any lube around here and as tasty,” He dropped his head to lick at the liquid on the vampires’ stomach. “As you are. I think we have better uses for it.”

The smile was real this time and amplified by a wiggle of his hips. Xan moaned and gasped. “I’m not going to do this. Unless you say it’s all right. Please say it’s alright or I might just die on you.”

“Not again you’re not.” The hips wiggled again and Xan was sure it was a sin to tease like this.

“Is that a yes or a threat?” The thighs opened a little further.

“It’s a yes.” The blond started to twist as if to turn over.  
Xan kissed the hip and used his hand to push it back flat unto the mattress. “Oh no you don’t, I want to watch every look.” Xan leaned up dropping a quick kiss to Wil’s lips and whispered. “Every moan.” Which got a moaned returned. “Every unneeded little breath, I want to watch you.”

At the blond desperate nodding Xan put his hand between them and got his fingers covered in the cool liquid. His fingers searched and finding what he wanted, he slipped one finger inside. It wasn’t living human hot but it was the warmest place on the vampire and so unbelievably tight.

The blond withered. “No, want you now. No teasing.”

Xan retracted his hand. He wasn’t teasing. He was preparing. He opened his mouth to explain but the hips wiggled again. Xan decided the vampire knew what he was doing.

He wiped the blond’s stomach clean and used it all to coat himself. He still worried it wasn’t enough. Then Wil raised his hips and all independent thought went south. Xan was careful, trying to go slowly and heard the slight gasp from beneath him as the head entered.

“Okay?” He huffed down to the blond. In response, Wil arched, put both feet flat on either side of Xan and pushed himself more fully onto him.

Gasping breaths the blond smiled with a slightly dazed expression. “I am now.” Legs wrapped around Xan’s waist, pulling him closer and leaving Xan little room to maneuver. Still, he was deviously happy with the position and put his elbows on either side of the blonde’s head.

Xan kissed him, diving into the sweet mouth. Wil’s head tilted back and Xan ran his tongue along the sharp jaw line. Xan felt the cock between them awaken and he arched to increase the friction.

Xan’s whole body hummed his cock was sending urgent messages. Wil was silk covering steel. Every ripple in the muscles beneath him pushed him to move faster and to go deeper and reminding him, who he was with, who his lover was. Xan lifted his head from the neck he’d been nibbling on and watched the blonde’s eyes switch from cobalt blue to yellow then back.

He was fighting it. Xan recognized it and the word bastards entered his mind. “Wil please, let go. Please, I want you to. Want to see all of you.” The words were murmured, close to the vampire’s ear.

Xan didn’t think his words had any affect at all. An un-human noise rose from the vampire and the eyes turned, ridges formed and the blond turned his face away.

Xan followed the movement, licking ridges and mumbling nonsense. “Beautiful, so beautiful. Bite me,”

That got the blonds attention. “You think this is beautiful? I can’t bite you.”

“Yes. Everything about you is beautiful. Everything. I want you to bite. I need it.” He bit Wil’s neck to make the point, hard. Wil screamed, bucked and squirmed to get to his neck. Xan tilted it giving the vampire access.

Xan could feel the unneeded breath on his neck, the hesitation and tilted his head more. Sharp teeth slid into him sending a direct bolt to his cock. Xan could feel breath against his neck from Wil’s nose, cool lips and never felt anything so blinding.

His vision lost focus. He was nothing but the heat rising from his neck, the hammering of his hips and the ragged scream that burst from him when the lights exploded.

Xan shook his head trying to uncross his eyes. He was lying full out on top of Wil, whose lips he could feel licking at his neck. Without moving, he kissed the head next to him. “I love you and right now. I cannot stress that enough.”

The blond beneath him chuckled and pushed him lightly. “You’re a little heavy.”

Slightly wishing he could stay but practically prevailed and he pulled back, groaning at the loss and grinning when the blond did the same.

He looked and noticed they were at the end of the bed. “Good sex is when you start off at the head of the bed and end up at the end.” He kissed the blond before collapsing next to him.

Wil turn on his side playing with Xan’s nipple and smirked. “You said I was beautiful.”

Xan looked down at the smiling blond. “Now normally I would tell you not to listen to me during sex. Like if I promise you a pony or your choice for dinner.” Wil’s smile dropped a little. “However in this case you can quote me all you like.”

“I really wanted that pony?” Wil pouted. Xan laughed and pulled him closer.

“Another shower or sleep?” Xan asked the blond hair.

“Sleep.” A weary voice replied and Xan agreed. He snagged a pillow with his feet and arranging that, pulled the cover over them. All without disturbing the head on his shoulder and feeling accomplished Xan whispered into the blond hair as his eyes closed. “Stay with me forever.”

The blond cuddled his shoulder and whispered back. “I think I can arrange that.”  
Xan let the implications of that statement slide with him into sleep.  
*Dream Sequence Part 2

Hands, human hands holding his head and gripping his hair, fragments, pictures of something else broke through. Something nice, of love, but that wasn’t here.

He was in his room. He could tell by the carpet. He spent a lot of time looking at this carpet. His back burnt and he could feel deep cuts struggling to heal. Blood slid from his back and was absorbed into the shirt he wore. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the tip of a whip and the drop of blood, his blood that hit the white carpet.

“My pretty little William,” He knew that voice, Thomas. He tensed when the whip left his sight and groaned as another lash was made on his back. Thomas, the pervert, the one that liked to play pretend games. Thomas was the one that disgusted him the most, which was saying a lot, the one that liked kids.

The whip dropped to the floor by his face and he didn’t dare reach for it as much as he wanted to. He knew the punishment. He couldn’t remember how long he’d been here in this room. Long enough that faces from ‘before’ were blurry and this was all he knew.

“I want you on your knees now William.” He didn’t fight the hand that used his hair to pull him up. There was no point. The collar would only let him do so much before it either froze him or gave him unspeakable pain.

He could only fight very little and then only when someone wanted him too, which, with Thomas, he could tell was not yet. They only had to skin him once for him to remember that.

On his knees in front of the man head lowered he could see the hated suit. Thomas’ favorite fashion statement for him, a white collared shirt, now shredded in the back, the hated navy tie and navy pants.

Thomas couldn’t see his face and Will allowed his eyes to roll as the man’s fingers played in his hair. “You know what to do, don’t you William?” Thomas griped his chin, and painfully raised Wil’s eyes to meet his.

William couldn’t answer him and they both knew it. His vocal cords had just recently been re-cut. Seeing how once they had healed all he could do was swear.

Figuring, by now, he could ‘do’ anything - anyway it could be done and that Thomas wanted some kind of answer, he nodded. That got his chin released and Thomas smiled. “Good boy. If you do it well. I might not have to get the toys out.”

Wil shuttered. He hated the ‘toys’ and his whole body ached already. He nodded and raised his hands to Thomas’ business suit pants. He reached and arranged the heavy cock, so it bobbed in front of him and not wasting any time, certainly not thinking. He swallowed, deep throating hurt and he hated himself for the whimper but Thomas enjoyed it.

Thomas grabbed his hair to control his mouth, pushing and pulling and he mindlessly went along with the action. Never more wishing he could just bite down, hard. Having done so once before he knew Wolfram & Hart would just fix the man and then there would be hell to pay. He relaxed his jaw.

Thomas used his grip to throw him to the floor and Wil watched as Thomas went to one of the many cabinets. He flinched, worried about what the heck the man was grabbing. A long, very shiny, double-edged knife, Wil crawled back on his hands.

Thomas cruelly smiled. “Don’t worry, William my sweet. You did good, I’m not going to cut you, much.”

Wil whimpered. Thomas grinned and advanced. He used the knife to cut clothing and skin, the hated tie, the ruined shirt, and then the pants. Wil tried to hold still but jumped every time the knife caught him.

Leaving him in boxers, Thomas’ choice in underwear. “On the bed William.”

He stood on his own and sighed with relief when he heard the knife hit the floor behind him. Once on the bed the stiff sheet irritated his back and he sat up to avoid them. Only to be pushed back forcibly. Thomas pulled his boxers off and then standing at the side of the bed made short work of his own clothing.

As Thomas crawled onto the bed like a timed rehearsed action Wil knew this was the time to make a scene with Thomas. Internally sighing, he backed away and began to whimper. Thomas grabbed him and using all the strength the collar allowed, he pushed against the man.

They both knew it was an act. They both knew it wasn’t real. Both knew with a word Wil would not be able to move much less fight. It wasn’t real. This was all a game. It wasn’t fear that made him cringe when Thomas yanked his legs apart. It wasn’t pain that made his tears flow when Thomas roughly entered him. It was humiliation and that was real.

Wil blinked. He lay very still for a moment and tried to remember where he was and who exactly was holding him. Xan’s warm chuckle vibrated his chest and Wil remembered and clung to him.

He could hear voices, which must have been what had awoken him and one voice in particular that used a wide margin of curse words, loudly. Recognizing his counterpart, Wil realized this was the second time his counterpart had saved him from a nightmare.

Not really wanting to break the mood but wanting to know Wil asked him. “Why are they yelling?”

Xan chuckled again and kissed the blond head on his shoulder. “Sounds like Angel and Spike just figured out that our shower goes from hot to freeze.”


	18. Love is a wonderful thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sex ahead

Angel couldn’t understand it. Spike was screaming and yelling about the cold water yet as soon as it had turned cold Spike had been gone, huddled in a towel and drying off. Where of course he as the idiot Sire, who had let Spike get clean first, had to stay and rinse off in the most god-awful arctic water.

It was the fastest rinse off vampiric speed could manage. As Angel dried off, he could feel the laser beams his childe called eyes watching every movement. Spike hadn’t left his side since they had returned. When Angel insisted the blond take a shower. Spike said he would only take one if Angel took one as well. Angel, in all effort to see an end to the blood covering the blond, had agreed, which allowed Angel to get a look at a naked Spike for the first time in literally lifetimes. Spike was just as beautiful as Angel remembered, if not a little on the skinny side.

Angel picked up the clothing Xan had left for them and threw a side the note on top, which read. ‘Angel man- Take care of my clothing- better than you would your own. P.S Thanks for hauling my ass out of there today. Xan.’ Seeing the last line again, Angel retrieved the note and decided to keep it, if anything for proof.

Angel offered Spike the clothing that had to have been left by Wil and he was ignored. Spike stared into a mirror, which held no reflection of anything but the wall behind him. Still ignoring the out stretched hand, the blue eyes looked towards him, while still maintaining the pose in the mirror. “Peaches, I think this mirrors broke.”

Angel turned towards the mirror, leaned over and saw nothing. He shook his head at the nonsense and turned back towards his childe. “No, it would be broken if you did see yourself. Or did you forget? You’re a vampire and the whole no reflection cause.”

Spike did look at him now. “Did you? I can’t help what I am. Didn’t ask for it remember? I have to eat but I can control myself.”

Angel dropped the clothing. Who said his boy wasn’t smart? “I know Spike. I know you can try but I also know how strong the urge to feed is. The first time you mess up and there will be a first time, you will die either by my hand or Buffy’s. Buffy may not even give you the first chance.” He couldn’t admit in the past that he had proven less than willing to stake his own. He couldn’t let doubt enter the picture. Unlike what Xan had said, this wasn’t a matter of pleasing Buffy. It was a matter of being able to live with him self.

“You’re not even going to give me a chance, are ya? Bloody hell peaches. Neither of us can change what we are.” Spike was pissed, towel clutched against himself and patrolling the small bathroom.

“Spike.” Angel noticed his voice rising. This was not a conversation for a small bathroom. He grabbed the clothing with one hand and with the other he grabbed his childe. He took both out of the bathroom and through the main room and into their bedroom. Angel was surprised they’d made it into the bedroom before Spike yanked his arm away. Angel tossed the clothing onto the bed. No need to make a mess and shut the door.

He took a deep breath. No one like Spike could breathe life into the undead and tried again. “Spike, I know what I am but I have an advantage over you. The soul allows me,”

“Bollocks.” The blond hissed shoving Angel once and stopping only to make a grab at his towel. “Don’t give me that soul crap. I know full well you feed off of humans. You’re not the only one with friends in LA.” Angel’s shock must have shown. Spike nodded and continued. “Besides, hello I know damn well the gypsy’s didn’t give you a ‘soul’. They gave you a conscious. One you never had even as a human.”

Angel’s eyes followed the path of the blond vampire’s waving arms, trying to pull him self off the edge. “Spike no one knows what you’ve just said and if you tell,”

The blond stopped several feet away from him and turned his way. “You’ll stake me yourself. I know. Don’t you think if I were going to tell, I would have by now? Hell, the look on your employee’s faces would be worth it alone but I didn’t and I won’t.”

“I wouldn’t stake you.”

Spike rummaged through the pockets of the duster and pulled out an abused cigarette then lit it. Angel watched the light shine off the metal lighter as it dropped from the blond’s hands and onto the floor. Spike said more but Angel couldn’t make himself listen. He looked at the lighter on the floor. The lighter he had given Spike. Spike had kept his secrets and hadn’t told anyone. Though it would’ve been a great way for Spike to destroy him or at the least have a good laugh.

Angel thought of the young man Spike had once been, a conscious was one thing that young human had not been lacking. Spike knew all his secrets but the largest. “I slept with Darla.”

Spike stopped cold. Whatever he’d been saying falling away. “But you’re not Angelus, are you?” The blond backed up. “I mean, when?”

“It doesn’t matter. It wasn’t that long ago. What does matter is that I figured it out. Sex has nothing to do with the curse. It’s all about redemption, as long as I know I still have to redeem myself and not forget myself. It’s fine.”

Spike looked shell-shocked. Actually, Angel was a little shocked himself. He had wanted to tell Gunn, Cordelia, and Wesley first. But after he had so messed up with them, he had waited till the time was right and that time just never came.

“What about Buffy?” Spike sputtered.   
“What about her?” Angel was distracted. He was trying to remember how this conversation went so wrong.

“What about her? Why aren’t you shagging her silly?” Spike flicked his ashes onto a plate, which looked rather expensive and he shrugged uncaring and ground the cigarette out on it, careful not to look Angel’s way.

Angel ignored the plate and its destruction. “We’re over and never should have happened. I forgot myself with her and that was my mistake. I forgot who I was. I thought I could reach redemption through her. I know now that is not true. I thought, I loved her and in a way I do and always will, but I fell for her goodness, her rightness, not her.” Angel was ashamed of how he’d acted with Buffy. One of a thousand regrets and if he let Spike go now would that be another?

“Well then good and all that supportive lot but what does that have to do with me?” Spike still had the towel wrapped around himself modestly with a slightly confused expression on his sweet face. Every inch looking like the young man Angel had fallen for once upon ago.

Angel stepped closer to Spike, invading his personal space, tipped his chin up and kissed him, gently, softly and with only a small nip to that temping bottom lip. “It’s my way of telling you not to worry about Angelus.” He wrapped an arm around the blond and his other hand held Spike’s chin tilted up towards him. “Did your ‘friends’ also tell you who I fed off of?”

With a gleam in his eye Spike nodded, within the confines of the grip on his chin. “Yes, bad guys. The nastiest you could find and not often.”

“Spike…William.” His tone was serious and he tightened his grip on the slight blond. “I have to know. Can you do this? Can you just feed once a night off of a certain type of human? Can you go with bagged if you don’t find someone like that? Cause I want to love you. I really do and I won’t let myself if I have to stake you in a month.” If he said it enough times he might make himself believe he could actually stake this childe, no matter what he did.

Spike closed his eyes and thought the question over. He knew Peaches wouldn’t take a quick response. His sire wouldn’t believe he could make this so easy, even when it was. The chip had stopped him from feeding naturally. What would it be to just feed off the bad guys? Especially when he had so much to lose and so much to gain just by watching his step. Could he do this, easy, did he want to, definitely.

When he looked up Angel was staring down at him. “Yes. I can do it.” He didn’t say anymore. He was afraid anything else he might say would sound like a smart comment.

If Spike needed breathe it would have been knocked out of him by the force he hit the wall with. Angel’s mouth descended on his and Spike retained just enough sense to drop the towel surrounding him and to pull at Angel’s until it to fell on the floor.

Angel bit the tongue that ran across his lips. Spike’s hands worked around his neck, fingers into the back of his hair and he moaned when Spike’s legs lift and wrapped around him.

One hand balanced on the wall, the other sliding between the blonde’ ass cheeks, Angel groaned as Spike thrust against him. He was already painfully hard and every pivot of those hips drove Angel slowly out of his mind.

Angel kissed and nipped his way down until Spike had no choice but to turn his head. Angel traced the large vein with his tongue. The demon came out to play, ridges forming- eyes changing and his fangs dropped into the soft neck.

Spike moaned and slammed his head against the wall. Angel lifted him higher and Spike felt the hard cock against his entrance.

Angel rocked against the small entrance, tempted to ask and maybe look for some kind lube but Spike was pressing down against him. Angel withdrew his hand and let Spike do what he pleased. Just so happened it pleased them both. Spike wiggled and impaled himself fully with a hiss. Angel pulled his fangs from the skin and lapped at the wound.

Angel used the wall to brace them. Spike’s shoulders scrapped against the wall as they moved and powerful thighs clamped then released around Angel’s waist. Angel threw his head back and bit down on the yell rumbling from his cock.

He reached between them and wrapped his hand around the blonde’s weeping cock. Spike tossed his head and thrust against the hand, speeding the rolling of his hips. Unable to spare a hand, Angel couldn’t force lowing fangs to his neck and he hissed. “Bite now.”

Spike looked like he was going resist the urge then wrapped both his arms around Angel’s neck and lowered his head. Angel felt the fangs brush his neck and with a hard thrust forward Spike was nursing his life fluid and Angel didn’t bite back the yell of bubbling joy and fulfillment.

Angel’s hand clawed at the wall and paint peeled beneath his fingers. He slid his hand up to let his forearm brace them. Spike hit the wall hard and with the blond pinned. Angel controlled the movements, increasing pressure and speed in both his hand and hips. His lover’s shoulder rubbed past his mouth and as the blond continued to feed. Angel bit his shoulder to muffle his own screams.

The thighs around his waist trembled erratically and every muscle in Spike tensed. Angel felt the pressure at his neck relax and his blood begin to make a trail down his shoulder and hard breathe against his shoulder.   
With soundless screams Spike’s body thumped against the wall straining as the cock in Angel’s hand burst with endless streams and Spike’s body tightened around him. Angel growled as the pressure surrounding his own cock became exquisitely painful and he let the painful pleasure drive him over and down. Spiraling, standing so still, letting the feeling wash over him and drowning him in haze.

He kissed the bloody shoulder and lapped at the slowing blood stream. Angel huffed between nips then tilted to sucking on the lobe of an ear. Slowly, he gathered the pieces of himself from around the room. Spike’s head left his neck with one more kiss and then lifted far enough away to kiss his lips. Angel’s tasted himself in the blonde’s mouth and moaning he pulled away.

Leaning his forehead against the blonds he stared into those dazed ‘baby blues’. Angel opened his mouth to say those words instead out came. “Come to LA.”

Spike tilted his head and a smirk pulled at the corner of his puffy lips. “Why? So you can have nightly service or so you can watch over me?”

Angel pulled back, far enough from the wall to help the blond onto his own feet. Angel rolled his eyes as he pulled out of the slim body. Spike put a hand on the wall, determined to stand, no matter what his feet had to say about it.

Angel grabbed his chin fundamentally halting Spike's gradual decent down the wall. “Yes. Also because I love you and want you in my life.”

“I love you too Peaches and if you want me. I’ll move to LA.”

“I want you in my life and on that bed, now.” Angel laughed at the look that crossed Spike’s face. Somewhere between lust and ‘what the hell have I gotten myself into’. Still chuckling he grabbed the blond up and carried him even as Spike yelled to be put down.

Angel didn’t listen. He was alive. He had committed far above his quota of good acts today and he was humming, ‘Love is a wonderful thing’, out of pitch as he dove on to the bed.


	19. To step up

Xan stared into his cup of coffee. The new coffeemaker hadn’t improved the coffee past the mud stage. Perhaps it was the time to look at the operator of the machine, rather than the machine.

He made himself take another gulp. He stared at the office around him, wishing it were his bedroom. Half paying attention to the words issued at him, he wished he could have stayed with his lover that morning instead of waking early and leaving a note and a pillow in his place.

Thinking of his Wil brought a goofy smile to his face. Not to mention, he’d been right about Angel and those walls. They’d been damn lucky the place hadn’t fallen on their heads last night. The picture alone made him laugh and he muffled it, quickly. When the meeting stopped to swing his way, he controlled himself and nodded for them to continue.

It had already been a full morning for him, as promised he’d told Willow, Wes and Giles, (when the watcher had shown up two hours ago), to get to work on a way home for their guests. He hadn’t seen his counterpart yet and the watcher had seemed surprised to see him up and about at 6:00 in the morning. So he guessed he wouldn’t see his counterpart for a while.

Nor had he seen his Wil or the other vampires. Due to their nature of sleeping all day, especially after the workouts Angel and Spike had given his walls. He doubted he’d see any of them before lunch or perhaps dinner.

Realizing he was grinning again. Xan pushed it down to look suitably somber. It was a hopeless cause. The only time he had been unable to find that smile today was when he had spoken to the families of the dead. Then he had to swing by his room to look in on a sleeping Wil just to find it again.

Xan sighed and tilting his coffee cup mentally prepared himself for another gulp. He was going to miss Spike and Angel. They reminded him of the good old days. With the exception that now he had his own blond vampire and jealously didn’t twist his gut whenever he saw them together.

He would wait till Angel had gone before breaking the news about their Angel. He’d seen the looks his family had cast towards the vampire, the missing, the longing, and the sadness. It would be just too hard to break it while that Angel was still here.

He’d caught himself just wishing he could ask them to stay, which he couldn’t do. They couldn’t stay, it wasn’t right and it was selfish. Even with all the pain between them Angel, their own Angel, had been his closest friend, his equal and someone to help shoulder the responsibility. Once this other Angel was gone he would know the past was gone with him. Then the mourning would begin.  
Spike, now he would miss that guy and not because he looked like his lover, maybe a little. He loved Wil but he missed the past and having his counterpart around helped Wil to remember who he was, and how to become that person again faster than any other method would have.

Now he was sure Wil in time would slowly break away from what he’d become and into a more natural state. It was in his nature. A personality so strong could only stay hidden for so long.

Xan remembered with fondness yelling and trying to match wills with the old Spike and truthfully, couldn’t wait to do it again. Until then he would love Wil, show him more love and support than any one person should be able. And he’d wait for the day the nightmares didn’t haunt his sleep every night.

This was a new page. A step from the past and though it hurt his heart no one could go back and, thinking of his lover, he knew he didn’t want to. When Spike and Angel stepped through that portal they would be doing more than just leaving.

They would be shutting the door on a chapter of his life.

“Xan…XAN!” Xan’s head shot up. The whole room was staring at him. Reboot, hands on her hips, glared at him with impatience. “Well Xan, can we go ahead with that?”

Oh boy. Xan looked down at the table. So only those closest would see the blush raising and his expression. He mumbled. “I’m sorry, what was that?”

Reboot sighed. “I said, Willow just called and said they found something that just might work, a way to open a portal. Do you want them to go ahead and wake the others up?”

“Oh Yes, go ahead. In fact are they still in the upstairs training room?” Reboot nodded. “I’ll head that way myself. Call Angel and Spike and let them wake Wil.”

Reboot nodded and then moved onto another topic, a party for their achievements with the armory, to follow the service for the fallen. As she was talking moral, Xan walked past her and into the tunnels, glancing at his watch as the door shut behind him. It had only taken them 4 hours to find a way.

Xan stepped into the training room. Willow, Giles, and Wes were all talking over each other and pointing into the book on the bench in front of them. He coughed. He called out their names, finding all of this being ignored, he yelled. “HELLO- IMPORTANT PERSON HERE!” Which got him quiet, along with glares but he had their attention. “What’s the sit, witchy woman?”

“Well since everything else I’ve tried using Giles and Wes for energy and focus points has worked so well. I figure this should be easy. Oh yeah, Angel and both Spike’s are on their way.”  
“So it won’t take long?” He heard the resigned tone in his voice and smiled to make it sound more up beat.

“No. Not at all once we start.” Willow seemed to share his slight hitch and he smiled at her and was relieved when she was able to produce a small one back.

He turned towards Giles. “Well man, I kept my word and I thank you for helping out. Without you yesterday could have been worse. And I have to admit I hate to lose an energy source. Willow says you’ve really boasted her levels and her confidence.”

Giles seemed to fluster with the compliments, taking his glasses off and rubbing them. He didn’t look up as he replied. “Thank you, but really it was nothing. I feel I gave my energy and,” He looked towards Willow. “Focus to a good cause. As for the confidence, with work, she should be as accurate with me as without.”

Xan sighed. They were back to very rare use of magic. He knew it would be some time before Willow would allow herself to work big magic again as she had with the disappearing guards yesterday.

Speaking of disappearing, an evil twinkle rose to his eyes and he glanced to the three then smiled a wicked grin. “Giles before the others get here. Could I get you to help Willow with one more project?”

Still holding his glasses, Giles looked to his right at Willow and then to his left at Wes and getting shrugs from both sides, he shrugged. “I don’t see why not as long as it doesn’t interfere with the portal.”

“Oh it won’t. More like a practice run.” The three looked at each other and Xan came closer. “This is what I want you to do.”

Two hours later, Willow stood at the book where it was balanced on several boxes. Wes stood beside her and Giles just a little farther to the right. Xan glanced around G, was holding Queen close and she stared at Angel who was standing to her right.

Angel, on the other hand, was putting his attention between the wall where Willow aimed her words and the two blonds speaking to each other between him and Xan. Xan had his arm around Wil and tried not to listen as the blonds spoke to each other.

Xan let his arm drop when Wil wiggled from under it to lean into his counterpart. Xan couldn’t turn away when the blonds began kissing passionately. He had an urge to raise his hand, stop Willow and take both blonds to his room and try this again tomorrow.

Angel looked like he was thinking the same thing. Xan smiled over the blond’s. Angel nodded, sadly smiling back.

Xan could again hear his counterpart gagging from the other side of Queen and G. Xan noted that was one thing he wouldn’t miss. Though he did wish they could’ve spent more time talking.

The wind picked up and the blonds pulled apart. Xan turned his attention to the wall where the blue light had begun to form.

The circle grew and with it the wind, waving forward. Then it snapped back into a perfect passageway. Xander stepped from where he stood and walked up to Xan. Xander looked at him for a moment before extending his hand and Xan took it.

“See ya. Keep fighting the good fight.” The wind made the words hard to hear.

Xan leaned in and yelled back. “Yeah man, you too. Thanks for your help.” Xan was slightly surprised when his counterpart hugged him.

He hugged back just hearing Xander whisper in his ear. “I hope I’m half the man you are. Good luck.” Releasing him, Xander quickly stepped towards the portal.

Xan yelled, just before Xander reached the entrance. “Xander.” The counterpart looked back. “You are.” Xander nodded with a smile and disappeared through the opening. Xan nodded his head. There went the man- the kind child, he could have been.

Xan looked around, watching everyone get their goodbyes. Giles appeared before him not bothering with a handshake, the watcher pulled him close. “I know your Giles was, and is, proud of you. I know I am. Never forget you can win this. I will think of you all often.”

Xan blinked back the tears. Flashes of his own Giles and a blond Slayer, named Buffy, appeared before his eyes, fighting and dying, living and then gone. The boy he was then and the man he was now and he missed them all. Squeezing Giles tightly, he let him go and with him, all the pain of his own loss over their counterparts. Somehow feeling now he’d had a chance to say goodbye. “Giles, I never got a chance to say this but thank you. Your influence made me strong.”

Giles nodded and stepped away until he too was pulled into the circle, the fatherly smile never leaving his face.

The blonds were still saying their goodbyes. Angel stepped from Queen and over to Xan. Still looking at the blonds, actually Wil, Angel held out his arm. Xan gripped it and Angel returned the gesture. Nodding towards Wil, Angel spoke. “Take care of him. In any universe, he’s still my boy. Treat him right.”

“I will. Take care of yours. In any universe, I still love him. Thank you for helping out.”

“I will. You’re a good man Alexander Harris and I know Wolfram and Hart never win with you around. Fight the good fight.”

Xan nodded. “You’re not a bad undead guy yourself. Watch out for Wolfram & Hart on your side.”

Angel nodded and stepped back. He turned to the blonds, grabbed Wil and lifted him from the ground with force of the hug.

Willow yelled. They were short on time. He heard Angel tell Wil how much he loved him and to be good. Xan didn’t bother talking. He grabbed Spike and kissed him deeply and when he let the dazed blond go Xan heard something from Spike about doing some dealings with Xander.

Xan laughed, kissed the blond’s forehead and let him go. Angel headed towards the portal, pausing to take Spike’s hand. Just before the edge emerged with blue lights and with the wind circling around them, Angel raised Spike’s hand and kissed it.

Looking back and smiling Angel stepped through. Spike turned back and waved as he too stepped into the blue yonder and out of sight.

The portal whooshed and then blinked out of existence.

And with it the last chapter of Xan’s life blinked into the past.

He pulled Wil into his arms and stared at the wall where the light had been. Wil wrapped an arm around Xan’s neck and brought him to face level and kissed him. He whispered. “You’re crying.”

Xan looked down at the blond. “I love you.” Wil kissed him gently and leaned against him.

As the others faded away, they stood there wrapped in each other, staring at a wall.


	20. Epilogue: Beneath the same stars

Wolfram & Hart: Headquarters

The elder’s argued around the table. Ambrose sat in his usual place at the center, unbothered and uncaring.

An older man gaffed to the others. “We don’t know he’s dead. We have to find him. He could have been just knocked out.”

Another spoke up. “The information he has could put us in an uncomfortable position. He must be found.”

Agreements arose around the table and another next to Ambrose spoke out. “We all know there is more to us elder’s than a normal human. We are not so easily removed. Besides we could bring him back.” This man gave an uncomfortable glance towards Ambrose and fell silent.

A light flashed, bright and blinding, even Ambrose turned from its glare. Thomas was the first to recover and looked where the light had been. “Found Frank.” He called out as the others looked at a large glass cage that had appeared. Several gulped and arranged themselves nervously. There was no way to bring that back.

Thomas shook his head as he read the words. “I told him that kid didn’t like him.”

Ambrose coldly regarded the cage. “Call clean up. Any suggestions for promotion?”

~‘Normal’ Universe…

Angel glanced down again at the paper in his hands. It was the note Xan had left him. While going through his closet Angel had found it in the pocket of the pants he’d worn getting back.

It had been six months since their return and at first Angel thought of them daily, wondering if they were still fighting and worrying if Wil was okay. Soon it was every couple of days, then every once a week or so, until now where he hadn’t thought of them once last or this week.

Angel closed his eyes thinking of Wil, the childe that wasn’t his but was and was so close to the William he had turned.

His own childe had been lucky. It had taken some fast-talking on his part to make sure no one was going to stake the now un-chipped Spike. With no help from Spike who had threatened everyone his first 10 minutes back. However unlikely help came from Giles and most surprisingly from Xander who, when Angel questioned him, said he owned it to Xan and Angel took it at that.   
Angel was sure Xan would have laughed his ass off at the changes that had taken place over the last six months.

Angel was so sure he could almost hear the ‘I told you so’.

Cordelia and Gunn were officially dating. It had been slow at first but now it was solid. They went everywhere together and thankfully kept the public affection on a much more subdued level than their counterparts had.

Wesley was trying to acquire a skill with a green ball that formed in his hand. Half the time it didn’t work and when it did everyone cleared. Wes was getting the hang of it, enough that he had singed Angel, several times, so far. Now in a fight he had to watch who ever he was fighting and Wesley to boot.

Giles called weekly to exchange information but now he would talk to Angel or even Spike just as well as he would Wesley. Not to mention when Giles called he always ended up talking about Xander. Soon after they’d arrived back Anya and Xander had split up. Xander turned to Giles for help and spending time together had made the watcher and the zeppo good friends and both were better for it.

Angel was still trying to puzzle out why Spike had grinned like the manic he was when he’d heard to news about Anya and Xander. Licking his lips with a far away look in his eyes, Spike had pulled the phone from Angel and invited Xander to come to LA. Something in Spike’s look had Angel staying within feet of them the whole time Xander had visited.

Yet, none of those things alone had given him pause to think. However, as each event occurred he spent more time paying attention to the movements of Wolfram & Hart, just in case.

Angel folded the paper and picked up a book off the coffee table. He stuck the note in the front and still holding the book he leaned back onto the couch.

“Brooding Peaches?” Angel looked over to the door to see Spike leaning against the wall.

“No, thinking.” Angel smiled at the blond. Bring Spike to live with him had been trying but living with the pains of the blond were far easier to live with than living without him. Xan had been right. It all had to with priorities and Angel’s were right on target.

“Same bloody thing, Peaches. I’m hungry, wanna get something to eat?”

Angel pulled himself off the couch and towards the blond. “Yeah, we could. However, I think we should work up more of an appetite first.” Angel pulled the blond fully into the room and shut the door.

 

~A universe away…

Xan stretched out on the bed with Wil’s head pillowed on his shoulder. Wil told someone to bugger off today and rather than yell at him, Xan had just stood there and grinned.

He had waited two weeks after the counterparts left before he’d broken the news about Angel.

The only one who had taken it well was Dru who he guessed had known. She took care of Wes who needed his crazy girlfriend now more than ever. He was lost without Angel, his pain was palpable and his sorrow deep. He was like a lost little soul wandering and trying to find his way. They would all support him and try to do the best they could. Xan had hopes that he’d move past this without a complete breakdown.

Queen took it badly. In the last three months she had only slowly moved past tears.

Willow, oddly enough, was the strength that held them together as they had grieved. Xan had pulled himself and Wil through it. He had been no help to anyone else and he was thankful Willow had been there.

They had a far way to go but the new weapons had improved their chances and victories were more often than not. People still died and Xan still grieved every loss. Wolfram & Hart’s days were numbered. He’d always known they would fall and now it seemed Wolfram & Hart knew it to.

He thought of their counterparts and wondered how they faired and if all was well. However, his spare time was little, Wil took most of it and missing the counterparts was something he did not dwell on.

He figured he didn’t have to dwell. He knew that somewhere out there an Angel dwelled enough for them all.

The blond head tossed and a small moan escaped. Xan did his nightly duties and called his vampire from out of his nightmare. Wil opened his eyes and Xan explained. “You were having a nightmare.”

Wil snuggled back down. “No, it wasn’t. It was a dream. A dream about you.”

Xan kissed the blond head under his chin. His mind and body were still at war and had a long way to go but now his heart and soul were at peace. He settled down and closed his eyes with a small smile and waited for sleep to overtake him and his perchance to Dream.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.


End file.
